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  • A few months back,

  • I made a video on a breakup I had

  • and ever since then I've been very interested in the specific actions, not just the mindsets,

  • but the actions that lead to feeling happier.

  • Because at the time, feeling happy was tough for me.

  • It was something that had always come easy,

  • and all of a sudden,

  • I just couldn't tap into it.

  • So I tried dozens of different exercises

  • and really settled on three that were head and shoulders above the rest,

  • in terms of immediately changing the way that I felt.

  • So whether or not you're struggling with happiness today,

  • or you would just like to feel a little bit happier every day,

  • because why not, I want to share these exercises with you because they are truly powerful.

  • First off, create space for your brain to subconsciously solve problems.

  • Now I gotta explain that because

  • what a lot of people don't realize is that we spend a lot of our time engaged in active problem-solving.

  • We're thinking about the future,

  • we're thinking about the past,

  • there's some kind of problem we want to solve

  • or we're just passively absorbing media, really.

  • Whether it's from your computer screen, your phone,

  • wherever, you're being stimulated in some way or you're directing your brain.

  • What we don't realize is that our brain sometimes work best when left to their own devices

  • when we just get them space to unwind

  • and I realized this because when I was going through break up,

  • I'm a writer and one of the first things I did was write all my feelings, get rid of them.

  • That's helpful, but what I didn't realize was going to happen and the reason I've continued freewriting since,

  • is that I started solving problems I didn't realize that I had.

  • Like at the time, I go into a freewriting thing and come out with some sort of business solution for Charisma on Command.

  • Or I'd realize I feel like,

  • You know, I haven't done jiujitsu in a while and that's really bothering me

  • because I said that was important to me.

  • In any of that, what I started realizing is that we have these subconscious pebbles in our shoe, if you will,

  • and while they don't always bubble up to conscious level,

  • they bother us and they weigh on us

  • so when giving yourself time to realize what those are

  • and then solve them through something like freewriting which if you don't know what it is,

  • it's just taking 10 minutes or so to write about 750 words, or three pages.

  • There's applications that I'll link to that you can do it.

  • That gives you your subconscious brain permission to say, "Hey, we gotta deal with this stuff."

  • and then fix it and it's incredible how much it helps.

  • I really recommend freewriting

  • but if you're not a writer you can also take a long walk,

  • you can go for a run, you can do traditional meditation.

  • A lot of these things can help tremendously

  • so that's the first one.

  • The second piece and the third piece are related to gratitude

  • because in just about every credible scientific study of happiness,

  • gratitude ranks among the top things that you can do to feel happier,

  • but there's not a lot of good exercise for actually doing it.

  • It's just write down five things that you're grateful for

  • and I found that wasn't really connecting with me

  • what connected with me was,

  • as really horrible as it sounds,

  • was imagining the worst case scenario:

  • was negative gratitude.

  • So instead of just saying I'm thankful for my health,

  • I would say imagine that you went to the doctors today,

  • and you walked in and he did a test.

  • He said, "I'm sorry. We just looked at your results,

  • and it appears like you have cancer

  • and it's likely to be terminal,"

  • and then I would sit with that or instead of just saying,

  • "I'm thankful for living with my friends

  • and spending time with my friends," I'd say,

  • "Okay right now my friends are abroad.

  • What if their plane crashed and they were gone?"

  • That creates a visceral fear in me, and I would sit with that for 30 seconds, a minute, whenever,

  • playthrough like, I know this sounds really morbid,

  • but like the funeral and that would take me to a place that when I stop and I went, "I'm thankful to live with my friends.

  • Holy cow! That feels amazing!"

  • And not only does the gratefulness sink in,

  • but all of a sudden all of your other problems,

  • whether it's a breakup,

  • something going on with your business,

  • or somebody's being mean to you,

  • they seem so petty.

  • You're training your brain to really put things in perspective.

  • You don't want to do this every minute of every day.

  • I'm not asking you to constantly do this

  • but for one moment a day as you're doing these exercises to do this,

  • I found it has really helped me tap into honest gratitude.

  • And then the third thing, once I get there,

  • where I'm like, Wow, like things are amazing,

  • I'll take it to the next level like

  • not only are my friends not in a plane crash,

  • but I get to live with them,

  • I get to hang out with them,

  • I get through all this cool stuff.

  • Then when I'm feeling really good,

  • I extend that gratitude to people that I especially am feeling envious of.

  • And to give a quick example of someone that I may feel envious of,

  • I love music.

  • I've been playing guitar for 10, 12 years.

  • I just started learning piano and I've been trying to sing for like three years now.

  • And I've moved from horrible screeching terrible

  • to mediocre and that means that when I see people

  • that seem to do it effortlessly

  • especially when they're younger

  • and they break onto the scene.

  • There's a moment of I like that song

  • but, Man, that fat guy. Screw him. It's just not fair.

  • And what that does is that sort of thought pattern

  • can become a habit and you can start to see it in other areas of life.

  • So rooting it out is going to help you be much happier

  • and what I'll do here is, okay, take someone, like I really like his music

  • but i'm jealous. Shawn Mendes, he sings great."

  • I'll go, you know what? That's amazing that he gets to travel the world and express himself musically for so many people,

  • that his full-time job is to just get better and better and better at that.

  • That is amazing, that's so cool for him.

  • Or if I see someone that has anything,

  • it doesn't have to be someone that I'm jealous of.

  • My friends are traveling; I don't want to travel,

  • but I know that's really great for them that they get to travel.

  • They've been wanting to do this for so long.

  • You train yourself.

  • You do five things that you're grateful for and the opposite

  • and five things that other people have

  • that you don't have a reason to be grateful for

  • but just try to tap into that gratefulness for them anyway.

  • It can feel hard at first but go through this practice

  • and what you become is really incredibly charismatic.

  • This is tough for me but if you can really be the guy

  • or the girl who is out there and is genuinely happy when good things happen to other people

  • like filled to the brim,

  • man, that's the kind of person other people want to be around

  • and it just gives you so much more happiness in the world to tap into and have yourself.

  • So I hope that you guys do these things.

  • If you want to roll them all into one concrete thing that takes 10-20 minutes,

  • go to the apps in the description and do your freewriting.

  • Just, you know, let yourself write, brain dump,

  • get things out, solve some problems,

  • then at the end do two or three minutes

  • of this negative gratitude where you're only going to write down five things,

  • but you're going to sit back and you're gonna think about, "Man, what would the opposite of this be?"

  • and really associate with that.

  • And then, then be grateful for the things that you have

  • and then when you're feeling good you're like,

  • "My life is so fortunate. Not only these bad things aren't happening but I wasn't born in the fifth century,"

  • that like there's just so much to be grateful for

  • for just about every person in the world,

  • especially those of us who can watch have leisure time

  • to watch Youtube, then you go and you spread that gratitude to other people.

  • It takes about 20 minutes, 10-20 minutes a day

  • and if you do that, you will find that you condition yourself to be happier all the time.

  • So I hope you guys found this helpful.

  • If you have, make sure to subscribe to the channel.

  • We've got tons of videos like these.

  • Happiness is a pet project of mine that I'll definitely be doing more

  • but how to learn faster with the charisma breakdowns of the world's most charismatic people.

  • So subscribe and that way you'll never miss a video

  • and of course I hope that you enjoy this video.

  • I hope you guys go out and apply some of the stuff at least for today,

  • and I will look forward to seeing you in the next video.

A few months back,

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3 Ways To Be a Little Happier Every Day

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    Jessieeee   posted on 2018/12/09
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