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  • Lovely to see you again!

  • Nice to see you too!

  • OK, remind everybody of your name.

  • My name is Gatis Kandis.

  • D'you know, this is the only comedian I've ever found funny.

  • Well, look Gatis. Welcome back. The stage is yours. - Good luck.

  • All of it?

  • Go on Kandis!

  • So you know that now is after few cold days, it's getting warm outside

  • and I like the warm weather

  • because it makes me warmer

  • eh!

  • That's my warm-up joke

  • When my chicken has a birthday, I don't tell him

  • because he would not understand.

  • So yeah I have another animal joke

  • woof, woof, woof, woof

  • that's a joke you can take home for your dog

  • Simon! have you got a dog?.. -Three..

  • Will you tell your dogs my joke

  • yeah i was thinking about that when you said it

  • Yeah let me hear it... - woof, woof, woof, woof.

  • I'm not sure they're gonna understand

  • can you try this my accent? - vouf, vouf, vouf, vouf!

  • thank you for making me sound so sexy

  • so does anybody like seeing couples kiss in public?

  • no?

  • well i do!

  • and every time I do I always walk to them and I stare directly at them

  • and usually they stopped and then they ask me:

  • Do you mind? and I'm like: I don't mind

  • My name is Gatis Kandis

  • and in case you want to follow me

  • this is what I look like from behind

  • your jokes are just ridiculous and i

  • like how you deliver them which is just

  • like you've accidentally found the stage

  • that you are actually like I said the

  • only comedian is really ever made me

  • laugh

  • your jokes are so stupid i find that

  • funny

  • thank you

  • gases you are real original and anyone

  • who doesn't get it is thick you know

  • what you kind of sexy as well

  • hit it

  • run away

  • please it's on

  • Oh God ever seen the movie for the

  • wishes of being strip never wanted to

  • sort of like

  • being tortured by something and we

  • couldn't make it stop

  • other than that I really enjoyed it

  • it's a yes from me

  • what's your name I'm solo from canary

  • island

  • how old are you 28 28 that's good and

  • what's your star sign Leo the Lion same

  • as me you mommy

  • no wonderful news

  • so what's the big dreams outer i want to

  • so to the whole England what I can do

  • thank you

  • collection

  • yeah she is

  • you

  • hello I just I that microfit hi who are

  • you my name is scott okay so Scott tell

  • me about you

  • well I'm a magician how do you spell I

  • just turned 50

  • ok you Mary Beth yes thank you yes yes

  • okay good well Scott good luck

  • thank you very much

  • about you that this Joan

  • someone said as we shook hands

  • she was just Smith

  • me

  • then I said Miss Jones

  • girl who understand

  • what

  • I mean it's all going terribly wrong in

  • it

  • hello ladies and gentlemen we have a

  • little child before you start playing

  • what could we have a little child before

  • you start playing can I just get your

  • education your name

  • I don't I don't

  • yeah so it was your late

  • is enjoyable will come to that what's

  • your name what's your name what's your

  • name what's your name what's your name

  • seaweed is all

  • you dream about going up that that's a

  • bad miss you

  • hey there way

  • what

  • what

  • sorry how old you retain hello dear 125

  • and we're about you from whereabouts

  • wrong

  • this

  • right

  • hello and so what are you gonna do for

  • us tonight why wouldn't everything

  • backwards because we didn't get a chance

  • to do the chat i believe all nobody's

  • gonna do we're gonna start pressing

  • those buttons again i have the second

  • was no no Michael Jackson skin that

  • everybody gonna situation which

  • everybody elegant on the news and

  • everybody dog backpack shark back

  • everybody calling and all I want to see

  • him then that's a real carabar

  • all I want to stay never real

  • thank you very much

  • don't care about here

  • I just want this to end

  • don't do it don't do it again again

  • no don't no don't do it again Amanda

  • what I think you're most welcome

  • a stupor we did michael jackson and I

  • think I've changed my mind to move on

  • oh thank you very much was original

  • yellow is a wonderful color I'm going to

  • kick this off with a yes

  • I honestly this is one of the worst

  • things I've ever little what you are

  • thinking it was

  • listen I'm sorry

  • oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

  • I let me know you more every time when

  • you leave out barely left to go

  • probably made two times in the road

  • you're funny thing for me to try to

  • explain but I don't go none of them

  • crazy right now your loves got me

  • looking so crazy right now crazy i'm

  • hoping your face right now kids coming

  • over your right now

  • 00

  • out

  • home

  • tell me home now

  • No

  • No

  • so

  • my

  • this

  • Oh

  • all

  • oh yeah pop for ya

  • knocking back for ya to talk about

  • it don't you down bag in your mound

  • my dad

  • again my killed

  • we

  • politics

  • Oh

  • i'm looking about the good talking-to

  • queenly company funding

  • hey

  • a lot

  • done

  • like

  • smiling

  • the jungle book and you love it

  • we clawed we chained our hearts in vain

  • we jumped never asking why we kissed I

  • fell under your spell along that no one

  • could deny it

  • don't you ever say I just walked away I

  • will always want you

  • you

  • Oh

  • ever take was

  • you ready

  • slur Lutz are now rashes on

  • ground

  • great

  • Oh

  • sex sex

  • seen anything like this

  • ok

  • ladies and gentlemen mom it's time to

  • fry's you huh

  • the fresh arms

  • actually doing the the x-factor guy

  • all we have to do is write the very end

  • roar like a lion

  • sorry wrong charm

  • here we could work with a whole plethora

  • of strange and fascinating creatures and

  • the obligatory wild pack of street

  • options and the balding middle-aged car

  • to the body on this i love the sexy

  • teachers the exquisite some tools but

  • most importantly the too big

  • tragically to do Jeremy you just have to

  • get a few key points in you have to

  • start low go up like this

  • Paul's and go back down like this so

  • don't you put your Jeremy it's the

  • reason to live in to god they thought

  • about work and it's working and looking

  • girl I think people just look at me

  • well done yes to do or who have to jump

  • up and down as if you're absolutely

  • busting for the toilet

  • and another died that also talks in

  • quite a better manner was not a million

  • miles

  • an impression on you do it that way it

  • he also talks very pointed and staccato

  • is this guy now to do you're dickin

  • Donnelly what you have to do is always

  • the right you're on the verge of

  • laughing out loud and

  • sharing a cheeky little in georgia with

  • members of the crew carry on camera to

  • it gets it

  • normal trust me i say anything like that

  • is this

  • it's taken totally ever decided

  • if Declan decided to go into politics

  • what you have to do is send him to Eton

  • lower his voice and then you would have

  • this job now to your forest you have to

  • act different speeds while looking like

  • you've been up all night

  • downing to kill la in a bush right

Lovely to see you again!

Subtitles and vocabulary

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A2 BEG UK woof woof joke scott sexy michael jackson warm

Top 10 FUNNIEST Auditions Britain's Got Talent 2016 (Try NOT TO LAUGH!)

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    Ray   posted on 2017/04/14
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