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VOICE The following is rated "S" for
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spoilers.
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VOICE (CONT'D) In a world where movies have been
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replaced by TV as the medium for grown ups...
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VOICE (CONT'D) Comes the best HBO-style drama that
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can't use the F-word or show any bewbs...
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VOICE (CONT'D) ...yet is so good, it got TV snobs
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to finally shut up about The Wire.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Breaking Bad.
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VOICE (CONT'D) The show so powerful you binge
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watch it on Netflix... So all- consuming you push it on your
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friends even if they don't watch TV... and so addicting you can't
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shut up about it.
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VOICE (CONT'D) It's basically like drugs.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Journey to scenic New Mexico, because
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state tax laws made it much cheaper to film in than Los Angeles.
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VOICE (CONT'D) And meet chemistry teacher Walter
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White. He's got the kind of cancer that makes you cough. A lot.
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VOICE (CONT'D) He'll cook crystal meth to pay for
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his expensive cancer treatment... then to save money for his
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family... and then just because.
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VOICE (CONT'D) So awesome!
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VOICE (CONT'D) Meet his partner Jesse Pinkman, a
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Juggalo without the makeup who prefers the formal term for female dog.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Together, they'll battle some of
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television's greatest villains:
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VOICE (CONT'D) All of which happen to be angry
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latino men.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Ay yi yi!
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VOICE (CONT'D) But that's not all, Walt's also got
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drama at home.
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VOICE (CONT'D) There's his annoying wife Skyler...
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who at first you wish would just go away.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Then later will wish she could just
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get away, since she's married to a complete sociopath
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VOICE (CONT'D) There's also a baby who shows up
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when its convenient.
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VOICE (CONT'D) A son who...we're not sure if we're allowed
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to make fun of...
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VOICE (CONT'D) And a brother-in-law cop who's
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terrible at telling jokes...and even worse at recognizing that his
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own family is running a crystal meth empire.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Prepare for five epic seasons
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packed with awesome unforgettable moments...
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VOICE (CONT'D) Aw man that was awesome right
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there.
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VOICE (CONT'D) That was freakin cool
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VOICE (CONT'D) Oh man that was so good!
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VOICE (CONT'D) But you'll also have to sit through
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a lot of this...
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VOICE (CONT'D) Yeah I guess that did take a long time to pay off
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VOICE (CONT'D) But that made it totally worth it!
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VOICE (CONT'D) Get ready for a show where anyone
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can be killed at any time, and in any way...
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VOICE From box cutter...
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VOICE To bike lock...
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VOICE (CONT'D) To ATM machine...
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VOICE (CONT'D) To decapitated-head turtle-bomb....
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VOICE (CONT'D) To exploding grandpa.
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VOICE (CONT'D) To Jimi Hendrixing.
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VOICE (CONT'D) To Pontiac Aztec.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Now that's product placement.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Starring...
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VOICE (CONT'D) Breakfast
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VOICE (CONT'D) P.O.V. Shots!
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VOICE (CONT'D) The Color Purple
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VOICE (CONT'D) Corpse barrels
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VOICE (CONT'D) Bald Guys.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Foreshadowing
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VOICE (CONT'D) Magnets
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VOICE (CONT'D) Rocks
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VOICE (CONT'D) Er... Minerals.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Roof Pizza
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VOICE (CONT'D) Half of Mr. Show
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VOICE (CONT'D) Malcom's Dad
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VOICE (CONT'D) and the world's greatest Price is
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Right contestant
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VOICE (CONT'D) Breaking Bad
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.
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VOICE (CONT'D) Seriously, you better tune in fast
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or be ostracized by white
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people...it's pretty much all they
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ever talk about.