Subtitles section Play video
-
Hello. I'd like to show you guys 30 seconds of the best day of my life.
-
(Applause)
-
So that was El Capitan in California's Yosemite National Park,
-
and in case you couldn't tell,
-
I was climbing by myself without a rope,
-
a style of a climbing known as free soloing.
-
That was the culmination of a nearly decade-long dream,
-
and in the video I'm over 2,500 feet off the ground.
-
Seems scary? Yeah, it is,
-
which is why I spent so many years dreaming about soloing El Cap
-
and not actually doing it.
-
But on the day that that video was taken,
-
it didn't feel scary at all.
-
It felt as comfortable and natural as a walk in the park,
-
which is what most folks were doing in Yosemite that day.
-
Today I'd like to talk about how I was able to feel so comfortable
-
and how I overcame my fear.
-
I'll start with a very brief version of how I became a climber,
-
and then tell the story of my two most significant free solos.
-
They were both successful, which is why I'm here.
-
(Laughter)
-
But the first felt largely unsatisfying,
-
whereas the second, El Cap, was by far the most fulfilling day of my life.
-
Through these two climbs, you'll see my process for managing fear.
-
So I started climbing in a gym when I was around 10 years old,
-
which means that my life has been centered on climbing
-
for more than 20 years.
-
After nearly a decade of climbing mostly indoors,
-
I made the transition to the outdoors and gradually started free soloing.
-
I built up my comfort over time
-
and slowly took on bigger and more challenging walls.
-
And there have been many free soloists before me,
-
so I had plenty of inspiration to draw from.
-
But by 2008, I'd repeated most of their previous solos in Yosemite
-
and was starting to imagine breaking into new terrain.
-
The obvious first choice was Half Dome,
-
an iconic 2,000-foot wall the lords over the east end of the valley.
-
The problem, though also the allure,
-
was that it was too big.
-
I didn't really know how to prepare for a potential free solo.
-
So I decided to skip the preparations
-
and just go up there and have an adventure.
-
I figured I would rise to the occasion,
-
which, unsurprisingly, was not the best strategy.
-
I did at least climb the route roped up with a friend two days before
-
just to make sure that I knew roughly where to go
-
and that I could physically do it.
-
But when I came back by myself two days later,
-
I decided that I didn't want to go that way.
-
I knew that there was a 300-foot variation
-
that circled around one of the hardest parts of the climb.
-
I suddenly decided to skip the hard part and take the variation,
-
even though I'd never climbed it before,
-
but I immediately began to doubt myself.
-
Imagine being by yourself in the dead center of a 2,000-foot face,
-
wondering if you're lost.
-
(Laughter)
-
Thankfully, it was pretty much the right way
-
and I circled back to the route.
-
I was slightly rattled, I was pretty rattled,
-
but I tried not to let it bother me too much
-
because I knew that all the hardest climbing was up at the top.
-
I needed to stay composed.
-
It was a beautiful September morning, and as I climbed higher,
-
I could hear the sounds of tourists chatting and laughing on the summit.
-
They'd all hiked up the normal trail on the back,
-
which I was planning on using for my descent.
-
But between me and the summit lay a blank slab of granite.
-
There were no cracks or edges to hold on to,
-
just small ripples of texture up a slightly less than vertical wall.
-
I had to trust my life to the friction between my climbing shoes
-
and the smooth granite.
-
I carefully balanced my way upward,
-
shifting my weight back and forth between the small smears.
-
But then I reached a foothold that I didn't quite trust.
-
Two days ago, I'd have just stepped right up on it,
-
but that would have been with a rope on.
-
Now it felt too small and too slippery.
-
I doubted that my foot would stay on if I weighted it.
-
I considered a foot further to the side, which seemed worse.
-
I switched my feet and tried a foot further out.
-
It seemed even worse.
-
I started to panic.
-
I could hear people laughing on the summit just above me.
-
I wanted to be anywhere but on that slab.
-
My mind was racing in every direction.
-
I knew what I had to do, but I was too afraid to do it.
-
I just had to stand up on my right foot.
-
And so after what felt like an eternity, I accepted what I had to do
-
and I stood up on the right foot,
-
and it didn't slip, and so I didn't die,
-
and that move marked the end of the hardest climbing.
-
And so I charged from there towards the summit.
-
And so normally when you summit Half Dome,
-
you have a rope and a bunch of climbing gear on you,
-
and tourists gasp and they flock around you for photos.
-
This time I popped over the edge shirtless, panting, jacked.
-
I was amped, but nobody batted an eye.
-
(Laughter)
-
I looked like a lost hiker that was too close to the edge.
-
I was surrounded by people talking on cell phones and having picnics.
-
I felt like I was in a mall.
-
(Laughter)
-
I took off my tight climbing shoes and started hiking back down,
-
and that's when people stopped me.
-
"You're hiking barefoot? That's so hard-core."
-
(Laughter)
-
I didn't bother to explain,
-
but that night in my climbing journal, I duly noted my free solo of Half Dome,
-
but I included a frowny face and a comment, "Do better?"
-
I'd succeeded in the solo
-
and it was celebrated as a big first in climbing.
-
Some friends later made a film about it.
-
But I was unsatisfied.
-
I was disappointed in my performance,
-
because I knew that I had gotten away with something.
-
I didn't want to be a lucky climber. I wanted to be a great climber.
-
I actually took the next year or so off from free soloing,
-
because I knew that I shouldn't make a habit of relying on luck.
-
But even though I wasn't soloing very much,
-
I'd already started to think about El Cap.
-
It was always in the back of my mind as the obvious crown jewel of solos.
-
It's the most striking wall in the world.
-
Each year, for the next seven years,
-
I'd think, "This is the year that I'm going to solo El Cap."
-
And then I would drive into Yosemite, look up at the wall, and think,
-
"No frickin' way."
-
(Laughter)
-
It's too big and too scary.
-
But eventually I came to accept that I wanted to test myself against El Cap.
-
It represented true mastery,
-
but I needed it to feel different.
-
I didn't want to get away with anything or barely squeak by.
-
This time I wanted to do it right.
-
The thing that makes El Cap so intimidating
-
is the sheer scale of the wall.
-
Most climbers take three to five days
-
to ascend the 3,000 feet of vertical granite.
-
The idea of setting out up a wall of that size
-
with nothing but shoes and a chalk bag seemed impossible.
-
3,000 feet of climbing represents
-
thousands of distinct hand and foot movements,
-
which is a lot to remember.
-
Many of the moves I knew through sheer repetition.
-
I'd climbed El Cap maybe 50 times over the previous decade with a rope.
-
But this photo shows my preferred method of rehearsing the moves.
-
I'm on the summit,
-
about to repel down the face with over a thousand feet of rope
-
to spend the day practicing.
-
Once I found sequences that felt secure and repeatable,
-
I had to memorize them.
-
I had to make sure that they were so deeply ingrained within me
-
that there was no possibility of error.
-
I didn't want to be wondering if I was going the right way
-
or using the best holds.
-
I needed everything to feel automatic.
-
Climbing with a rope is a largely physical effort.
-
You just have to be strong enough to hold on and make the movements upward.
-
But free soloing plays out more in the mind.
-
The physical effort is largely the same.
-
Your body is still climbing the same wall.
-
But staying calm and performing at your best
-
when you know that any mistake could mean death
-
requires a certain kind of mindset.
-
(Laughter)
-
That's not supposed to be funny, but if it is, it is.
-
(Laughter)
-
I worked to cultivate that mindset through visualization,
-
which basically just means imagining the entire experience of soloing the wall.
-
Partially, that was to help me remember all the holds,
-
but mostly visualization was about feeling the texture
-
of each hold in my hand
-
and imagining the sensation of my leg reaching out and placing my foot just so.
-
I'd imagine it all like a choreographed dance thousands of feet up.
-
The most difficult part of the whole route was called the Boulder Problem.
-
It was about 2,000 feet off the ground
-
and consisted of the hardest physical moves on the whole route:
-
long pulls between poor handholds with very small, slippery feet.
-
This is what I mean by a poor handhold:
-
an edge smaller than the width of a pencil but facing downward
-
that I had to press up into with my thumb.
-
But that wasn't even the hardest part.
-
The crux culminated in a karate kick
-
with my left foot over to the inside of an adjacent corner,
-
a maneuver that required a high degree of precision and flexibility,
-
enough so that I'd been doing a nightly stretching routine
-
for a full year ahead of time
-
to make sure that I could comfortably make the reach with my leg.
-
As I practiced the moves,
-
my visualization turned to the emotional component
-
of a potential solo.
-
Basically, what if I got up there and it was too scary?
-
What if I was too tired?
-
What if I couldn't quite make the kick?
-
I had to consider every possibility while I was safely on the ground,
-
so that when the time came and I was actually making the moves without a rope,
-
there was no room for doubt to creep in.
-
Doubt is the precursor to fear,
-
and I knew that I couldn't experience my perfect moment if I was afraid.
-
I had to visualize and rehearse enough to remove all doubt.
-
But beyond that, I also visualized how it would feel
-
if it never seemed doable.
-
What if, after so much work, I was afraid to try?
-
What if I was wasting my time
-
and I would never feel comfortable in such an exposed position?
-
There were no easy answers,
-
but El Cap meant enough to me that I would put in the work and find out.
-
Some of my preparations were more mundane.
-
This is a photo of my friend Conrad Anker
-
climbing up the bottom of El Cap with an empty backpack.
-
We spent the day climbing together
-
to a specific crack in the middle of the wall
-
that was choked with loose rocks
-
that made that section difficult and potentially dangerous,
-
because any missed step might knock a rock to the ground
-
and kill a passing climber or hiker.
-
So we carefully removed the rocks, loaded them into the pack
-
and rappelled back down.
-
Take a second to imagine how ridiculous it feels
-
to climb 1,500 feet up a wall just to fill a backpack full of rocks.
-
(Laughter)
-
It's never that easy to carry a pack full of rocks around.
-
It's even harder on the side of a cliff.
-
It may have felt silly, but it still had to get done.
-
I needed everything to feel perfect
-
if I was ever going to climb the route without a rope.
-
After two seasons of working specifically toward a potential free solo of El Cap,
-
I finally finished all my preparations.
-
I knew every handhold and foothold on the whole route,
-
and I knew exactly what to do.
-
Basically, I was ready.
-
It was time to solo El Cap.
-
On June 3, 2017,
-
I woke up early, ate my usual breakfast of muesli and fruit
-
and made it to the base of the wall before sunrise.
-
I felt confident as I looked up the wall.
-
I felt even better as I started climbing.
-
About 500 feet up, I reached a slab
-
very similar to the one that had given me so much trouble on Half Dome,
-
but this time was different.
-
I'd scouted every option, including hundreds of feet of wall to either side.
-
I knew exactly what to do and how to do it.
-
I had no doubts. I just climbed right through.