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And now I thought I'd share some of my favorite
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"How I Got Dumped" stories from you guys.
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Here we go. This first one's from @kyleosmon.
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He said...
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A girl in middle school cancelled our movie date over voicemail.
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My parents heard the message before I did and woke me up to tell me. So essentially my parents broke up with me.
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It's like, "What's going on?"
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Wake up!
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This ones from @ItsNotTheFall.
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"It's not the fall"?
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Is that a famous thing?
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It's not, it's not the fall.
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Talking about seasons?
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It's not the fall that hurts...
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The coffee? The bunk?
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The rehab?
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I'm thinking skiing. I'm thinking skiing.
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Oh, I was thinking falling from grace, yeah.
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Oh, you were thinking fall from grace.
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Yeah, like, you know, you hit rock bottom,
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you have to go to rehab. Something like that, whatever.
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-Everything okay, man?
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I'm sleeping on my couch in the office.
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We'll talk about this later. We shouldn't say this --
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shouldn't do it on national television.
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This is from @ItsNotTheFall.
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She says..
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I was waiting for my boyfriend at a restaurant when the waiter came and removed the other chair and place setting.
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He said they'd received a phone call and I no longer needed the other setting.
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-Oh, come on! -It's not the fall.
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-Yeah, not the fall. -Holy moly.
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If that ever happened... Wow, wow, wow.
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This one's from @notglue.
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-Not the fall and not glue.
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-Not glue. -That's not glue, dude.
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Andrew Karn.
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He says...
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My girlfriend had a dream she was getting mugged and I wasn't helping her.
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She woke up and broke up with me for not defending her...in her dream.
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-"I had nothing to do --" -There's other stuff going on.
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-This one's from @matadorchick.
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-Ooh. Nice. No bull.
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-She likes matadors. -Yeah.
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-She says...
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After a fight, my boyfriend threw up his hands and said, "Well folks, that's the ball game."
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What?
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That's it.
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Well, folks, that's the ball game.
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Lates.
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This one's from @Ash10G.
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She says...
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My boyfriend told me he "doesn't have the work ethic" to keep me happy.
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-This last one's from @kalsimanmeet.
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He says...
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My girlfriend asked me how to block someone on WhatsApp.
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After I sent the last piece of the instructions, I noticed I wasn't able to send her messages anymore.
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There you have it!
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Those are our "Tonight Show Hashtags."
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To check out more of our favorites
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go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.