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  • We've all been there before.

  • You're in conversation. Things are humming along nicely. And then out of nowhere, the awkward silence rears its head.

  • At that moment, your mind goes completely blank, you don't know what to say,

  • and you can sense the other person's eyes wandering as they look for someone else to talk to.

  • That scenario sucks, so here are five tips to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation again.

  • First, when you find yourself in that situation where your mind has gone blank, play Reminds Me of.

  • That just means that you look to the environment around you and say, "You know, that reminds me of..." and then fill in the blank.

  • It's great for opening new conversational threads, and it can also work as a follow-up when someone finishes telling a story,

  • which is how many groups of friends interact all the time.

  • That's because people are drawn to others who they feel are similar to themselves, and related stories can build that bridge.

  • Just be sure not to repeatedly make your story superior to theirs, or else you can feel like one-upping.

  • Second, when you ask questions, keep them open-ended as often as possible.

  • So rather than saying, "Oh, you're from Toronto. Do you like it there?"

  • you might say, "How do you like Toronto?" "I'm curious to hear more about it."

  • The former question invites a one-word response and then awkward silence.

  • The latter gets the other person talking about the things that they like, which is going to open up more conversational threads.

  • Also, just remember the rule that every three-year-old knows about conversation, which is that simply asking why is a great way to get people to open up more.

  • So when someone mentions that they are consultant for instance, you might ask:

  • "Why did you decide to get into consulting?"

  • To be clear, unlike three-year-olds, you don't have to say the word 'why' over and over and over.

  • But drilling down into their motivations will often get you a deeper connection in conversation.

  • Third, for the worst case scenario, when conversation just flat-out stalls, use revival questions.

  • These are non sequiturs that bring conversation back from the dead.

  • Here's three of my favorites.

  • If you're in a new group and conversation dies, after initial pleasantries, a great revival question is: "How do you guys all know one another?"

  • There's almost always some kind of story that conversation can build from.

  • If you're only speaking to one person, you can say instead, "So what's your story?"

  • The great thing about this question is that it is so open-ended that the other person will probably guide you towards the topics that they want to talk about.

  • Usually responding with something like, "You mean what do I do for work or what do I like to do for fun?"

  • Their tone of voice and enthusiasm will usually tell you the best angle of conversation to continue with.

  • Lastly, for people you already know well, ask them about their exciting plans for the future.

  • This one is nice because it is endlessly renewable, which makes it great for connecting with people in the office or wherever you work.

  • Fourth on the list is to make a complimentary cold read.

  • So if someone is particularly smiley, you might say, "You look like the type who would be great with kids."

  • Or if they're super strong, you might say, "You look like you're pretty into fitness."

  • If you get it right, they're probably going to open up and tell you more about it.

  • But even if you're wrong, you can talk about what it is that gave you that impression in the first place.

  • Either way, you've got new conversational material to work with.

  • And the fifth and final tip is to flip the script so that you're not the one worried about running out of things to say.

  • Instead, allow the other person to move the conversation forward by getting more comfortable with silence.

  • Seriously, three seconds might feel like a long time, but if you can just take a deep breath while maintaining easy eye contact,

  • more often than not, the other person will make a comment or ask you a question.

  • Or if you really want to encourage them to continue, repeat back the last few words that they said.

  • This mirroring invites them to elaborate and can often get people to open up in very powerful ways.

  • So there you have it.

  • Five quick and easy tactics that you can use today to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation.

  • If you'd like these tips and want more advanced tips,

  • you might want to check out an online course that I created called Charisma University.

  • It has a full hour of my best strategies to become an expert conversationalist,

  • not to mention separate sections on creating amazing first impressions,

  • telling captivating stories,

  • developing rock-solid confidence,

  • and becoming an inspiring leader.

  • You can learn more and join today if you're interested by clicking the button now.

  • If you like this video and more like it on YouTube,

  • make sure to subscribe to the channel

  • and click that notification bell.

  • I hope that you enjoyed this video and I will see you in the next one.

We've all been there before.

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A2 US conversation conversational blank silence open ended revival

How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say In Conversation

  • 99060 7411
    Carol Chen posted on 2018/03/06
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