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  • Apple has something new and slightly terrifying on the way.

  • Soon you will be able to track all your medical information on your iPhone.

  • Apple is like: "Look, we already know all this stuff.

  • We are just asking your permission to put it on your phone."

  • The idea is to help people automatically keep track of their medical history,

  • and also to let the guy at the genius bar know you have herpes.

  • But, part of me likes the idea because I like the idea of of tracking my medical history.

  • Part of me doesn't, because it seems a little bit...

  • I mean imagine, imagine what it would be like if Siri was your doctor.

  • Hey Siri.

  • What can I help you with?

  • Thanks for seeing me, I've been a little under the weather.

  • The weather in Los Angeles is

  • - currently clear skies with zero percent chance of rain. - No, no, no.

  • - The temperature is... - I'm saying, Siri I don't feel well.

  • I have a pain in my side.

  • You're concerned about penis size.

  • I found several pills that can help.

  • Not... Yeah a little but I'm not...

  • I have a pain, what I'm asking about I have a pain right here.

  • It hurts when I press it.

  • Prostate. Got it.

  • - Remove your pants and bend over the table. - No, no, no, no...

  • I'm pretty sure this pain has absolutely nothing to do with my prostate.

  • Okay. Prostitutes.

  • I found five prostitutes in your area.

  • Tap one to call.

  • No. You know what I'm not... I don't want to call any of them.

  • Can you just give me something for the pain?

  • Maybe, uh, Aspirin or some Tylenol.

  • Okay, Tide Pods.

  • No. It's... Tylenol.

  • - Can I help you with anything else? - No... these will be fine.

  • Thank you Siri. Thank you for the Tide Pods.

  • Thank you Siri. I'm just going to stay here. Alright.

  • I don't know why. Don't know why I feel like...

  • You've just walked in on a Lily Tomlin sketch.

Apple has something new and slightly terrifying on the way.

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B1 US JimmyKimmel siri pain prostate medical tylenol

What if Siri Was Your Doctor?

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    kiki posted on 2018/02/16
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