Get a dictionary!

Ah right, so, quick intro for y'all.

First off, I got rid of my microphone right now because I wanna take a survey.

I wanna see which one should I use.

Should I use this mic, or the one I used last one?

I'm gonna do this 50 dumbest laws.

Now the 50 states – the dumbest laws in 50 states.

Why is that so hard?!

The last one, I don't think I did all 50 states.

But this one, I have living proof, it's all 50 states!

So if your state is called,

make sure you comment down below so you can confirm or deny these claims.

Ah right.

In Alabama, bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

Are we still doing this?!

Who ...

wrestles ...

bears?!

You must have windshield wipers on your car.

You may not have an ice-cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

Who is smuggling ice cream cones in Alabama?!

It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on the street for fear of spooking horses.

It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday!

What are y'all doin' with peanuts?!

Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death!

Whoo –

Who thinks of going to a railroad track and saying,

"You know what? I need to put salt on this thing"?

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind!

Ah right, Alaska, here we go.

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane!

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane!

In Arizona, man, it is hot in Arizona.

I'm getting hot even thinking about Arizona right now!

Hunting camels is prohibited?!

Y'all have camels?!

There is a possible 25 years of prison for cutting down a cactus.

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar,

you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person possesses!

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water!

I'm tellin' you – I told you – cuz it's hot.

You may not have more than two dildos in a house!

In Arkinsass, it's strictly prohibited to pronounce Arkansas incorrectly.

The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street Bridge in Little Rock.

So you're gonna arrest the Arkansas River man?

The law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

Lord, I thought they were talking about something else.

A man can legally beat his wife but not more than once a month.

Oh my God!

What kind of?!

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.

California prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates.

[indistinct], so you're gonna lock them up again?!

It's unlawful to let a dog pursue a bear or bobcat at any time.

Man, I wish my dog would.

Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

Women may not drive in a house coat!

My lawd, y'all are –

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 –

I'm sorry.

I'm just imagining an animal getting arrested.

Ah right, Cash, let me tell you something.

When we go to California to VidCon, you will not mate with anyone!

Ah right?

I will not mate with any animals.

But I will lick.

Colorado.

Whoo!

I'm glad we're in Colorado, man, because it is hot up in here.

It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.

I did not know Colorado had horses to be honest.

Tags maybe ripped off of pillows and mattresses.

Am I'm the only one that does not understand

why they made it a law for us not to rip it off?

Thought I was gonna be arrested when I removed that thing from the pillow.

In Connecticut, you can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour?!

How fast can you go on a bike?!

In Delaware, one may not lay down on the beach at night

and persons may not change clothes in their car.

I've done broke every rule in this book!

In Florida, one may not commit any unnatural acts with another person.

I know a few convicts –

It is illegal to sell your children!

You may not kiss your wife's breasts!

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging?!

Y'all didn't repeal that?!

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

Oh, in Georgia, all sex toys are banned!

I repeat!

All sex toys are banned!

Signs are required to be written in English

and no one may carry an ice cream cone in the back –

Didn't we just go through this?!

In Hawaii, coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.

That was my first magic trick I ever learned!

My uncle would've got got!

In Idaho, it's illegal for –

I know we're gonna read about potatoes.

I just know it.

It's illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than 50 pounds.

If – I'm just gonna say this.

If you give me 50 pounds worth of chocolate,

I am yours forever.

It is against the law to have sex with a corpse in Illinois.

In Indiana, waitresses may not carry drinks into a restaurant or bar.

It's also illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

Man, I'm gonna start going to Indiana.

I'm gonna do some citizen's arrests.

In Iowa, one-armed piano players must perform for free.

Y'all wrong as hell!

Kisses may last for no more than five minutes?!

Man, if y'all kissing for more than five minutes,

y'all might as well just do the do.

If two trains meet on the same track,

Oh Lord, I feel –

I had a flashback of me in high school.

If two trains meet on the same track,

neither shall proceed until the other has passed.

And it is also illegal to spit on a sidewalk!

Lawd, I woulda got 10 to 20 on that.

In Kentucky, dogs may not molest cars!

One may not receive anal sex!

What?!

In Louisiana, fake wrestling matches are prohibited.

Y'all –

y'all just opened a whole can of whoop-ass!

In Maine, you may not step out of a plane in flight!

Y'all should get arrested for that, dumbass!

In Maryland, it is illegal to take a lion to the movies!

In Massachusetts, snoring is prohibited

unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

In Michigan, it is legal for robber to file a lawsuit if he or she got hurt in your house.

In Minnesota, it is illegal to sleep naked.

A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.

Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.

What kind of animal –

Why do y'all have animals on your head in the first place?

In Mississippi, it is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.

I don't – I don't know what that means.

In Missouri, frightening a baby is in violation of the law.

In Montana, hard objects may not be thrown by hand!

And worrying squirrels will not be tolerated!

In Nebraska, it's illegal to fly a plane while drunk.

I know a few pilots –

If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.

Man, y'all better arrest that child!

That's not our fault!

And in Nebraska, doughnut holes may not be sold.

What did doughnut holes do to y'all?!

Barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7 –

I can just imagine.

Do I smell onion, man?

Man, y'all, that's illegal over here!

If I smell onion on his breath, I'm going home!

In Nevada, it is illegal to drive a camel on the highway

and it's still legal to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.

Hang?!

In New Hampshire you may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or café.

Man.

And in White Mountain National, if a person is caught raking the beaches,

picking up litter, hauling away trash, building a bench for the park, or many other kind things without a permit,

he or she may be fined $150 for maintaining the national forest without a permit.

I'm telling y'all, y'all are wrong!

These people are trying to clean up the environment!

In New Jersey, drivers must warn those who they pass on highways before they do so

and you cannot pump your own gas!

It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season!

I can't knit a sweater for my nephew?!

[indistinct]

In New Mexico, nudity is allowed provided that male genitals are covered.

Idiots may not vote.

Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered.

Man, we can't show balls or nipples?!

Man, y'all – y'all need to have some fun.

In New York, adultery is still a crime.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

And the penalty for jumping off a building is death!

So you're gonna kill me twice!

And while riding in an elevator,

one must talk to no one and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

Ah right.

Follow me in North Carolina.

I cannot wait to debunk some of these rules.

Over here, it is a felony to steal more than $1,000 of grease.

I can't –

I can't confirm or deny that

because $1,000 grease is the last thing on my mind!

The mere possession of a lottery ticket

is illegal in North Carolina and may result in a $2,000 fine.

Y'all, I have plenty of lottery tickets.

I gotta get out of here.

It's against the law to sing off key!

Y'all!

Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields!

One thing we don't have is elephants!

It is illegal to have sex in a churchyard.

Oh.

I have five people on deck.

If there was a reward for 'em, I would turn them in like that.

Bingo games may not last over five hours –

Y'all!

– unless it is held at a fair.

My mom is getting arrested!

Mom, how long do you be playing bingo?

- I stay up two to two.

- Two to two.

In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk.

I done heard it all!

In Oklahoma, one may not promote a horse tripping event.

We trippin' horses now?!

It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.

And people who make ugly faces at dogs may be fined in Georgia.

In Oregon, one may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on the highway.

Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car!

Y'all – y'all are just –

Are y'all bored or something?

It is illegal to whisper dirty things in your lover's ear during sex!

Ice-cream may not be eaten on Sundays!

In Pennsylvania, you may not catch your fish by any body part except the mouth!

You want me to catch a fish by the mouth?!

In Rhode Island, no one may bite off another's leg!

It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

In South Carolina, no work may be done on Sunday.

Hallelujah!

Horses may not be kept in bathtubs,

and a railroad may not remove itself from a town of more than 500 people.

Railroads are walking away now?!

In South Dakota, it is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

And if there are more than five Native Americans on your property,

you may shoot them.

Oh, what – what?

Y'all.

I've gotta get out of here.

In Tennessee, students may not hold hands while at school,

and it is a crime to share your Netflix password.

I'm sorry, man.

Any person who participates in a duel may not hold any public office in the state.

They're probably dead!

When was the last time someone held a duel?!

Oh, but hold up, y'all.

It is legal to gather and consume roadkill.

In Texas, ah right, it is illegal to sell one's eye.

It's illegal to milk another person's cow.

And it is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

Who makes up these laws?!