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  • [intro music]

  • >> VOICEOVER: In my life I have a tendency to make very bad decisions.

  • >> EMMA: David, I don't want a boyfriend who just disappears because he's too busy.

  • >> EMMA: You're unreliable. You have... brought me such beautiful flowers?

  • >> DAVID: Yes I did.

  • >> VOICEOVER: ... Maybe that's why I've been stuck in the same job for so long.

  • >> ALEKSY: You're three hours late, man.

  • >> DAVID'S DAD: You know David, I love you like a son.

  • >> DAVID: I am your son.

  • >> VOICEOVER: ... Everyone has a purpose in life. I guess I just haven't found mine yet.

  • >> LAWYER: David Wozniak, in 1994 you donated to a fertility clinic, anonymously. Apparently

  • there was a mix up at the clinic.

  • >> DAVID: What?

  • >> LAWYER: You're the biological father of five hundred and thirty three children.

  • >> DAVID: What?

  • >> DAVID: It is impossible to be the father of five hundred and thirty three children.

  • >> BRETT: It is impossible to be the father of four children.

  • >> DAVID: How would a normal person handle a situation like this?

  • >> DAVID'S FATHER: A normal person would not be in this situation.

  • >> BRETT: We're in trouble, David. The kids are sewing to find out who their biological

  • father is.

  • >> DAVID: What do we do now?

  • >> BRETT: This envelope contains the profiles of your children. DO NOT OPEN IT!

  • >> DAVID: I know I shouldn't have, but I picked out one of the profiles. I just picked one.

  • >> BRETT: Worst idea ever.

  • >> JOSH: I'm an actor missing the audition of a lifetime right now!

  • >> DAVID: I'll take care of the coffee shop.

  • >> JOSH: Who are you, man?

  • >> DAVID: I can make a cup of coffee.

  • [yelling]

  • >> JOSH: I lost my job?

  • >> DAVID: You lost your job.

  • >> JOSH: I got the part.

  • >> DAVID: You got the part?!

  • >> DAVID: This could be the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me.

  • >> DAVID: These kids need someone to lookout for them.

  • >> DAVID: YA!

  • >> DAVID: They need a guardian angel.

  • >> CONSTRUCTION WORKER: Hey, sexy!

  • >> DAVID: What are you doing? You never seen a girl before?

  • >> BRETT: When you're looking out for these kids will you be wearing some kind of... cape?

  • [yelling]

  • [sound of diving board]

  • >> DAVID: I didn't say superhero. I said guardian angel.

  • >> BRETT: You do not want to reveal yourself.

  • >> BRETT: You do not want to be known as the guy with five hundred kids!

  • >> DAVID: For the first time in my life I'm doing the right thing.

  • >> DAVID: Taxi!


  • >> DAVID: I officially set out to try and have a life.

  • >> DAVID: Nice!

  • >> DAVID: It maybe strange and a bit oversized, but it's my life.

  • >> BRETT: You don't have the skills to be a father.

  • [Slapping noise]

  • >> BRETT'S DAUGHTER: Daddy

  • >> BRETT: Ok. Stop that.

  • >> DAVID: I need order.

  • [Slapping noise]

  • >> BRETT: And this is order?

  • [Slapping noise]

  • >> BRETT'S DAUGHTER: Daddy!

[intro music]

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B1 david brett josh father slapping guardian angel

Delivery Man (2013) - Official Trailer

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    VoiceTube posted on 2013/07/28
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