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  • It's hard work and you still have to do it

  • all with a smile on your face.

  • I like the fast-paced environment.

  • Before I bring anything to the table, it needs to be perfect.

  • There's never dull moment.

  • Very physical, very raw.

  • There's never enough money.

  • I'll just say that. There's never enough money.

  • Three-fourths of my yearly income come from tips.

  • I make $2.65 an hour.

  • In New Jersey, I was making $2.13 an hour.

  • $2.13 an hour.

  • $2.13.

  • So I don't really per se live off of paychecks as much

  • as I do tips.

  • I think tipping is great for economy and small businesses.

  • You walk out with cash.

  • But if we don't smile, if we don't look cute...

  • we don't make good tips.

  • You hope you do good enough to get at least 10 percent.

  • It's always true when you really need money,

  • you're disenfranchised .

  • With men, you have to kind of be careful.

  • You can't be too sweet. you can't be too, you know, serious.

  • He was flirting with me heavily and he racked up

  • about a $70 tab.

  • And when I turned him down for dinner and drinks,

  • he wrote a zero in the tip line.

  • He grabbed me, pulled me by my waist

  • and started trying to kiss me on my neck and stuff.

  • And I'm pushing him away.

  • But he kept talking about

  • wanting to bend me over and spank me.

  • He looked at me and said, "Would you ride me like a pony?”

  • “I've never been with a black girl.”

  • I felt a hand go underneath my dress.

  • He was asking me where I live.

  • I screamed to my manager, who

  • who happened to be there,

  • Hey, that guy just touched me.

  • Nothing happened.

  • Sex does sell.

  • You have to balance it out,

  • but still try to keep your dignity.

  • Most of my day is geared towardshow is

  • a man going to feel about me?

  • How can I maximize tips without feeling

  • overly sexualized? Between the hair and the makeup

  • and how much cleavage do I want to show today?

  • You don't want to look too sexy, but you don't also

  • want to look sexless.

  • And you must always be aware of the balance.

  • It's a very thin line. Yep.

  • You know I'll put up with some stuff

  • to get the tip.

  • You know the little, "Ah, you're so funny."

  • That might be an extra $5 right there.

  • Do I like doing that?

  • No.

  • At my job, I'm at now,

  • this whole thing is going on, the #MeToo movement.

  • And I actually heard a guy say, "I don't

  • understand what the problem is.

  • Everybody wants sex.

  • Everybody's got to have sex.

  • What's the problem with this?"

  • I had one guy, while I was trying to lock up, come in

  • and say, "Well, are you here by yourself?"

  • And I'm like, "no, no, no.

  • My cooks are in the back."

  • He said, "No, I've been watching you. There's no one here."

  • That's when I went and got just a little .38 Special revolver

  • that I kept in my purse when I closed.

  • Well, it was my last table.

  • I did all my side work and I was getting ready to go.

  • And I was leaving at the same time he was.

  • We got to my car.

  • And I said, "Thank you so much.

  • You were so great.

  • And I appreciate it."

  • And I go to reach for my door and he blocks my door shut.

  • And it was terrifying.

  • You know and it's not just that you feel frightened.

  • You feel embarrassed.

  • It's awful.

  • It's degrading, it's disgusting.

  • And it made me angry.

  • On one hand, this guy just violated me.

  • And on the other hand , I needed the $20 tip.

  • You have to fight for your tips because you can't just say,

  • No, don't.

  • I had really, really had it.

  • And I wanted to say

  • I shouldn't have

  • to take home less to my child because some guy wasn't

  • into me that day.

  • Smiling isn't consent.

  • Don't touch me.

  • Don't touch me.

  • Don't touch me.

  • No one needs to touch each other.

  • If I wanted to get hit on, I'd be on the other side of the bar.

  • Yeah.

It's hard work and you still have to do it

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A2 BEG US guy sex touch tip hour smile

How Tipping Hurts Women | NYT

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    Samuel   posted on 2018/03/21
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