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  • And now, one of my favorite segments on this show is Why I Don't Have Kids,

  • where I show adorable kids doing terrible things.

  • And it got me thinking I could do a similar segment about a different topic.

  • How many of you here have husbands?

  • All right.

  • Great. All right. I love husbands.

  • I do. I love them.

  • They're handsome.

  • They're funny.

  • I just don't want one of my own, and here are some of the reasons why in my brand new

  • segment, Why I don't have a husband.

  • All right.

  • Here's the first one.

  • So that takes a steady hand and no steady job, I think.

  • Wow!

  • Here's the second one.

  • >> [LAUGH] >> So

  • he's got a video game control in both hands, a plate of Cheetos on his chest.

  • And they say women are the multitaskers, come on.

  • Men are multitaskers too.

  • Here's another one.

  • >> [LAUGH] >> Look Ma, no hands.

  • Also no girlfriend, and no job, and no feeling.

  • [LAUGH] In my lips.

  • Here's another one.

  • [LAUGH] Well.

  • It's the old saying, I want a man in the streets and a cartoonist in the sheets.

  • >> [LAUGH] >> Not only do I have photos,

  • I also have a video.

  • >> [SCREAMING] >> The white rhino charges.

  • >> The white rhino charging into the [INAUDIBLE].

  • >> [LAUGH] >> [APPLAUSE] He

  • seems like a gentle lover.

  • [LAUGH] Now the guy eating

  • Cheetos off

  • his chest seems like a real catch doesn't he?

  • [LAUGH] If your husband does something you think I should see, please send it to me.

And now, one of my favorite segments on this show is Why I Don't Have Kids,

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Why I Don’t Have A Husband

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    韓澐   posted on 2017/07/12
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