Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles Whatever you do, don't be rude to the people handling your food because you might find a pubic hair in your burger. (upbeat music) How do you get something for free? B.Y.O.B. bring your own bug. (chuckles) Complain, first off, but you don't even have to complain that much, you don't even have to make a scene. Open the package and take one bite of the food and then return it and they can't take it back over the counter most of the time, so you're just gonna get free food that way. Some of the managers at some of the spots, sometimes they have coupons that they have in their back pocket and they give out whenever they feel like they're in good spirits. So if you see a manager when you walk into a spot, be nice. What time is best to order food? The best time to order food is right when they open. Breakfast, you wanna order it as early as possible. If you get breakfast towards like the end of the breakfast time, you're getting the worst, oldest, stalest, grossest eggs ever, you're getting them nasty. If you're gonna be buying food for lunch or dinner, you wanna do that outside of the rush hour because the rush hour is when we don't pay attention to the quality of the food. Do ice cream machines really break? All the time. They are the worst machines ever made. They get jammed, nobody likes them. We hate that you buy ice cream. Sometimes like we don't have people who either don't know how to use the machine. Sometimes people are just lazy and don't feel like walking over to the machine and they'll lie and say it's broke. Are you told to fill cups with ice on purpose or not fill up cartons with fries to the top? We're gonna fill up a lot of ice in that cup because you're gonna get less soda. If you're gonna go to a place, go to one where you can get your own soda out of the machine because that's the only way to cheat the system on that. For fries, if we haven't made a new batch and it's like the scraps of the last batch, we'll just try to get what's last in there. We always, always, always didn't fill them to the top. We did that on purpose. If we ever did it, we got in trouble. Our boss did not like that. What are the consequences if you put soda in a free water cup? Diabetes? (chuckles) You get arrested immediately. (siren wails) No, I'm kidding. They don't do anything at all. Don't do the brown sodas because that it doesn't look as conspicuous. If there's a manager standing by you, maybe they might call you out and you might get a little shamed, a water cup shaming. Are the employees must wash hand sign more of a reminder for you or to make customers feel better? It's for all of us. We shouldn't have to remind you as adults to wash your hands, but we all should just wash our hands. They think that sign is just gonna throw it out there and make the customers immediately think oh, of course they're washing their hands, they're so hygienic. Yeah, that's not always the case. There are some people that might not wash their hands because they wear gloves and might just put on gloves on top of their dirty hands like oh, what do I need to wash my hands for? You idiot, you just put on gloves with your dirty hands. So if you ever see anybody handle your food, make sure that they're wearing gloves every single time. I'm not gonna tell you why, I'm just gonna say make sure they're wearing gloves. Are names misleading? Does fresh always mean fresh? (laughs) I plead the fifth on that question. Names being misleading, yeah. There's a lot of fake lines that are put on those burgers to think that they're going through a flame, they're not, there's no fire that touches those things. Have you ever created your own secret menu, what was it? If you're lactose intolerant like me and you don't want cheese on your baked potato, barbecue sauce is the way to go. It's like a big, giant barbecue potato chip. I would always get the ice cream concoctions. I would throw salty stuff in it like fries because I'm fat and customers saw that I made that and they wanted it but we couldn't make it for them because it wasn't actually on the menu. You just get creative, you mix some spicy with some sweet, some hot with some cold, just see what you can come up with. The combinations are endless. What's the most annoying thing you get asked daily? How many patties are on a double cheeseburger? (crickets chirp) Ordering on the phone is annoying because either you're trying to talk to me or you're trying to talk to the other person. You know they're from Canada when they want mayo for their fries, that's disgusting. Be nice to the people that are making your food. Got it, one more time for the people in the back, be nice to the people that are making your food because they're making your food, dude, like seriously, and you're not sitting there watching what they're doing.