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Hey guys , today i'll be sharing with you
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some lessons i've learned through my porn recovery journey and hopefully
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get some value out of it . let's start by understanding this bad habit
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charles duhigg explains that a habit consists of three main components:
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1)Trigger 2)Routine and finally the reward. for porn users the triggers are pretty obvious
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it's a time of the day , someday in the weekend or when you're experiencing a general
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feeling of boredom and stress . The routine is the habit itself you see
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the trigger and BAM! your brain goes on autopilot anticipating a reward which is
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orgasm .. now this is the cycle that you want to break free from right ? Charles says that
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To change a habit you have to Keep the routine and the triggers the same
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Only change the routine .. Now this is possible for most habits but for porn users
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it's not that practical , if I were to change the routine to reading books for example
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am not going to get orgasm out of that (laughs) .
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i was tracking down several triggers to find out where do these urges actually come from
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I discovered that the problem was not only the habit itself
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The problem is in the habits that are interwoven with it .. like to call these
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'Micro Habits' these micro habits are executed unconsciously and triggered
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Because Of a lack in basic human needs like socializing or more importantly
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A lack of feminine energy in your life
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here's an example for 'micro habits' : so i'd be surfing the internet calmly
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Then i began to feel lonely and bored(trigger).. i go on Facebook (routine) i get my (reward)
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wich is : a relief from stress . this is a micro habit .
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the question is : how does this relate to porn ? well your intention was to go
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chat for a little bit right ? but let's be honest here(laughs) as a former Porn user myself
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when they i a hot model's picture on facebook my craving brain
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will make me react automatically by clicking on it .
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of course you can still argue that this doesn't count as Porn !
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But what you're not aware of.. is that your brain is producing little shots of dopamine
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Here and there from these micro habits and that's how you get cravings for porn .
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i describe 'micro habits' as : passive comsumption you're not actually exposed
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to porn directly but you're getting little shots of dopamine from these bikini
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thumbnails on youtube , or even a simple kissing scene in your favorite movie .
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here's what happens from there : visualization kicks in .
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you start fantasizing .. this is why you go on Facebook and ten minutes later you find
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yourself on a porn site . now I want to point out that I am NOT against using
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any social media platform ! you're free to do whatever you want , I'm just sharing
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out my personal experience here . we arrived at the interesting part now
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The solution . the solution is pretty simple if we cannot change the macro habit
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we'll try to replace the micro habits .
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this is not a quick fix or a magic pill but rather things i've tried personally
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So here's what I did it : i took the routine for every single micro habits
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and replaced it , with flow state activities , why ? because the only thing
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that could produce huge amounts of dopamine like orgasm
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is a flow state so I replaced the old routines with flow state activities
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And with time , i got addicted on flow rather than watching junk porn on my computer
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By doing what i did you will not only reduce your exposure to porn
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you're going to be building a lot of will Power :)