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- Jack, right? - Yeah, Jack.
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- How old is he now? - He's 2 1/2 now.
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Yeah. - That's a cute age.
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- It is a really fun and cute, amazing age.
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[audience aws]
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Look at that--ha ha--12th man.
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- I mean, come on.
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- Are you--are you patient with him?
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[audience laughter]
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- I--you know, it is really very easy to be patient
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with this kid, he is... - Is it?
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- just a remarkable kid. - He's good?
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- Yes. - What about the Terrible Twos?
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He's not in that? - No.
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- There's no terribleness happening?
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- From what I understand, most of the Terrible Two stuff
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comes from a kid's or a toddler's inability to express
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what they want? You know, they know what
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they want, but they can't tell you because they don't know
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the words yet? He's so vocal,
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he just never--he's-- it's not that hard for him.
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- He's talking? - Yes! And it's super
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frustrating, because you're like "All right now, Jack,
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I think it's time for bed," and he'll say:
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"Mm, I thought about it and no thanks, Dad."
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[audience laughter] "Not right now."
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And I'm like "He's so polite! What am I supposed to do?"
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He'll be like "Mm, I don't think so, I'd rather not right now."
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And I'm like "I did teach you to be polite--
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okay, you can stay up." - Wow.
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He's really manipulative. I think it's manipulation.
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- Well also, that's early, especially for a boy,
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to talk, isn't it? - From what I understand, it is.
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I mean, he's our only child, so I don't have a lot of experience
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against which to weigh his upbringing so far, but
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yeah, it's pretty early, I think.
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He's really smart and vocal. - Wow.
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I'm just gonna call him a genius right now.
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- Yeah, I can--yes, he is. He truly is.
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- That's amazing. - He says amazing things.
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Profound things. I was laying next to our bed
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while he--we made a little nest for him on this little retreat
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we took over the holidays-- - I'm sorry, you made a nest?
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- Yeah. [audience laughter]
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- Twig--we spit in twigs-- - I see.
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- There was like a tiny nest, lots of pillows and stuff, so--
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'cause we didn't have a crib, so he was gonna sleep
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on the floor in his little nest. - Uh-huh.
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- And I was sitting down and I said--
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I said "You know, Jack, there's a lot of people here
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and it's very loud, and, you know, people are going to be
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having a lot of fun, and there might even be some tension."
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And he just said "It's family."
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I was like-- I almost started crying.
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"Thank you, son, you're right." He's like my therapist.
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- Wow. - Yeah.
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- That's amazing. - It was amazing!
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- Yeah, so you don't have to worry about drinking better wine
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to be patient with him. - Yeah, [laughs].
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- If your kids were that smart, you wouldn't have anything
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to worry about. [audience laughter]
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That's the problem right there.
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So you're drinking--you know what he drinks?
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Maybe this is the ticket. You drink the Fireball stuff.
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- Yeah, Fireball! Oh, that--
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[cheers and applause] That's right.
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That's right.
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I don't know why, I don't even know why.
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It's um...I guess I liked Hot Tamales as a kid growing up?
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And now I'm old enough to consume alcohol,
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so I put the two together? - Uh huh.
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- And it's really terrific. For some reason,
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it's just what we always drink.
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- I just recently heard about it--I didn't--
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- Do you like it? - I've never had it, but
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it sounds horrible-- - It's garbage.
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It is hot liquid garbage.
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- But you know they found, like,
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something that's in antifreeze in it, you know that.
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- Really? - Yes.
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- That makes sense. [audience laughter]
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I drank some and I was, like, out in the snow in my boxers,
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I was like "This is-- I'm not even cold."
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- Yeah. [audience laughter]
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- Antifreeze. - Because you had
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antifreeze in you, that's why.
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- That--it can't have that much antifreeze, 'cause if it had
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a lot, I'd be dead by now. [audience laughter]
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As much Fireball as I've drank.
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- If we have some backstage, I'll bring some to you.
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Andy, bring out the Fireball stuff.
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- Whoo!
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[cheers and applause]
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- I don't know how much you drink.
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- That's--that's about enough. - Is that right?
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- I don't know how much you're supposed to serve,
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so I just, you know.
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- Yeah, 20 shots. - 20 is right?
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- 20 shots is right. - Okay.
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You can have one shot or whatever you want,
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because we're gonna do something that you're very good--
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no, thank you. [audience laughter]
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- Now you go ahead. - I have to drink 'em both?
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- Well you can-- whatever you want.
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- Ooh! Oh!
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- You ever smelled regret?
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[cheers and applause]
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- That'll help you fall. - That's great.