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  • Hmm. HMM. (Matpat, no!)

  • (Bad Matpat!)

  • Urk. *cough* Stuck in my throat! S-stuck in my throat! (I warned you!)

  • [Super Awesome Game Theory Intro]

  • H-Hello Internet! *coughs intensely*

  • Welcome to Game Theory!

  • Providing you with your weekly serving of free range

  • organic brain food since 2011. Now in case

  • the title, thumbnail, and opening gag didn't give it away

  • today we're going to be discussing the playful pink puffball from planet Pop Star

  • the Warp Star Warrior,

  • the Dynamic Dreamlander, Kirby. For anyone

  • that's unfamiliar with the series, and let's face it, if you don't know

  • who Kirby is at this point then you're going PRETTY far out of your way

  • to avoid it. The Kirby franchise started back in 1992

  • with the initial entry Kirby's Dream Land and has since

  • launched over two dozen games, selling over 35 million

  • copies, which is more than double Metroid sales and triple Star Fox.

  • And here's the Internet wondering why Nintendo's so slow to release more Samus games.

  • Why create a sprawling space opera when all you gotta do to sell some games is

  • give a pink blob the superpower of friendship? I mean, look at that!

  • He's holding an umbrella to stop the water! AWWWWW

  • IT'S SO CUTE! TAKE MY MONEY NINTENDO!

  • I LOVE Kirby games. I LOVE Kirby games.

  • Which may come as a bit of a surprise considering that this is the first

  • dedicated Kirby theory since the Yarn Bombing episode

  • and that one didn't have anything to do with it.

  • If you're new to this channel or missed that one or just want Cringemas

  • to come early, watch that one. Click the i icon in the upper right hand corner

  • of the screen. You will be... I don't know. Good luck. You will be... Mildly entertained...

  • and confused why people still think the early days of Game Theory were better...

  • ANYWAY, the holiday season always makes me think of Kirby

  • Kirby Super Star was my all-time favorite birthday present growing up.

  • My birthday's in November so I associate it with the holiday season,

  • and two-player Epic Yarn around Christmas was the way Steph and I celebrated

  • getting engaged when it was too cold outside in New York to do really anything else (Awww :D)

  • So, I wanted to take some time today to look at Kirby, and I mean REALLY look at Kirby.

  • Because what the heck is he supposed to be? Sonic is a hedgehog, Crash is a bandicoot,

  • Mario is a homo-nintendonus, which is a WHOLE other episode. But Kirby is a-

  • What? Pop Starian? What exactly does that mean?

  • We know that this is a universe with Earth on it. Post-apocalyptic frozen over Earth, but Earth nonetheless,

  • so it can't be too far outside the realm of our own biology.

  • So I took to the Internet, scouring the pages of the web for information. Clues, anything that would help me scratch this itch,

  • but to no avail. No one knows!

  • Even Masahiro Sakurai, the creator of Kirby,

  • claims to not know what his own creation is. Well, all of that ends TODAY.

  • What exactly is Kirby, you ask? Well, loyal Theorists

  • brace yourself for this one cause I think I've solved it.

  • Kirby is a single celled organism known most commonly as an amoeba.

  • So grab yourself a hyperactive lolly pop and hop aboard your warp star,

  • cause it's long past time I tackle the science behind this sucker.

  • Kirby's body is a strange one for sure,

  • but it does have consistent behaviors throughout the series.

  • For one, we know his body is elastic. Notice here

  • that the force of him hitting the ground causes his body to shift to the side of impact

  • then bounce back to normal.

  • It's a lot like a water balloon bouncing off the floor when it's dropped.

  • When he runs, we clearly see that the force of the wind against his face deforms him a bit, too.

  • These details about his movements suggest that Kirby doesn't have a solid internal structural system

  • and instead is just a giant ball of fluid. But, we don't just have to guess that we can actually

  • scientifically prove it! With an X-ray of Kirby.

  • You might call it (cringy pun alert) Kirby's Inside Story!

  • *softly* Different franchise, that was just wrong and stupid, Matpat.

  • But you may be asking me right now, how do you get an X-ray of a fictional character?

  • Easy! The original Smash Brothers. Yeah, of all places.

  • In this game, and only in this game, when characters are electrocuted by Pikachu,

  • you can see all of their skeletons. Hey, uh, Captain Falcon

  • looks like you might be missing a rib or two there.

  • Uh, Star Fox I'm a bit concerned that your tail is literally ONE GIANT BONE!

  • But across the twelve characters in the game, three show themselves as not having a skeleton.

  • Can you guess which three?

  • I'll wait! But not too long, because you literally have a pause button and you can just pause and think about it.

  • Kirby is obviously one because we wouldn't be talking about this if he did.

  • Jigglypuff is another fairly obvious example. What you can see here for both of them

  • they clearly have no bones inside of them when compared to their bone-bearing opponents.

  • And the third character, the one you might not have guessed. Fun fact, is actually Samus,

  • who doesn't reveal her skeleton, but rather her real body hidden inside of her space suit.

  • Cool details, right? Now let's look at Kirby's... arm hands?

  • Hand arms? Let's just call them nubblies, Kirby's nubblies.

  • Kirby's been shown holding objects like hammers, whips, and swords,

  • but in every single instance he's holding something

  • he never ever sprouts fingers from his pink, stretchy, fleshy nubblies.

  • Instead, it's almost like whatever he holds just sticks to him.

  • But Kirby isn't just some sticky ball.

  • He's making a choice to stick his nubblies onto these objects.

  • Otherwise, anything he smacked, bumped, or ran into

  • would stick to him. And I think it would be a VERY different game at that point.

  • In fact, I know what game it would be at that point-

  • it's a Katamari game. Katamari Kirby! Kirby-mari epic crossover!

  • No need to pay me for the brilliant game idea, Nintendo, just send me more of that Super Mario Odyssey cereal.

  • As if I didn't collect enough moons in that game.

  • Moving further up on the nubblie (or is it nubbly for singular?) we see what's happening between his arm and his body.

  • And it's... kinda weird.

  • Take a look at Kirby Return to Dream Land. In his running animations,

  • Kirby just slides his hands up above his head, as if his nubblies are just rolling around on the surface of his body.

  • They're not in one fixed position like how our arms are attached at our shoulders.

  • But, rather the nubblies are able to shift where on his body they're springing out on

  • depending on the way that he's using them.

  • This is also found in Kirby's Mass Attack and in Triple Deluxe

  • when he's floating, jumping, using the whip - oh and to make things even more interesting,

  • his swimming animation in Return to Dream Land shows his arms forming on top of his face

  • and then sliding down his sides. All the while, his body maintains the same spherical shape.

  • This would be like having your arms sprout out of your forehead so you could reach the

  • last Diet Coke on the top shelf, and then being able to slide all the way down to

  • your legs to reach the double stuffed Oreos you tucked away in the bottom of the pantry.

  • You know, the places you've hidden all the unhealthy food that you're trying to stay away from

  • but HAHA my nubblie arms have beaten this fool proof healthy eating plan.

  • And, uh, can you guys tell I'm trying to get healthy?

  • It's clearly not working. (Stay strong, Matpat)

  • While we're examining Kirby's behavior in the water, there are two other things

  • to note here. One, he keeps the same shape even when inhaling,

  • and two, even though he can float by inhaling a bunch of air on the land,

  • he actually sinks underwater.

  • Now you might be asking yourself at this point, "Hey Matpat,

  • all of these things seem really pointless.

  • How does all of this prove that Kirby is an amoeba?"

  • Well, once I start explaining to you the defining characteristics of

  • an amoeba, it's all gonna start making a lot of sense.

  • As I slipped past you earlier in the thesis statement to this video,

  • amoebas are single celled organisms, meaning they're made up of one cell,

  • as opposed to us, who are made up of billions of different cells.

  • They're also Eukaryotic, which means they have a nucleus that tells the cell what to be, what to do, and how to do it.

  • It's like the brain of a cell. Additionally, the life of an amoeba pretty much consists of

  • moving around in a constant search for something to eat.

  • Starting to make a few connections?

  • Well, how about we piece this thing together?

  • Kirby's water balloon-like body told us that he had to be filled with some sort of liquid

  • allowing him to maintain structure while still causing the deformations of his body

  • that we saw when running and falling. Conveniently enough,

  • amoebas are filled with a fluid called cytoplasm,

  • which allows them to maintain some level of structure while still giving them

  • enough elasticity to change their shape.

  • Amoebas move around and grab things using stretchy appendages called pseudopods -

  • Greek for false foot - that can form anywhere on their bodies.

  • Basically, a lot of cytoplasm moves to a certain part of the cell, pushes out against the cell's membrane,

  • and BOOM new appendage filled with fluid made from just a bunch of stretched out outer casing.

  • Much like Kirby's little nubblies.

  • If Kirby were indeed a form of amoeba,

  • it would explain how he's able to form arms above,

  • behind, or even in his face

  • and still move his body without the use of a skeletal or muscular system!

  • It would also explain his ability to selectively grab things that he wants from the environment around him.

  • The science is a bit too complicated to get into right now, but basically

  • amoeba have selectively permeable membranes, so certain things can

  • pass through the cell, and other things just can't. So likewise,

  • Kirby could selectively choose to grab things with his nubblies, or

  • just let them be neutral and stay outside his membrane at all times.

  • Don't worry, if having an arm coming out of your face wasn't exciting enough, there's even more benefits

  • to the wonderful world of forming false feet all over your body.

  • In multiple Kirby games, including Kirby Super Star, Return to Dream Land, and Kirby Triple Deluxe

  • Kirby has himself a guard ability. If you look at Kirby during this guard,

  • he's just throwing up his arm and assumes a defensive stance.

  • But, how can he guard like this if he's just a big squishy water balloon ball?

  • Well, the amoeba theory has an answer for that, too.

  • When placed in extreme situations, amoebas are able to form cysts.

  • Basically, like a thick layer of skin that hardens in order to protect themselves.

  • Since he isn't shown using a shield or some other form of protection,

  • just his little ole nubblie, this has to be the only logical explanation for this ability.

  • Otherwise, he'd just be getting his soft little nubblies cut off.

  • And nobody, and I mean NOBODY wants to loose themselves a nubblie.

  • Still not convinced? Well, the amoeba theory accounts for yet another oft overlooked Kirby skill -

  • division. In most Kirby games, but notably Kirby Mass Attack,

  • he's shown being split into pieces

  • with each piece still able to function, not as a hive

  • mind, but rather as separate individuals.

  • Each Kirby is able to operate on its own and without the use of something giving it orders.

  • So, how would this work if he were indeed an amoeba?

  • Well, as an amoeba he only has one nucleus, which means

  • that this would only work if a fragment of that nucleus happened to be in apart that got itself cut off.

  • But, what are the odds of that? Have I written myself into a corner? Have I disproven my own theory?

  • Have I written too many rhetorical questions? (Four is a lot)

  • No, of course not. I'm adding all this in for dramatic effect.

  • Are you sufficiently dramatized? Have I delayed this long enough? (Get on with it, Matpat!)

  • Was this a terrible meta moment for me to put in in the first place?

  • Yes, yes, yes, yes, and YES!

  • Here's the big reveal:

  • Generally, amoebas are microscopic. But there are some

  • that are shockingly large!

  • A xenophyophore is a deep water amoeba that can grow up to 20cm

  • That is EIGHT inches in diameter. Stop and think about that. That is the length of a fork!

  • For one cell. One. Cell.

  • That is enormous! If you were to fill that one cell using a typical human cell,

  • it would take one hundred billion cells!

  • And if you're thinking that's impossible for one cell with one nucleus to be that massive,

  • well, you wouldn't be completely wrong. Where the typical Eukaryotic cell

  • has one nucleus that does one job

  • this bad boy has thousands, which would

  • completely negate any need for precision

  • when it comes to Kirby's multiplication. Or should I say,

  • Kirby's cellular division. Kirby can get cut into as many pieces as he has nuclei for,

  • and he'd still be able to regenerate without breaking a sweat.

  • But, here's the kicker, the biggest twist of them all! Remember how I said that these things grow up to be

  • about eight inches in diameter? Well, according to Nintendo of Japan and Super Smash Brothers,

  • Kirby's official canon size - eight inches. Mic drop.

  • So yeah, if you're not convinced at this point, you're just being stubborn.

  • Everything, from his physical attributes, the way he moves, the way he holds things,

  • the way he defends, he hangs onto things, even how he can divide and still function

  • can all be explained by him being a pink, eight inch sentient amoeba.

  • But, you know, there's still one ability Kirby has that you might be waiting to throw back at me.

  • One thing I've tried to avoid this entire script. One piece of evidence that I have yet to reveal (again with the dramatic effect!)

  • that will not only prove with absolute certainty that he is in fact an amoeba, but also

  • answers one of the biggest mysteries surrounding Kirby.

  • NEIGH! (ahh the puns) Videogames in their entirety.

  • Yes, I'm talking about Kirby's copy ability.

  • Since the second installation of the Kirby series, he's had this inexplicable ability to ingest living opponents

  • and copy their powers. While there have been a bunch of speculation as to how this all works,

  • I'm about to hit you with THE definitive answer.

  • Kirby's special ability to copy is just an amoeba's special ability to perform endosymbiosis.

  • If you break the name apart, endo means inside, and symbiosis is a really close interaction

  • between two things. Put them together and WHAM!

  • An interaction between two things that's formed on the inside.

  • In the theory of evolution, it's proposed that one of the ways simple prokaryotic cells -

  • or cells without a nucleus - turned into the more advance eukaryotic cells

  • is by doing just that. Endosymbiosis. Cells ingested one another and just started sharing abilities

  • because it was evolutionarily beneficial.

  • A great example of this can actually be found in our own cells right now.

  • The little organelle inside your cell responsible for

  • what is essentially energy production is called mitochondria.

  • Mitochondria actually has its own DNA separate from the DNA of the rest of the cell.

  • This lends to the theory that the mitochondria was at one point in history its own organism,

  • and that a simple cell had ingested it. That cell gained the mitochondria's

  • energy production ability by literally sucking it in and

  • eating the mitochondria. Other traces of endosymbiosis can be found in a plant cell's ability to use oxygen to create energy.

  • Oh, what's that? A new oxygen rich atmosphere? Well, let me just eat a cell that can metabolize oxygen.