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  • Mm.

  • - Mm-mm. - (Cough) Mm.

  • - Me, me, me, me.

  • Also word, me got something in me mouth.

  • Me got little cookie crumb.

  • Num num.

  • - One take Cookie, that's what they call you.

  • - Yeah, that's all me need.

  • Camera two.

  • - So you don't wanna give them any good stuff until the close-up cookie?

  • - No, me waiting for close-up.

  • Me professional monster here.

  • Me know how it works.

  • - Just give them garbage in the wide, that's right.

  • You can cheat the edit.

  • - They never use the wide shot.

  • - (Laugh) - That's right.

  • - Me gonna save the tears for the close-up.

  • - That's right.

  • No, no, no.

  • - Sorry. - For reading, for reading,

  • not for eating.

  • We'll get more into that after the break.

  • - Brilliant.

  • - You terrific.

  • - Bang, right, big swing.

  • - You so good at this.

  • - Thank you, Cookie.

  • You're a great hope man.

  • - Me in the shot.

  • You no want me in that shot.

  • Me here if you need me.

  • - Okay, on deck, he's on deck.

  • Cookie's on deck.

  • Our top story.

  • - Yeah, like that.

  • Do that again with the turn.

  • - That terrific turn.

  • - Not bad, right? - Me love it.

  • Keep it up.

  • - Ear touch.

  • - Ear touch?

  • - Something important is coming in.

  • - Do you do the one finger or the two finger touch?

  • - Two finger is something very serious had better be happening.

  • One finger- - But then two if you need it.

  • - Two if, I'm struggling to hear you.

  • - Whoa, me no believe it.

  • - Exactly.

  • - We have confirmation from Al Roker, but- - Confirmation from Al Roker does not

  • mean Al Roker.

  • - (Laugh) - Great job, Al.

  • - I'm gonna drop you like a bag of dirt.

  • I'm not telling you how to run camera.

  • - (Laugh) - (Laugh) You do not have Al Roker.

  • - (Laugh) - Expect two to three feet of GIFs.

  • That's GIFs, you want me to say GIFs.

  • - (Laugh) - Me believe it's pronounced GIF.

  • - That's what you believe.

  • I do, I believe.

  • (Sound) You know what?

  • I don't need this, okay.

  • I'm out of here.

  • - Al? Me losing Al.

  • - Al. - Al.

  • - Al. - Where'd Al go?

  • He made run for it?

  • - Where did he go to?

  • That man is a mystery.

  • Wow, he really stormed out of there.

  • So, you get it because.

  • - No quit with your day job.

  • Stick with the news.

  • Yeah, but I can't.

  • - It's okay. - No, I don't think it is okay.

  • - No, no, it's fine.

  • You're going to be fine.

  • - Because you get it, though, right?

  • - Me get it.

  • - Right. - But

  • me no think it really work, quite work in this setting.

  • - Well, it work, I mean- - Maybe on a different show.

  • - Well, fundamentally, structurally it works, it's a weatherfront,

  • there's a storm and a weatherfront.

  • - Yes, structurally it works because it's stormy, weatherman.

  • - It crosses over.

  • - But me think it just not quite get there.

  • - Well, well, it's subjective.

  • - Here the line, here the joke.

  • (Sound) - (Laugh)

  • - Not quite there.

  • - (Laugh) I'm not sure about that.

  • I think there's a line, and the joke.

  • I think it's through.

  • - No, me think it was that way.

  • - I think it's- - No, wait a minute!

  • Al!

  • - Al.

  • - Al, Al here.

  • - Is he back? Al.

  • - Al back.

  • What do you think, Al?

  • Al weighing in.

  • Al says, he no buy it - No, it's a solid weather joke.

  • Come on Al.

  • - We on to sports already.

  • - I feel this- - You can drop it.

  • - I feel I'm resolved. - It was a good try.

  • Me appreciate the effort.

  • - Well, that's passive aggressive.

  • - Do you think Grover is watching this?

  • (Laugh) Hi, Grover.

  • - Cookie Monster is back in the studio, Grover's not here.

  • - (Laugh) It's a shame, he's my favorite, hi Grover.

  • - You got cookie?

  • That solve everything. - Wow, that is your go-to, isn't it?

  • - I'm really honored to be here on TV, and

  • I guess I just wanna say thank you mom for giving birth to me and.

  • - That's good, that's good, that's good.

  • - Got a little bit of something.

  • - Yeah, better, better, what?

  • Probably a cookie.

  • - Me think it cookie crumb.

  • - Okay.

  • - Me got crumbs in here from the 80s.

  • - (Laugh) - That's-

  • - We got one.

  • It's vintage.

  • 1983 oatmeal raisin.

  • - That's nice.

  • Before the FDA stepped in, that's the real stuff.

  • - Yeah.

  • - I don't know if the.

  • (Laugh) Okay. - Is that newsroom gesture?

  • - Do you know what?

  • - On to sports.

  • - (Laugh) I think on to- - Me like it.

  • - I think on to anything.

  • - That works. - That works.

  • That's right, it doesn't just need to be sports.

  • - No, it could be anything.

  • - Okay, and onto more terrible news about the wealth gap.

  • We never quite got that.

  • - Yeah, sorry, yeah.

  • - (Laugh) - Yeah, you're right, you're right.

  • We never did the thing we're supposed to do, you're right, yeah, okay.

  • - (Sound) Let me get that leather piece in here.

  • What kind of belt you wearing?

  • - (Laugh) - (Cough)

  • - (Laugh) No,

  • don't, leave the hanky alone.

  • Can you leave me with something?

  • - That not taste very good, that not cookie.

  • - It's not a cookie.

  • - Why you not tell me that?

  • - We've learned something about trust.

  • Just savor it at least.

  • - There's no way they can use any of that.

  • - Mm-mm.

Mm.

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John Oliver & Cookie Monster Out-Takes

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    何宇睿 posted on 2017/02/16
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