Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles DUNKEY: Come on, man. It's the very first level. JESSE: Oh shit. DUNKEY: It's the easiest one. JESSE: I don't want to get crushed. JESSE: Come on. DUNKEY: It's the first level! JESSE: [Frustrated] NOOO! JESSE: I play with a keyboard; it's really hard. DUNKEY: There you go, there you go. DUNKEY: Fuck this. [Dunkey laughing] JESSE: WHAT?! [continued laughter] DUNKEY: BONK! [even more laughing] DUNKEY: BANK! [too much laughing] JESSE: This is fucking bullshit. JESSE: Fucking LET ME OUT! [laughing] JESSE: Are you fucking kidding me? DUNKEY: Jesse just quit out. SKY: Why? DUNKEY: I don't know, I was helping him win and he just, he quit. SKY: Did he get mad? [Dunkey laughing] JESSE: Can you fucking stop?! DUNKEY: I won't do it again. I won't do it again. DUNKEY: Ha! [Dunkey laughing] DUNKEY: All right, all right, I'll stop. DUNKEY: You want me to stop? JESSE: Yeah. DUNKEY: OK. DUNKEY: Too bad. JESSE: OHH MY GOD [Dunkey laughing] DUNKEY: One second, man. Leah wants to play, OK? [Leah and Dunkey laughing hysterically] JESSE: Can you fucking stop? DUNKEY: [whispering] Wait for Jesse to beat the whole thing, then jump on his head, OK? LEAH: [whispering] OK. [muffled laughing] JESSE: I can hear what you guys are saying. SKY: God dammit, Jason. SKY: Just beat the level. DUNKEY: C'mon man. DUNKEY: If I beat the level, what do you learn by that? You know? SKY: Oh my god, it's been so long! DUNKEY: It's only been two and a half hours. DUNKEY: On this specific level. DUNKEY: You got this, c'mon. DUNKEY: You almost got it. DUNKEY: There you go. DUNKEY: Here, let me show you how to do it. Let me show you. [Dunkey laughing] SKY: Beat the fucking level, or so help me god. DUNKEY: C'mon, you got this. JESSE: Come the fuck on, dude. DUNKEY: You got this. DUNKEY: Come on. DUNKEY: You know how to do that. DUNKEY: There you go - DUNKEY: Ooh, there you go, c'mon - DUNKEY: You got this! DUNKEY: Oh, look at you! You did it! DUNKEY: You did it. DUNKEY: There you go - DUNKEY: You're fucking garbage. DUNKEY: You're fucking - JESSE: Shut the fuck up! JESSE: All right, I know what to do for the blade now. JESSE: See? Watch. JESSE: If I start this time, it goes across... JESSE: OK - JESSE: OK! JESSE: You see? All, right I'm starting to get it. DUNKEY: You see? DUNKEY: Now you're starting to get it. DUNKEY: There you go. DUNKEY: Now you got it. DUNKEY: Ah, there you go. DUNKEY: What are you doing?! DUNKEY: C'mon! JESSE: I'm trying! DUNKEY: What are you even... DUNKEY: You're just dying to the first thing! JESSE: Can you just fucking go right?! DUNKEY: You almost have it. I swear to god. DUNKEY: You're so close. JESSE: Oh my gooooood. DUNKEY: Just c'mon. SKY: Oh - SKY: Oh! SKY: WINWINWINWINWINWINWIN SKY: JASON SKY: Jason. SKY:What SKY: The fuck?! SKY: GOD. SKY: Stop! SKY: Nooooo! SKY: Jason! SKY: Fuck you. JESSE: All right, c'mon. DUNKEY: Turbo mode: DUNKEY: Activate. DUNKEY: Here I go. [exciting music playing] DUNKEY: I'm coming. DUNKEY: Engage turbo thrusters. JESSE: Come the fuck on! DUNKEY: Jet mode enabled. JESSE: All right, c'mon. DUNKEY: Here I go. DUNKEY: Mega boosters online. DUNKEY: Here I come. JESSE: Come the fuck on. DUNKEY: I have now entered warp speed. JESSE: Jesus fucking - [Jesse groans] DUNKEY: Here I go. DUNKEY: Super mode - [ music stops ] DUNKEY: Are you kidding me? DUNKEY: Now I gotta start all over again. [music restarts] [Jesse laughing] DUNKEY: You're so fucked when I get over there. PBAT: Oh, what the fuck? It makes you put in my CD key? DUNKEY: Yep. It's one of those games. PBAT: God fucking - PBAT: Why? DUNKEY: It's the only game with a CD key . PBAT: That's so stupid. DUNKEY: There's no resolutions, either. PBAT: Is there at least controller - PBAT: Yeah, there's controller support. DUNKEY: There's no controls. PBAT: There's no controls? [Laughing] DUNKEY: OK, this is the tutorial. PBAT: Fuck you! Let's fucking - DUNKEY: I can jump on your head whenever I want. PBAT: JASON! PBAT: God, I can't even - [both laughing] PBAT: Fuck you. PBAT: Let me kill you. This is bullshit. DUNKEY: Gotcha! [laughing] PBAT: How the fuck do you keep getting it? DUNKEY: I'm good at this game. PBAT: Also why do I have, like, a fucking banana on my... PBAT: Why do I have a banana peel? DUNKEY: How did you get a banana? PBAT: What is this supposed to be? Do you see it in my hand? DUNKEY: That's a like a, um... PBAT: Like a yellow banana peel? DUNKEY: It's like a little - DUNKEY: You piece of shit! DUNKEY: Damn! PBAT: Oh fuck, I didn't see that. [ victorious music playing ] DUNKEY: I put your music on man. DUNKEY: C'mon. DUNKEY: Your favorite jam. DUNKEY: You can do this! DUNKEY: There you go! DUNKEY: There you go! C'mon! DUNKEY: Bring it home. DUNKEY: You got this! C'mon man. JESSE: All right, I do got it. JESSE: Gotta chill out before I - DUNKEY: Don't get nervous. JESSE: OK. [music stops] [frustrated screaming] DUNKEY: OK, Dion. PBAT: Go. DUNKEY: You distract the bullets... PBAT: Jason, go! DUNKEY: Meanwhile, I'll sneak past. PBAT: I'm distracting them, move! PBAT: Move! PBAT: I can't... I can't keep... I can't keep doing this. It's im...fuck... PBAT: Go! PBAT: Get over the thing! DUNKEY: OK, I'm ready. DUNKEY: Here I go. PBAT: Oh my god. PBAT: Gotta go down... DUNKEY: Now be careful! PBAT: Up, around... DUNKEY: Watch out for the hand. PBAT: What hand? PBAT: I don't see a hand! DUNKEY: The hand, you got to watch out for the hand. PBAT: What hand, J?! DUNKEY: Gotta juke it out. PBAT: I don't see a hand! DUNKEY: Juke the hand out. DUNKEY: That hand. PBAT: Goddammit. DUNKEY: And... dead. JESSE: Don't say anything! DUNKEY: And... DUNKEY: Dead. DUNKEY: Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd... DUNKEY: Dead. DUNKEY: And dead. DUNKEY: And dea- DUNKEY: Oh my god! You can do this! DUNKEY: C'mon man! DUNKEY: You're right at the finish line! DUNKEY: Just bring it home. DUNKEY: You got this! JESSE: YEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH DUNKEY: But watch out for the red guy.