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  • LET'S START WITH SOME INTERNATIONAL NEWS TONIGHT.

  • DO YOU GUYS KNOW THAT SONG "DESPACITO?"

  • ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YOU KNOW --

  • ( SINGING ) WELL, THE GOVERNMENT OF MALAYSIA

  • HAS BANNED THE SONG FROM RADIO AND TV IN THAT COUNTRY FOR

  • HAVING OBSCENE LYRICS.

  • THEY COULD BE RIGHT.

  • I'VE HEARD THIS SONG TWO-THOUSAND TIMES AND I STILL

  • HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S ABOUT.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) SEE, THIS IS A BIG DIFFERENCE

  • BETWEEN THE U.S. AND MALAYSIA.

  • IN MALAYSIA, THE GOVERNMENT BANS OBSCENE CONTENT.

  • HERE, THE PRESIDENT TWEETS IT.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

  • ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, IT'S NOW POSSIBLE TO GO AN ENTIRE DAY

  • WITHOUT HEARING DESPACITO.

  • YOU JUST HAVE TO MOVE TO MALAYSIA.

  • AND THERE WAS SOME ALARMING SCIENCE NEWS THIS WEEK.

  • NEW RESEARCH SHOWS THAT OVER THE PAST 40 YEARS, THE SPERM COUNT

  • OF MEN HAS DECLINED BY OVER 50% AND, IF IT KEEPS UP IT COULD

  • LEAD TO THE EXTINCTION OF THE HUMAN RACE.

  • ( APPLAUSE ) I KNOW WHY YOU'RE CLAPPING.

  • REGGIE'S LIKE, SHORTER LINES AT DISNEYLAND!

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND THIS WAS INTERESTING.

  • APPARENTLY, THE STUDY WHERE THEY EXAMINED THE SPERM OF THOUSANDS

  • OF MEN, WAS CONDUCTED BY-- YO MAMA.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) YO MOMMA.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) AND THIS WAS A CRAZY STORY.

  • A TEXAS-BASED COFFEE COMPANY HAS HAD TO RECALL A TYPE OF

  • COFFEE THEY MAKE BECAUSE IT CONTAINS AN INGREDIENT SIMILAR

  • TO VIAGRA.

  • NOW, THIS PRODUCT HAD ALREADY GONE ON SALE.

  • AND THE CUSTOMERS WHO TRIED IT FOUND OUT ABOUT IT THE HARD WAY.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )

  • THAT WAS THE BAD NEWS.

  • THE GOOD NEWS, AT LEAST YOU'VE GOT A PLACE TO HOLD YOUR DONUT.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) YOU WERE LIKE -- IT'S FINE.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) FINALLY, THIS WAS OUTRAGEOUS.

  • A FIVE-YEAR-OLD GIRL WHO RAN A LEMONADE STAND IN LONDON WAS

  • FINED $195 FOR NOT HAVING THE PROPER TRADING PERMIT.

  • SEE, THIS IS WHY I MAKE MY KIDS OPEN ALL THEIR LEMONADE STANDS

  • OFFSHORE ON THE CAYMAN ISLANDS.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) IF YOU ASK ME, THESE COPS MADE A

  • MISTAKE.

LET'S START WITH SOME INTERNATIONAL NEWS TONIGHT.

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B1 INT UK laughter malaysia sperm news lemonade obscene

'Despacito' Meets Its Match in Malaysia

  • 590 16
    Willy Wang   posted on 2017/08/08
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