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You know, when something horrible happens in the world,
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you'll see the rise of two types of people.
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Number one: people who don't let fear divide them
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and instead choose to come together.
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And number two: racist idiots who don't deserve
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an internet connection.
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Here's the thing, right, I just don't like
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when people are bad at things.
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If you're gonna be racist, at least do it right.
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Now look at this comment on my YouTube video.
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Go back to your country, you terrorist Paki,
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Afghan, Indian, Muslim slut.
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Hashtag Make Americ Great Again.
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Now I don't mean to discourage Merrick.
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He seems like a great guy.
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But your stupidity bothers me.
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First and foremost, let's make education great again.
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In fact...
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(upbeat piano music)
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Hello, and welcome.
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We'll begin by taking attendance.
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Are you here?
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Of course you are.
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YouTube comments are how you feel validated.
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Today, we're going to be taking a trip around the world,
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so you'll need to pack.
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It's probably been years since you've had the chance
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to use your passport, just like your penis.
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But don't worry, this time,
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you'll actually take off.
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To go back to my foreign country, we'll need to fly
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a long 45 minutes all the way back to Canada.
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But I'm assuming you thought my country was somewhere else,
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so let's fly across the world to the country
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of PakiAfghanIndia.
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India is all the way over here, across the ocean.
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So unfortunately, you won't be able to drive your trailer there.
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Oh covfefe.
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Once you board your flight, settle in,
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it's going to be a long journey.
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But that's okay, you can take a good rest.
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It must be so exhausting to walk
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right through airport security.
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The aircraft you're flying will probably be a double decker,
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which means it'll have about 300 to 400 people on board,
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which is approximately the same amount of people
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at Trump's inauguration.
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JK, that's an alternative fact.
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But you're probably used to those, from watching so much Fox News.
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Please note that we're not gonna fly through the Bermuda Triangle,
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because things mysteriously disappear there.
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In fact, that's probably where your education went.
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We're going to fly across the Atlantic Ocean,
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around Africa and through this passageway.
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That's very narrow, just like your mind.
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You may recognize some of these countries we're flying over
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as places immigrants come from to steal your jobs.
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Or just the same countries you steal oil from.
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Once we reach our destination, you'll notice that India,
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Pakistan and Afghanistan are actually three separate countries,
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you silly American Aussie Brit.
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When you land and are going through customs
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and they ask for your occupation,
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make sure you say trashcan,
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and when they ask your date of birth, be sure to say 3000 BC
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You effin caveman.
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You'll notice right away that India is full of
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beautiful sites and culture, and I know what
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you're thinking, it probably smells like curry.
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And you know what, you're right.
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And it's delicious.
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And although there are approximately 175 million
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Muslims in India, there are approximately two billion
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in the whole world, which means if every Muslim
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was a terrorist, you wouldn't stand a goddam chance.
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Good thing they're not.
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Now that we're here, the good news is
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your wife can save all that money
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she spends at tanning salons
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trying to look closer to my complexion.
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Quick travel tip, if you're going to India,
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they don't kill cows there, so there's no beef.
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But don't worry, because if you kill anything,
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it'll be considered mental illness.
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So you're good.
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I hope you've enjoyed this trip
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to where you think I'm from.
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And I promise, if I ever meet a genie,
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all three of my wishes will be for you to get an atlas.
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To be honest, whether I went back to my country of Pakistan, India or even Canada,
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I don't see how that would benefit you
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since my tax bracket helps pay for your kid's education.
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You're welcome, Timothy.
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Hello, I hope you enjoyed this video.
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If you did, give it a big thumb's up.
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If you believe that we should come together
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in times of need and not let fear divide us,
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give it a big thumb's up.
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My last video's over there.
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My second vlog channel's right over there,
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and make sure you subscribe.
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Because I make videos every Monday and Thursday,
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One Love Superwoman.
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That is a wrap, and zoop!