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[music plays] Here's a fascinating question I get a lot.
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Does it bother me that I don't know if anyone is watching me
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or staring at me. It's funny when I walk around with my
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cane, I do, I feel like everybody is watching me.
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I feel like if there are people around they are watching me. And simply because
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there's not a lot of blind people around and for a lot of people
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I might be the first time they've ever seen one.
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So I do, I think people
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are watching me a lot. And if the roles were reversed
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and I had never seen a blind person walking with cane, you better believe I'd
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be watching. I don't think that's rude but I think
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it's just simple curiosity more than anything. Now, this is the thing,
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I don't know if I understand the difference between watching and staring.
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I know that staring is a bit more rude than watching.
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Parents always say, "Don't stare... that's not polite, don't stare."
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But what's the difference between staring and watching. I would think
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that to watch something is okay but to stare
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means your eyes are wide open and you're just concentrating on
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this one thing and you're just transfixed if you will.
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I imagine people do both to me. I think people are looking at me
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because I'm walking with a white cane. I think people are looking because I'm not quite
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walking in a straight line. You know.
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Or maybe I'm about to walk into something. Now, do I
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notice it in a restaurant for example, if I'm sitting there eating?
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I might not notice that. Let's say I'm in a place
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by myself. I'm at a booth alone, okay. And I'm having
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a little lunch and if there's somebody staring at me from
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two - three tables away I have no idea. But if I'm with somebody
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and we're having lunch together and then afterward we're talking
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and he says, "You know, the person was staring at you
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for the entire time and it made me uncomfortable."
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Wow. Okay, I get that too.
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[music plays] A part of this question is about
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can I feel the eyes on me.
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Like I've heard people say that they're burning a hole in the back of my head from
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looking at me so much, right. But I think that's a sighted thing.
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I don't think I would be able eyes on me
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because I don't know what that is. How could I know?
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It's got to be a sighted thing. I don't think I've ever felt eyes on me
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before. I don't think I've ever been in a situation
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where I've been like, [gasp] "I know everybody is watching me."
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You know, staring at me. I always assume that
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because I'm different and because people have never seen it
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and they want to see if I can make it and all that stuff.
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Now, if I was walking around and there were 20 hands on me
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I'd feel that. I know what that would be like.
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You know, people trying to stop me and push me and pull me and the whole thing.
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But, with eyes I don't really get that.
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[music plays] When there are sighted people around,
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I'm not quite sure who's watching all the time, you know,
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so I have to be careful. So for example, if somebody comes over, if I live with
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somebody or that kind of thing. I'm afraid to
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maybe pick my teeth in front of somebody right
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because I don't know if they're going to see that, or touch my nose
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or my ear or some weird thing.
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You know... I never know. And I understand that
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people aren't watching everything
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but are you going to see this little moment. I never quite know.
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Whether or not somebody's watching.
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But I'm very self conscious when there's sighted people around unless
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you're in another room. If we're yelling across the house to each other, then I know
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that things are cool and I could do whatever I have to do.
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And you can't see it, but in the same room...
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I got to be careful. Sometimes I
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might goof it up. Where I'll be talking to somebody and they're
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out of the room but I guess they're straight ahead and they can still see into
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the room. Or, the other way around. You know, that they're
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around a corner and I think, "well, you sound so close. You should be
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able to see this." But I don't understand that you can't see around the corner.
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That happens too. Another thing
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that happens when I'm around sighted people is I can't tell what they're doing
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all the time. If I just start to talk to somebody and they don't
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respond I'm going, "I know you're still here."
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"Oh, yeah, you might be on your phone or something like that."
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It happens all the time. I never quite know what
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sighted people are doing. There are times when I'll be talking to somebody
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and maybe they get distracted or have to go away
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for a quick second while I'm talking to them and I'm just sitting there talking going,
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"Hello. [gasp] Oh, you really did leave."
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"Wait, I'll be right back!"
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And that's a time where I thought they were right there looking at me.
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Totally engaged in what I had to say. And they got distracted
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and had to leave. Isn't it funny. I'm talking about sighted
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people watching me and then sighted people not even looking.
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It's very hard to know.
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[music plays] Just because I'm blind people think that I
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can't really stare at somebody, right, but I do.
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It's not staring with my eyes, but you better believe
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I'm checking people out. I listen to conversations.
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I just start to zero in on a conversation. For example,
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if we're having lunch or something like that. And there's somebody at the next table talking about
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something interesting, I am all in. And I'm transfixed
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just like you would be with your eyes if you were watching somebody.
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And I'm just all on that conversation.
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You know, people are like, "Tommy, what are doing?" "Shh, they're talking
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about something cool over here. Hang on a second."
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I love that so I'm guilty of it too. And this is why
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I talk quietly when I'm out.
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[music plays] Hey, by the way,
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I want to recommend a channel to you. A couple weeks ago at YouTube Space LA,
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I happen to meet a lovely couple who have a channel called Wranglerstar.
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And what these guys did is very cool. They left
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the city to become modern homesteaders up in the rugged mountains
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of the Pacific Northwest. These guys do all
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kinds of outdoorsy stuff. You know, cutting down
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big trees and building things and putting things together.
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Just doing it all on their own. It's off the grid stuff
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and it's amazing and it's honestly stuff I never really knew about
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before so I'm learning a lot from these guys as well.
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A couple of the videos I really like, well one of them
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is where he's talking about these handmade clamps that he uses
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that are very intricate. Another, he's demonstrating a
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tractor and how it works, and my favorite talking about
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these steel pants he wears. I swear to god, he wears metal pants.
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He also does videos about everything
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that's going on in the world and stuff that's happening on YouTube like
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channels getting hacked. He also talks about YouTube ad revenue
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being cut and even all that stuff that went on with
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PewDiePie and how Casey Neistat reacted to it and everything.
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He just brings a real different perspective to it. It's very grounded.
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I love listening to him talk about it. So check him out.
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Subscribe to his channel. Look, there's a link right there on the screen
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and in the description as well. Hey, you got to get me a pair of those metal pants, man.
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I bet they go with everything.