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  • How many of you are on Tinder?

  • (cheers and applause)

  • Good for you for getting it started, sir.

  • Because so many people were scared to say it,

  • and then you encouraged them,

  • and then they, "Oh yeah, then me too."

  • How about Cupid? OKCupid?

  • Alright, Match.com?

  • Hinge? Hinge, Bumble?

  • Coffee meets bagel?

  • Grindr?

  • Alright, well, there are a lot of ways to meet people online these days.

  • I've never used any of them, but for all of you young people out there,

  • you won't believe this,

  • but in the past,

  • to start a relationship,

  • you had to talk to someone in person.

  • For a while.

  • And you'd have something called a "conversation."

  • And when someone rejected you,

  • they would reject you in person.

  • You could actually see their expression.

  • You would know what that means.

  • Kids, you call it an emoji,

  • we call it a face.

  • (cheers and applause)

  • But since it's so much easier to date online,

  • I think people have gotten lazier and lazier,

  • and pick-up lines have gotten worse and worse.

  • And I know this from all the research I've done,

  • and by research, I mean I found an Instagram account called Tinder Nightmares.

  • And since Tinder is a place where you can find true love,

  • sometimes twice in one night,

  • - Yeah!

  • This section over here is crazy.

  • Alright, I want to help you people out,

  • so I thought we could take a look at some Tinder pick-up lines that didn't go well and learn from their mistakes.

  • So this one is from Kevin, and his first text is at 3:30 in the morning.

  • "Hey what's up"

  • And then,

  • "Hey what's up"

  • And then,

  • "Hey what's up"

  • Alright.

  • Then at 3:46, he texted,

  • "Hey what's up"

  • He's persistent, that Kevin.

  • This next one is from Luke, and,

  • "Yogurt. Cereal. Soup. Sidney from Tinder. These are all things I want to spoon."

  • And then,

  • "My name's Sarah. Did you copy and paste that from a conversation you had with a girl named Sidney and forget to change the name?"

  • "Well, this is awkward."

  • Alright, here's a line no one would ever say in person.

  • "I heard you like whales...so do you want to go humpback at my place?"

  • Come on, America, we can do better.

  • This next one starts off sweet,

  • It's, "Gosh u are beautiful! But I'm not looking for anything. Just trying to make friends."

  • "Well thanks! And that's okay! I'm not looking for anything either, just wanna meet new people and if it goes somewhere cool. If not I have a new friend."

  • And then, "Sex?"

  • And then sex?

  • Alright, we have time for one more, right?

  • Mary? Andy? One more?

  • Alright, this is,

  • "Do you work at Subway?"

  • And then, "This better not be a footlong joke."

  • "Crap."

  • It was.

  • It was a footlong joke.

  • To see another 12 million examples of what not to do on Tinder,

  • check out Tinder Nightmares or you could join Tinder.

  • And now, here's a pick-up line that seems to work all the time.

  • It's, "Let's dance."

How many of you are on Tinder?

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A2 US TheEllenShow tinder sidney hinge kevin people

Tinder Nightmares: Pickup Lines

  • 22007 1659
    Sabrina Hsu posted on 2017/01/17
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