Subtitles section Play video
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[...] You bet I did
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Last one!
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Oh, cookie, you look so good
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(Roger shushes cookie)
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Don't speak
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I'll go get some milk for your bath
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What the...?!
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Hey! That was my cookie!
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You snooze, you lose
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"You snooze, you lose", huh?
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Hmm, okay
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Eat up... Eat...up.
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Why wasn't in I in any of those old family videos?
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Well, that's 'cause all of the footage was taken before you were adopted
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Wh--...what are you talking about?
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I'm not adopted
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No, no. Of course not, that'd be silly.
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You look just like your dad
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Good night
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I'm gonna make you cry and dip my cookie in your tears
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Aah!
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I asked mom if I was adopted and she said "no"
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Well, what'd you think she was gonna say? She's in too deep
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...but, hey, don't take my word for it
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I'm not in this one, either
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How can this be?
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Look at little Stevesie sleep
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You snooze you lose
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(Roger maniacal laughter)
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This must be very painful for you
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The NGA won't re-instate my membership unless you apologize
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Yeah, right...when pigs fly!
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A-ha!
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The NGA is the only thing in my life that means anything to me!
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(Francine clears throat)
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What, are you getting sick?
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Don't come near me! I can't afford to get sick!
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So, now that you know they're not your real parents, are you gonna call them
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Stan and Francine?
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No--
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--I'm gonna call them mom and dad
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I'm still their son
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Oh, Stan, calm down!
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As far as I'm concerned, we only have one child--
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--it's like someone left the other one on our doorstep
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(Steve gasps)
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(Steve cries)
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Oh, I just love it when crap lines up like that
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Hey, I found your real parents online
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Stan and Francine didn't adopt you-- --they kidnapped you
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What...?
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Yep, they nabbed you when you were three...
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...from a boat show
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(Steve gasps) That explains why I've always wanted a boat
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Whelp, there you go, "Tom"
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That's your real name
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Tom Madsen
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Wow...Tom Madsen
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Y'know...the name "Smith" never felt right.
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It's not a seafaring name
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No...but Madsen, that's Norwegian
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So, Tom? How'd you like to meet your real parents?
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(Steve surprised)
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Why would I wear a sailor suit to meet my real parents?
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You were kidnapped at a boat show
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Your parents have a boat
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They're rich
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Do you want them to recognize you or not?
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You're right, you're right
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Don't forget this curly blond wig
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Why would I wear a wig?
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You're Norwegian...
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Right...right
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(Steve sighs)
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(doorbell rings)
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Mr. Madsen?
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I'm Tom
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Your son
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Oh my, God
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Tommy!
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Is it really you?
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Jane, come quick!
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Momma?
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Thomas!
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You are alive!
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All these years, we never gave up hope
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Gotcha!
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Those aren't your parents!
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That's for taking my cookie!
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...what?
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Remember?
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"you snooze, you lose?"
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You--you put me through all this...
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...just because I ate your cookie?
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...dude...
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...that is awesome!
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You so got me!
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Thanks
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Thanks, there were a couple times when I didn't think you were buying it
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H-hey, I'm in a sailor suit
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(laughs) Man, I shoulda' known
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These people aren't rich
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Look at their house, it's a box!
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Oh, oh! Picture, picture
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(camera shutter)
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- (Haley sighs) - Steve: Did somebody order 40cc's of deliciousness?
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We found goodies in the lobby
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Wiffel Wix, Bittles, grape gum
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Hey, you're in my seat
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Sorry, early bird gets the worm
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"Early bird gets the worm," huh?
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Heh
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Enjoy the seat
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Enjoy...the seat.