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- How many people here work from home?
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[scattered applause]
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Yeah.
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A lot of different names for people who work from home,
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Telecommunicate-- "telecommuters,"
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"Remote workers."
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[Laughter]
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"On parole."
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[Laughter]
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I know a lot of my viewers work from home,
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And I can't imagine really how distracting that would be
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Actually, I can imagine it.
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- Kids, kids.
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Mommy has to do a video conference,
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So no fighting, Natalie and Tootie.
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[Laughter]
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I have kids in my imagination.
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Okay, time to log on
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To the old WWW.
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[Dial-up tone blaring]
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I also have very slow internet connection
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in my imagination.
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Hello, everybody.
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Everybody
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No, my camera didn't freeze.
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I was just having fun with y'all.
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Hi, hi.
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Oh, I miss the office so much. I really do.
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I miss all of you. I wish I could be there.
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My coffee doesn't even taste nearly as—
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It's just not the same as in the break room.
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It's nothing like it.
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It's so very—
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very different.
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Doesn't-- mmm.
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Not the same at all. What?
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What am i wearing?
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This is a-- my terry cloth blazer.
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Yeah, yeah.
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They're very "in" right now. They are.
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I got it at Tarjay.
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[Laughter]
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Stop it right now! Not you, Barry.
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No, my kids were fighting. What did you say?
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The Wilson report.
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Let me take a look at that.
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I have not—
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[Laughs]
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[Sighs]
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It's a video of a cat
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That does not want to take a bath.
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I opened that by mistake.
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I'm so--it-- let me a take a look.
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I'm sure the report is funny as well
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Because it is about asbestos.
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No, okay. Not as funny, no.
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Okay, I'm looking at the report right now.
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I see in the first paragraph.
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Oh.
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No, you're doing it wrong.
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Not you, Barry. No, it's the Nick the gardener.
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He's outside. Nick, no.
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No, don't prune it back too far.
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Not--not good for the roses.
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Take the top off.
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And now you can take the tops off the roses too.
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[Laughter]
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I'm still here. I'm still here.
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That is the last interruption, I promise.
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So as far as the report goes...
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[Phone ringing]
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I'm sorry. I have to grab this.
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It's 1985. they want their phone back.
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[laughter]
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Hello.
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The man of the house? You have the wrong number.
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[Cheers and applause]
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I'm back. I am sorry about that.
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And I really, really-- I'm ready to work.
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It's just that I-- I-I-I--
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Hey, Tootie! Excuse me one second.
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Tootie, set the VCR to record "Scandal" this Thursday
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9:00/8:00 central, featuring Portia de Rossi.
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She's wonderful in it.
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Okay, back to it, Barry. I'm so sorry.
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[cheers and applause]
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No, I know we have to talk about the staffing issues
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in our third quarter earnings, but i can't do it.
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I'm gonna have to do it in an hour,
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Because Ellen is on, and she's about to dance.