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  • LOTS OF BIG NEWS OUT OF WASHINGTON TODAY.

  • THE NEW YORK TIMES IS REPORTING THAT DONALD TRUMP IS

  • EXPECTED TO FIRE HIS SECRETARY OF STATE REX TILLERSON IN THE

  • COMING WEEKS.

  • OR AS REX TILLERSON IS CALLING IT, A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE.

  • (LAUGHTER) >> James: HONESTLY, TILLERSON

  • SAYS HE'S NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO THE RUMORS.

  • AND AS THE FORMER HEAD OF EXXON-MOBIL, HE'S USED TO

  • IGNORING LOTS OF LEAKS.

  • (APPLAUSE) >> James: HE CAN'T STOP THEM

  • I'M SORRY!

  • (APPLAUSE) >> James: IT'S NOT REALLY

  • SURPRISING THAT TRUMP WOULD FIRE TILLERSON.

  • IF YOU REMEMBER, REX TILLERSON, OVER THE SUMMER, REPORTEDLY

  • CALLED TRUMP A, AND I QUOTE, A (BLEEP) MORON.

  • I DON'T HAVE A JOKE HERE, I JUST WANTED TO RELIVE THAT FOND

  • MEMORY.

  • MEANWHILE, THE CO-AUTHOR OF DONALD TRUMP'S BOOK, "THE ART OF

  • THE DEAL," SAYS THAT ACCORDING TO TWO SECRET SOURCES, WHITE

  • HOUSE STAFFERS ARE STARTING TO EXPRESS CONCERN OVER THE

  • PRESIDENT'S MENTAL HEALTH.

  • WOW, THAT'S SOME GREAT INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM RIGHT

  • THERE.

  • OR HE COULD HAVE JUST CHECKED TWITTER!

  • (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) >> James: HERE'S THE THING.

  • THEY'RE NOT ONLY WORRIED ABOUT TRUMP'S MENTAL

  • HEALTH, BUT THERE'S ALSO CONCERN ABOUT DONALD TRUMP'S PHYSICAL

  • HEALTH.

  • [ Laughter ] >> James: I DON'T HAVE A

  • BETTER PUNCH LINE FOR THAT JOKE.

  • THAT SOMEONE SAYING THEY'RE WORRIED ABOUT HIS PHYSICAL SELF.

  • YEAH, THEY'RE WORRIED HE MIGHT LAST A FULL TERM!

  • (LAUGHTER) >> James: I WISH I COULD HAVE

  • SEEN THE FACE TRUMP MADE WHEN HE HEARD

  • PEOPLE WERE SAYING HE'S CRAZY.

  • IT WAS PROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE THIS:

  • YEAH, COMPLETELY SANE, COMPLETELY SANE.

  • MOVING ON.

  • ANYONE HERE HAVE PLANS TO TRAVEL OVER THE HOLIDAYS?

  • (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) >> James: WELL, YOU MIGHT

  • HAVE TO CHECK YOUR FLIGHTS BECAUSE AMERICAN

  • AIRLINES JUST EXPERIENCED A COMPUTER GLITCH THAT HAS ALLOWED

  • ALL THEIR PILOTS TO TAKE VACATION AT THE SAME TIME,

  • MEANING THAT THOUSANDS OF FLIGHTS IN DECEMBER HAVE NO ONE

  • TO FLY THEM.

  • THIS IS ALL PART OF AMERICAN AIRLINES' NEW CAMPAIGN TO MAKE

  • THE REST OF THEIR SERVICES SEEM LESS AWFUL.

  • "OKAY, FINE.

  • I'LL PAY EXTRA FOR MY BAGS, BUT ONLY IF I GET A PILOT."

  • THIS COMPUTER GLITCH COULD REALLY SCREW THINGS UP FOR

  • PEOPLE FLYING ON CHRISTMAS.

  • IT LIST GAVE TIME OFF TO 15,000 PILOTS AND EIGHT TINY REINDEER.

  • (APPLAUSE) >> James: COME ON!

  • EVEN IF THEY DO FIX THIS, WHO WANTS A PILOT THAT JUST GOT

  • THEIR VACATION FORCIBLY TAKEN AWAY?

  • "THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.

  • STRAP IN, BITCHES.

  • IT'S GONNA BE A BUMPY RIDE!" AND FINALLY, THIS WAS AN

  • INTERESTING STORY OUT OF THE WORLD OF SCIENCE.

  • HAVE YOU GUYS HEARD ABOUT THIS ROBOT SOPHIA?

  • HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ROBOT?

  • SHE'S ONE OF THE WORLD'S MOST ADVANCED ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE

  • ANDROIDS.

  • WELL, RECENTLY SHE ANNOUNCED, ON HER OWN, THAT SHE WANTS TO HAVE

  • A BABY.

  • THAT MAY SEEM WEIRD, BUT I BET SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S TALKING

  • ABOUT.

  • HER BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS AN ACTUAL CLOCK.

  • IF THIS HAPPENS, IT'S GONNA BE A HUGE BLOW TO SINGLE WOMEN WITH

  • OVERBEARING MOTHERS OUT THERE.

  • "SO, I SEE ROBOTS ARE HAVING BABIES BEFORE YOU."

  • CAN WE SEE A PICTURE OF SOPHIA AGAIN?

  • SHE WANTS TO HAVE A BABY?

  • I DON'T KNOW.

  • I THINK SHE SHOULD WANT THE BACK OF HER HEAD TO BE FINISHED

  • FIRST.

  • LET'S COMPLETE THE ADULT ROBOTS BEFORE WE START MAKING BABY

  • ROBOTS.

  • NOW THAT THIS NEWS HAS BROKEN, I UNDERSTAND SOPHIA ALREADY HAS

  • SEVERAL POTENTIAL DONORS LINING UP.

LOTS OF BIG NEWS OUT OF WASHINGTON TODAY.

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Robot Wants A Baby

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    phoebe2345 posted on 2018/04/21
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