Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • I really want to go to space

  • So I made my own

  • Astronaut training program because nobody else would have me. I'm like a pet up for adoption, and I just decided to adopt myself.

  • I've already made sure that I won't throw up, and I won't go crazy in confined spaces.

  • But there's still this thing weighing me down. The biggest downer on Planet Earth,

  • freaking gravity.

  • [Music]

  • [Music]

  • [Music]

  • So we've rented a sensory deprivation tank. Basically it's this pod filled with a thousand pounds of Epsom salts so

  • you can float in it and experience what it's like to be weightless. You ready for this?

  • My jump suit game is like an onion. This is like layers upon layers.

  • [Music]

  • I think that this is the closest I've ever been to climbing back into my mom's uterus.

  • [Music]

  • This is so weird.

  • I don't dare to put my head down.

  • I kinda want that neck noodle.

  • [Music]

  • It kind of makes my fifi hurt.

  • TMI, sorry.

  • Donald Trump is president, and I'm opting out. #SpaceWomb. I mean #SendSimoneToSpace.

  • [Music]

  • This is way too relaxing to be space.

  • I need something more.

  • [Engine revving]

  • So we went to San Jose because I got a ticket to the vomit comet. I had to get up at 6am

  • So I was fucking excited. A zero g flight is an airplane that does parabolas,

  • So it goes up really fast and then down really fast so get you get to experience what it's like to be weightless

  • I was really freaking nervous about it because a lot of people do throw up, and if you do throw up you have to get

  • back in your seat for the rest of the flight. So basically it'd be the most expensive vomit of your life.

  • Unless you like, threw up into somebody's Gucci bag.

  • For each parabola you get about 30 seconds of weightlessness, and we did 15 of them.

  • So I got about seven and a half minutes of glorious weightlessness. So without further ado,

  • here's some footage for me having the freaking time of my life.

  • [Worker] 3, 2, 1. Here we go. No kicking! No kicking!

  • [Music]

  • [Worker] Feet down! Feet down!

  • Ahhh

  • [Worker] That was a quick one.

  • So I was supposed to narrate this as it went, but I could get no intelligent commentary out of myself.

  • I have no idea what to say!

  • [Worker] Feet down! Feet down!

  • Yeah, that's about it. As the airplane is going up you're laying down on your back and first you're getting heavier and heavier and heavier.

  • But then you're getting lighter and lighter and lighter until you just float up.

  • It was really like flying, and your body doesn't really know what to do. Like your instinct is to just pedal which is

  • terribly ineffective.

  • [Music]

  • Oh my god!

  • [Music]

  • [Joyful screaming]

  • Ha Ha

  • They threw up some water and we got to catch some candy.

  • [Music]

  • I feel like fucking, Pac-man.

  • [Music]

  • [Video game noise]

  • [Music]

  • So yeah here we are. Also

  • I cut my hair because I felt that I wanted to look even more like one of the Hanson brothers.

  • Mmm bop motherfuckers. So going on the zero g flight was

  • huge. Like I've been wanting to do it for such a long time.

  • And it was the wildest thing I've ever done. Like it was it was like nothing

  • I've ever experienced before. And also this is the last episode of DIY astronaut

  • Thank you so much to Google's Making & Science Team for giving me a budget for this project.

  • But now I've run out of money. So we're back to filming on my iPhone. How's this level of production value for you?

  • Get used to it! Get used to it! Also huge thanks to Adam Isaak who helped film and edit

  • DIY astronaut and Scott Laurie who produced it and did production coordination.

  • They were the best paid friends a woman could have. By the way I set up a store and now you can buy the

  • asstronaut T-shirt.

  • So if you feel like you want to look both

  • offensive and stupid at the same time just click on the link in the description and get one of these beauties.

  • It's a solid t-shirt, and I don't know about you, but I feel fully ready to go to space so Richard Branson,

  • I'm just waiting for you to call me.

  • (Call me) It might go faster if we all tweet him. Shameless plug!

  • I have no shame in my space game. Send Simone to space! Not Simone Biles.

  • I mean, she seems nice and all, but yeah, Simone Giertz. Whatever. Simone dry heave. Simone queef on a yoga ball.

  • Simone can't pronounce yacht, that girl me. I mean otherwise

  • I'll just have to build myself a rocket.

  • And I don't think any of us wants me to do that. It'd make for an interesting

  • tombstone though, so that's something. Anyway check out the DIY asstronaut t-shirt, and I'll talk to you soon.

  • Thanks for watching DIY astronaut. I had so much fun!

  • Oh gosh, you're gonna hate me.

  • [Music]

I really want to go to space

Subtitles and vocabulary

Operation of videos Adjust the video here to display the subtitles

B1 US simone music astronaut diy worker heavier

I got to be weightless for 7.5 minutes

  • 161 8
    Samuel posted on 2018/06/03
Video vocabulary