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With both sides stuck in a hard stalemate, they knew this war wasn't going to be about taking territory,
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but about simply wearing each other down.
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The Allies had plenty of men to expend from its overseas dominions.
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And the British also started a naval blockade,
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so Germany couldn't import stuff, like food.
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Neither side really wanted a long grueling war, though.
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So, they both thought of ways to break the deadlock on the western front.
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Idea number one: New Frontiers.
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When the war first broke out Australia was quick to take German New Guinea
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The Allies also quickly jumped on Germany's colonies in Africa,
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and particularly in German East Africa,
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locals were enlisted as soldiers and carriers by both sides.
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Leading to a tragic loss of life for the Native Africans.
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Some new combatants entered the war as well.
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The Allies newest friends were Italy,
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and Japan.
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Japan was busy building itself an empire.
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So, it was more than happy to take away German Islands and colonies in East Asia
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Italy actually had an alliance with Germany and Austria-Hungary before the war.
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But after some tense relations,
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and then the Allies promising to give them some of Austria-Hungary's stuff,
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they switched sides.
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Italy opened up a front in the mountains here,
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but like everyone else,
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they were stuck in stalemate for most of the war.
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The Central Powers' new friend was a struggling empire in the middle East.
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The Ottomans....
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(Ottomen?)
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The Ottomen where divided on whether to actually join the war or not,
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since they had been exhausted by the recent Balkan Wars.
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Some of the politicians who did want to join went off on their own and fired some shells at Russia.
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And then came back and said,
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"Whoops, looks like we're at war now."
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The Ottoman entry into the war was of particular concern to the British,
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since the middle East was full of oil and Britain wanted all of that oil.
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First, the Ottomans tried to attack Russia in the Caucasus Mountains.
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But they weren't prepared for the cold and many of them froze to death.
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Then they crossed miles of desert to take the Suez Canal from the British.
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But that failed, too.
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Then the Allies tried to take the Dardanelles at Gallipoli in a long and hard trench warfare campaign....
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but that also failed.
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The Ottomans blamed their initial losses on the ethnic Armenians living within Ottoman territory.
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And the resulting Armenian genocide
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led to the deaths of one and a half million people.
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Then, the Germans sent spies into Afghanistan
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to try to convince the Arab tribes there to rise up in Jihad against the British
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and attack India.
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But that plan failed. Partly because the spies got bored, brewed their own alcohol, and got drunk....
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which is a bad thing to do in Afghanistan.
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All these new Frontiers hadn't done much to change the war.
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Aware that the Allies had more men and supplies than them,
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the Germans knew they had to do something to break the stalemate.
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Before the war, there was a big conference that set out the rules of Modern warfare:
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No chemical weapons,
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no killing civilians.
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Basically: Don't be jerks.
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The Germans held a meeting, and decided to be jerks.
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Zeppelin air raids commenced over British cities,
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they also started attacking the ally trenches with chlorine gas,
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and they used submarines to sink civilian ships.
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One such civilian ship was the Lusitania
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which had a hundred and fifty-nine Americans on board when it was sunk.
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Further swaying US opinion against the Germans.
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Not to be completely unfair to the Germans,
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the Allies also engaged in chemical warfare soon after,
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and they had been hiding anti-submarine weapons on their civilian ships.
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Which led the Germans justify their attacks.
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Meanwhile, Austria-Hungary still hadn't dealt with Serbia,
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so the central powers enlisted some help.
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Bulgaria wished it was bigger and was still bitter about
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losing the second Balkan war.
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The Central Powers promised to make all of Bulgaria's wildest dreams come true if they helped.
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So they signed on and together they knocked out Serbia.
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The Serbian troops retreated through Albania
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which was neutral but had some ties to Austria-Hungary.
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So, Austria-Hungary entered Albania in a 'friendly invasion' to chase down the Serbians
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many of whom escaped by sea.
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It's 1916 and a lot is happening.
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As if they didn't have enough enemies already,
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Germany added one more to the list.
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Portugal had been getting a bit chummy with the allies behind the scenes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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and Germany didn't like that one bit.
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Around the same time, the only sea battle of the war happened.
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Both sides had a new powerful class of battleships called "Dreadnought."
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But they were so expensive to build that neither side wanted to risk losing them in a battle.
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So they kept them in port. Except for one time when they had a big fight and a bunch of them got damaged.
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So they didn't try that again. The UK started conscripting men to the army so they had plenty of reserves.
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Which is just as well because the western front was about to get brutal.
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The longest and one of the bloodiest battles of the war started
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when the Germans launched an attack around the French city of Verdun.
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The French defended it desperately,
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leading to hundreds of thousands of casualties.
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Under pressure, the French called on its allies to do something to draw the Germans' attention away.
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So, the British started their own long and brutal fight, the Battle of the Somne,
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with 60,000 British casualties on just the first day.
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It was also here that the British first used one crazy brand-new piece of Sci-Fi technology.
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The Russians had been getting pushed back further and further into their own territory,
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but in response to the French call for help,
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they began a huge offensive
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and did really well until they ran out of supplies and got stuck.
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Seeing how well the Russians have been doing
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Romania decided now would be a great time to jump in on win the war.
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And then they got pounded.
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The Greeks were fighting amongst themselves about whether to join the war or not
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The king liked the Central powers while the prime minister wanted to join the Allies.
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After a brief national Schism during which the country split into two,
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the king finally abdicated and the country reunited.
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With Allied help they began a new offensive.
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In the Middle East, Russia was pushing into Ottoman territory from the North.
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The British had also made a landing in Mesopotamia to protect Persia's oil fields.
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And they'd also sent a small army up the Tigris river to try to take Baghdad
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but the army got sieged in the town of Kut along the way
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And eventually surrendered.
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A new offensive was launched from the south with all-out desert warfare.
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The offensive was aided by one famous British officer, better known as Lawrence of Arabia,
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who helped to lead the Arab tribes in a revolt that wreaked Havoc on the Ottoman supply lines.
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By the time 1917 rolled around everyone was exhausted.
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There are mutinies in the French army, the German populace was starving,
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and the war had drained all of Russia's supplies.
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There is no clear winner, and it was still anyone's war.
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The only question now was: Who is going to break first?
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And the answer was: Russia.
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Tired of not eating and mad that a crazy magic homeless guy was calling some of the shots
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there was an uprising in Petrograd complete with riots and strikes.
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The riots turned into a full-scale revolution
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and a new government overthrew the Tsar.
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Then a few months later the Bolsheviks overthrew the new government.
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And they pulled Russia out of the war.
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This was great news for Germany that now only had to focus on the western front.
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But there was still one problem:
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The pesky United States of America was looking increasingly like it was going to join the war.
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America had been selling supplies to the Allies throughout the war
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and was getting super rich off the back of it.
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Meaning it was in fantastic shape and was dangerous to the Germans.
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So Germany sent a telegram to Mexico saying:
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"Wouldn't it be crazy cool if you guys attacked America?"
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But the British intercepted the message, showed it to the Americans, and that was the final straw.
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American troops began shipping out to Europe.
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This was terrible news for Germany.
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And they knew their only hope now is to force France and the UK to surrender
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before the fresh American troops arrived. It was now or never.
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So they started one final attack.
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They converged their troops and hit hard at the Somme
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and pushed the Allies back.
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They hit a second time for the north, then again, and again.
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With each hit the germans were spending more and more resources
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while the allies were getting better and better at repelling their attacks.
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By the fifth punch, the Allies held the line and even pushed back.
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With American troops now arriving in larger numbers
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the Allies launched a counter-attack, and that was it.
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The central powers were being pushed back on all fronts.
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Bulgaria collapsed first, followed by the Ottoman Empire,
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then Austria-Hungary and finally on November 11th, 1918 at 11 o'clock, Germany surrendered.
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At the peace treaty Germany was forced to
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reduce its military, accept war guilt, and pay the bill for the war.
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After indescribable suffering and millions dead, the world learned its lesson
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and never had such an awful war again.
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For about 20 years.