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  • >> HELLO.

  • >> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

  • THE ALASKA AUGUST IN LA ME AND MY MOM GOT INTO AN ELEVATOR AND

  • TWO WOMEN STARTED LAUGHING AT ME, PROPER BIG, AND I SAID

  • MADAME WHACK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT.

  • AND THIS WOMAN LOOKED AT ME AND SAID SUGAR, HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD

  • YOU YOU LOOK LIKE ELLEN.

  • AND YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS LAUGHTER WAS BOUNCING, MY MOM

  • LOOKED, THEY GOT A POINT, RUSS.

  • YOU LACK LIKE A CHAMPLING LESBIAN.

  • IT GOT STRANGER.

  • WE GOT INTO THE HOTEL, THEY THOUGHT THAT ME AND MY MOM WERE

  • A COUPLE.

  • HE SHE PLAYED UP TO IT FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK.

  • OH, I'VE NEVER HAD SEX LAKE IT.

  • SHE CALLED ONE OF THE WAITERS I WAS A MALE PROSTITUTE THAT SHE

  • GOT CHEAP BECAUSE MY EYE PRTION LAZY.

  • IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

  • AND IT'S VITAL TO LAUGH, ISN'T IT, WHENEVER YOU CAN TBRAB JOY

  • GRAB IT BECAUSE THE WORLD IS DEPRESSING.

  • WE LIVE IN A WORLD FULL OF MORONS, IN ENGLAND IT IS IS

  • TRUE, WE NO LONGER SELL KROI SANS BECAUSE PEOPLE WENT TO THE

  • SUPERMARKET, COMPLAINING, THEY STARTED PUTTING JAM ON

  • CROISSANTS, SOME PEOPLE IN ENGLAND WERE DEFEATED BY BENZI

  • BREAD.

  • >> I'M IN THE A FAN, AY, I WAS GOING LIKE, THAT AND SUDDENLY

  • THERE WAS JAM ON THE TABLE, SO-- HOW CAN YOU.

  • >> HELP, IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.

  • >> HOW DO THEY EAT BANANAS.

  • >> WHERE IS IT GOING?

  • WHERE IS IT GOING SPH ANYWAY, THAT IS WHY BREXIT HAPPENED.

  • YEAH.

  • (APPLAUSE) AND IT'S A SHAME, MAN.

  • WE HAVE LEFT EUROPE, SWI A MISTAKE.

  • YOU CAN LEARN FROM OTHER CULTURES, I WAS IN SWEDEN LAST

  • YEAR, DO YOU KNOW THEY EAT DEER AN REINDEER.

  • I SAID TO THE WAITER WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE.

  • HE LOOKED AT ME, ONE IS RUDOLPH, IS OTHER IS BAM BY.

  • YOU MUST DECIDE WITHOUT YOU LOVE MORE.

  • >> I LOVE TRAVELING, YOU HE KNOW, IT'S WONDERFUL, I WAS IN

  • HONG KONG RECENTLY, DID A GIG.

  • TOLD MY MOM, SHE SAID OH, IN ENG ENGLISH, PROBABLY, WE HAVE KNOWN

  • EACH OTHER MANY YEARS.

  • >> WHAT HAPPENED ON THE FLIGHT ONE OF THOSES RARE MOMENTS YOU

  • FEEL GLAD TO BE ARRIVE.

  • ON THE PLANE, I HEARD THE VOICE IN THE SKY GO WILL YOU STOP

  • TOUCHING YOUR WILLIE.

  • I TURNED AROUND, FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT IT WAS GOD.

  • I LOOKED AROUND, THERES WITH A MOM KEL TELLING HER FOURIER

  • OLSON OFF, IT WAS SO FUNNY.

  • WILL YOU STOP TOUCHING YOUR WILTY.

  • THE LITTLE KID LOOKED AT HIS MOM, OH MUMMY.

  • I LOVE IT IT.

  • IT WAS THE MOST WONDERFUL, THAT LEVEL OF WISDOM YOU CAN'T DEAL

  • IT WITH, IF YOU HAD ONE OF THESE, MOM, YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE

  • THE DAMN THING ALONE.

  • I MISS MY CHILDHOOD, YOU KNOW, NOT ALL OF T I DON'T MISS,

  • REMEMBER THE HOURS WE SPENT PLAGUE THE RECORDER, HAVE YOU

  • EVER NEEDED THAT.

  • WILL I EVER NEED THIS.

  • YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN-- A-- OR SOLD IT OUT.

  • IN THE CORNER, OH, YEAH, DO YOU KNOW MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, YOU

  • KNOW I DO, BAB HEE.

  • BUT THAT OTHER CREEPY THINGS, THEY USED TO RUN AT YOU AT THE

  • PLAYGROUND, PICK A NUMBER, PUCK A COLOR, PICK A NUMBER.

  • >> WHAT VOO DO NONSENSE THIS IS.

  • >> NUMBER.

  • >> THREE, ONE, TWO, THREE.

  • >> COLOR.

  • >> RED.

  • >> R-E-D.

  • YOU'RE A DICK.

  • >> WHAT I DO SIS IS THE SILLINESS.

  • MY BROTHER WAS A WONDERFUL, HE WAS-- THIS IS HONESTLY TRUE,

  • WHENEVER HE WAS LITTLE, HAPPY, HE WOULD GET NAKED.

  • THAT WAS HIS THING.

  • I WISH HE STILL DID IT IT BUT DO YOU WANT SOME TOAST.

  • DO YOU WANT TO GO SWIMMING?

  • HE ONCE GOT NAKED IN A LIBRARY.

  • I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE EVER BEEN HAPPIER TO SEA MY LITTLE BROTHER

  • RUNNING AROUND, MY DAD TRIED TO CHASE HIM.

  • IT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE TO QUOTE PIE DAD T IS PHYSICALLY

  • IMPOSSIBLE FOR A GREEN MAN TO CHASE A NAKED CHILD WITHOUT

  • LOOKING UNBELIEVE PLEE DODGY.

  • THINK ABOUT T THE ONLY WORDS YOU HAVE TO CALM STRANGERS DOWN ARE,

  • HE'S MINE.

  • WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY, AMERICA, IN THESE DARK AND

  • DEPRESSING TIMES, IT'S GOOD TO LAUGH AND GOOD TO BE SILLY.

  • WE'RE ALL DAFT SOMETIMES, I BET YOU MONEY, EVEN THE QUEEN OF

  • ENGLAND PULLS UP HER BED COVERS AND JUST GOES PHILIP, LOOK AT HE

  • ME, I'M A STAMP.

  • AND I LIKE TO THINK PHILIP LOOKS BACK AND JUST GOES-- THANK YOU

  • SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME.

>> HELLO.

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A2 UK TheLateLateShow mom looked naked pick number england

Russell Howard Stand-Up

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    827535785 posted on 2018/09/08
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