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  • Right Jack next question

  • Turn it off! Oh yeh, sorry sorry

  • *screams*

  • Sorry

  • I forgot, I forgot

  • Nee naw, nee naw, nee naw, nee naw

  • Look me in the eyes, shine a torch

  • You okay?

  • No I'm scared, my heart's beating

  • Let me check your temperature

  • That's not how you check temperature

  • Oh sorry

  • Hello everyone

  • Welcome back to Suggy Surgery

  • Now today, my third and potentially final patient, who knows?

  • Your kidding me, now after me it's the end

  • Well the thing is I'm worried someone might actually die, during this series

  • I'm joined with Mr Jack Maynard

  • How are you feeling?

  • I'm so scared, I hate pain

  • You're meant to say pregnant

  • I'm feeling pregnant

  • Oh! Well I've been feeling a few kicks in me tummy

  • I'm not sure if it's a dodgy nandos or if I'm pregnant

  • So Jack is the third patient in the series

  • How we do it

  • Is basically, I'm gonna strap you up to the "contraction machine"

  • Which apparently emulates the way it feels to have a contraction

  • Jack all you have to do, to avoid these contractions

  • Is simply answer a question about the females

  • Yeah, females

  • The questions are in my Nintendo Switch pouch

  • Yep, that's right, I've got a Nintendo Switch

  • I can't deliver this baby with you in your normal trendy clothes

  • You know, you're gonna have to go and get changed

  • Go on, off you pop

  • As long as it's not the one Mikey wore, I don't really mind

  • No it's fine, it's not, it's not

  • Definitely a boy, sounds like a boy

  • Right, Jack, I'm gonna strap you up to the machine

  • Are you ready Sir?

  • No

  • If you'd like to expose your impregnated area

  • No, not the vagina, I don't want to see that

  • It's time for us to play

  • Baby, baby, baby, *screaming*

  • Right okay, Jack

  • For your first contraction, first question is

  • What is a maxi dress?

  • A maxi dress

  • What is a maxi dress?

  • Maxi

  • A maxi dress

  • Maxi

  • Think

  • Maximum

  • Think

  • Like length, it's a long dress

  • I'm gonna give it to you

  • Yes!

  • Ding! Ding! Ding!

  • A long dress that reaches the floor

  • Yeah that's, yeah

  • Wait so every time I get one, it goes up

  • Eight's it's big day

  • So there's eight questions

  • Do you wanna test eight now?

  • No no no

  • So is that eight questions?

  • No there's a few more than eight

  • Oh no

  • Jack, you know a lot about the females

  • You taught me everything I know

  • He has

  • Right, this one comes in from Emily Chamberlain

  • Thanks Emily

  • She says, Jack

  • She didn't say 'love you' though, bit harsh

  • I'll say four

  • Bearing in mind, it could be a trick question

  • Ermmmmm

  • The way you're holding it, is really like giving me anxiety

  • How many, Jack?

  • How many different types of orgasm?

  • Two!

  • The actual answer was eleven

  • WHAT?!

  • Which I'm__

  • I haven't even made one

  • Exactly, I am jealous

  • When do you stop?

  • I will tell you

  • *screaming*

  • No no no no no no

  • 3 2 1

  • *screams*

  • Yes, I can feel it

  • Right, next up

  • This one comes in from Naomi Mae

  • Sounds weird

  • Nothing sounds weird on this channel Naomi

  • Trust me it doesn't

  • Average cup size for a lady

  • So... the cup size is the letter?

  • Yes

  • I'm gonna chuck it out and say 'C'

  • 'C'? You're locking in 'C'?

  • Yep, I'm locking in 'C'

  • Oh Jack

  • Oh no. No. Wait what was it though

  • It was 'C'!

  • YES!!!

  • He got it

  • He's nailed it

  • Congratulations, that was a toughy

  • I like this question

  • Now other than the lovely refreshing taste...

  • Why might a girl drink cranberry juice

  • *whispers* Do you think you know this one?

  • And she's not in a club trying to mix it with vodka

  • Not that reason

  • Do girls get like cravings as well?

  • Is it something to do with their period?

  • Incorrect Jack

  • Oh no

  • It's to soothe a urinary infection

  • Oh mate, I'd never have got that

  • No no no no no

  • Here we go... (3) NO! (2) NO! (1) NO!

  • *screams* Stop it!

  • *screams*

  • Can you feel it?

  • Ahhh, yeah I can feel it

  • Is it a baby?

  • Has it arrived Jack?

  • I think it's coming!

  • Okay, on average

  • What is the most expensive style...

  • of knickers

  • That's right... knickers!

  • Is it 'A' - a thong

  • Ooo Jack, a thong

  • Is it 'B' - french knickers

  • Is it 'C' - waist clencher

  • Or is it 'D' - boxers

  • I think I've heard of this one

  • Bear in mind...

  • thongs don't have a lot of material to them

  • Is it 'C'?

  • The waist clencher

  • Yeah

  • Jack

  • Oh no

  • You've seen how intricate french knickers are

  • But you are right, it was 'C' - waist clenchers

  • It was

  • How did you know that?

  • I lived with a girl for a year and I remember her saying

  • Well, I would have thought it would be like french knickers though

  • Right, this one's from Girl Maynard

  • My girl

  • They aren't talking iPad, they're talking like pad, pad

  • They're sticky parts that... oh wait, I just gave you the answer, s***

  • That's so embarrassing

  • I didn't know where the... she didn't put 'Q' then 'A' underneath

  • Sorry Girl Maynard, I messed that up

  • I'm gonna shock you anyway

  • NOOO! *screams*

  • *laughter*

  • You weren't expecting that one were ya

  • Okay, this is a good one

  • This one comes in from Hattie Dreamcast...

  • Demarest, sorry I got that wrong

  • Dreamcast? *laughs*

  • Ahhh, remember dreamcast

  • What a console

  • ...okay

  • Did you know the answer to this one

  • I know the answer cuz apparently Tom Cruise also ate it

  • Cheeky little devil

  • The something sac, what is it?

  • Not a ball sac, give you a clue, not a ball sac

  • Ermmm, the baby's ball sac *laughter*

  • The *mumbles* sac

  • Something *mumbles* sac

  • The Theresa May sac?

  • Yeah

  • The Theresa May sac, you're locking that in?

  • The Theresa May sac...

  • I'm sorry it was the placenta

  • Four! *screams*

  • Oh my God, that hurts a lot more

  • Yeah, feel that

  • *screams*

  • Feel that, have some of that

  • Take a deep breath cuz I got a feeling you're gonna get this wrong

  • Name any of the four main characters in Gilmore Girls

  • Oh mate

  • I've never watched it, I've never watched it

  • Just give me some names, you might be close

  • Alice, Harriet, Laura aaaaaaand Theresa

  • I was gonna say if you could guess any of the first names

  • I would still give it to you but no

  • Lorelai Gilmore, Rory Gilmore, Sookie St. James and Lane Kim

  • Imagine if I guessed

  • Ermm and we'll just throw it in there, Sookie St. James

  • *laughter*

  • I'd be like, oh my god

  • Here we go

  • Five! *screams* Five!

  • Oh my *screams*

  • Suck it in

  • *screams*

  • Suck it in, get it out yet?

  • I've heard stories about you

  • I feel like you might know this one

  • Which... that sounds really bad

  • Which of these is the name of a premium vibrator

  • Wait, what?

  • We ain't talking ya bog standard cheap fidget spinner kind of s***

  • We're talking, ya premium vibrator

  • Why would I know?

  • Is it 'A' - a flounder

  • *laughing* a flounder

  • *laughing* a fish

  • a flounder

  • *laughter*

  • Ohhh a flounder

  • 'B' - a letterman

  • As in like a letter box, like hello

  • No, no it's not

  • 'C' - a cishun

  • Or 'D' - doxie

  • Flounder, letterman, cishun or doxie

  • What you gonna go with Jack?

  • Well flounder is a fish

  • Think back to, yeh but they could be named after a fish

  • You ever seen how a flounder moves

  • Yeh but a flounder isn't__

  • They flounder about in the water

  • Like this...

  • There's nothing sexy about a flounder

  • Like imagine that, imagine that, that's gonna be fun

  • I only know one of them

  • What've you heard of?

  • Which one have you heard of Jack?

  • Ermm 'D' what was it, doxie

  • I'm going for doxie

  • You're right!

  • YES!

  • It was doxie

  • I need to check your gender

  • I reckon you are actually secretly a girl

  • Jack is secretly a girl everyone

  • Next question and this is a tough one

  • What rating has the new Wonder Woman film got on IMDb

  • I keep feeling 7.5, I'm locking it in

  • 7.5

  • Oh Jack, Jack Jack Jack Jack Jack

  • It was

  • 8.3

  • NO!

  • *screams* NO!

  • Oh my word

  • It was 8.3