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  • Dan: Hello and welcome to 6 Minute English. I'm Dan.

  • Rob: And hello, I'm Rob.

  • Dan: In today's programme we're going to

  • be looking at what our brains are doing

  • when we are using dating apps. Now, Rob,

  • have you ever used a dating app?

  • Rob: No way, I would never use one.

  • Dan: Hmm, so Rob, can you explain, when

  • talking about dating apps, what we mean

  • by swipe left and swipe right?

  • Rob: Ah, yes. These are not new words

  • but technology has given them new

  • meaning. 'To swipe' is the movement of

  • your finger on a smartphone to

  • change the screen you're looking at. So

  • imagine turning the page in a book, well,

  • on a phone, you swipe. In some dating

  • apps, they show you pictures of people

  • you might find attractive.

  • If you do like them, you swipe right. If you

  • don't like them, you swipe left.

  • Dan: We will dig deeper into this topic

  • shortly, but first, a question. In the UK,

  • approximately how many marriages start

  • with the couple meeting online? Is it:

  • a) One in three, b) One in four, or c) One in five.

  • What do you think?

  • Rob: Well, all of those seem quite high to me,

  • so I'm going to guess in the middle,

  • one in four.

  • Dan: Well, we'll find out if you're right later in the

  • programme. Now, Alice Gray is a

  • science communicator and blogger.

  • Recently she was a guest on BBC

  • Radio 4's Woman's Hour programme and

  • she was asked about what goes on in our

  • brains when we use dating apps

  • compared to when we meet

  • people in real life. What difference does

  • she say there is?

  • Alice Gray: It's very easy to think that just with

  • these instantaneous swipe left, swipe

  • right, that the process in our brain of how

  • we pick out a suitable mate would be very

  • different, when actually it's really similar

  • to how we do it in person.

  • Rob: So she says that what goes on in our

  • brains is actually very similar. Online we

  • make decisions very quickly about who

  • we like. These decisions are almost

  • immediate - she used the adjective

  • 'instantaneous' for this. So we make these

  • instantaneous decisions then choose to

  • swipe left or swipe right. In real life, we do

  • the same thing.

  • We know almost immediately when we

  • see someone, if we find them attractive or not.

  • Dan: Although of course in digital dating,

  • once you've swiped left you will never see

  • that person again and you won't have the

  • chance to meet. In the real world you

  • could meet someone you don't find

  • attractive instantaneously and then get to

  • know them and find that you do quite like them.

  • Rob: Yes, this is true, but then possibly

  • they won't like you. And then you have to

  • deal with rejection. Rejection is when

  • someone doesn't find you attractive and

  • they don't want to spend time with you or

  • get to know you.

  • Dan: So, what's the difference in our brains

  • between online rejection and real life

  • rejection? Here's Alice Gray again.

  • Alice Gray: We see that a lot of the

  • patterns associated with rejection in real

  • life and rejection on dating apps are

  • similar, it's just the exposure to the rate of the

  • amount of rejection you get on dating

  • apps is a lot higher than the ones in real

  • life. So in real life you'll have time to, sort

  • of, compute the rejection, get over it a

  • little bit, and dust yourself off and get on

  • with it. Whereas the rate of rejection

  • on dating apps is so high it's often hard

  • to cope with one coming in after another.

  • Rob: So, she says that our brain's response

  • to real life and online rejection is quite

  • similar, but in the digital world you can be

  • rejected many more times.

  • Dan: In real life you have a bit more time

  • to recover from the rejection, to get over it,

  • as she says. You can dust yourself off

  • which is a way of saying you think

  • positively to make yourself feel better.

  • Imagine falling over on the ground, when

  • you get up, you might be covered in dust

  • and dirt, you need to dust yourself off to

  • make yourself ready again, before you

  • carry on.

  • Rob: In the online world though, you don't

  • have that time. Online dating apps can

  • lead to many rejections and

  • psychologically that can be difficult to

  • manage. Another way of saying

  • 'difficult to manage' is 'difficult to cope with'.

  • Dan: Well, we don't want you to reject us,

  • so time now to give you the answer to

  • that quiz question before a recap of

  • today's vocabulary. I asked: in the UK,

  • approximately how many marriages

  • start with the couple meeting online? Is it:

  • a) One in three, b) One in four, or

  • c) One in five.

  • Rob: Hmmm, so I said b) one in four,

  • 25%. Was I right?

  • Dan: Sorry, Rob, the answer is a), one in

  • three. Does that surprise you?

  • Rob: Yes, it does, I didn't think it would be

  • that high.

  • Dan: It's the sign of the times, Rob. Digital

  • worlddigital dating! Let's have a look at

  • that vocabulary.

  • Rob: OK, well, we started with the verb 'to

  • swipe'. The movement of our finger on

  • a smartphone or tablet screen to indicate

  • whether we like someone or not. Swipe

  • right for like, swipe left if you don't like.

  • Dan: Our decisions on whether we find

  • someone attractive or not are often

  • instantaneous. This adjective means

  • 'immediate', 'at once'.

  • Rob: 'Rejection' is when you let someone

  • know that you are not interested in them,

  • you don't want to be romantically involved

  • with them.

  • Dan: If you are 'rejected' you might need

  • some time to feel better, and for this you

  • can use the phrasal verb 'get over'. It can

  • take some time to get over a rejection.

  • Rob: Yeah, I know! Now being positive and optimistic

  • after a rejection can be described as

  • 'dusting yourself off'. But, having many

  • rejections can be difficult to cope with,

  • which means it can be difficult to

  • manage, difficult to keep positive.

  • Dan: Well, we hope you don't swipe left on

  • this programme and you will join us again

  • next time. Remember you can find us on

  • Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube

  • and of course our website

  • bbclearningenglish.com.

  • Rob: And don't forget our new BBC

  • Learning English app.

  • Dan: Oh good idea. See you soon. Bye.

  • Rob: Bye bye!

Dan: Hello and welcome to 6 Minute English. I'm Dan.

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B1 UK rob rejection dan swipe dating apps dating

Dating apps: How our brains react

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    Samuel posted on 2018/09/18
Video vocabulary