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I don't know if you remember this, but we've met before.
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Oh, I remember. [audience laughs]
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Do you remember this? It was really embarrassing for me.
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[laughing] Yes.
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[Jimmy] It was? Do you want me to tell --
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Yeah! I have not seen you since then.
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I have not! That is correct. - Right? No.
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But this is years ago, and I -- do you want me to tell my version of the story?
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Yeah, you tell your version. [laughter]
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I'm walking down the street, in New York City,
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- Yeah. - My friend Rick calls me and says,
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"Dude, what are you doing?"
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I go, "I'm just walking down the street."
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He goes, "I have Nicole Kidman with me,
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and she wants to meet you for, uh, maybe, to be in Bewitched or something like that"
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so I go, "Wha-? OK."
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And he goes, "I can be at your apartment in like ten minutes."
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I go, "You're going to bring Nicole Kidman over to my apartment?"
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I'm like, "OK, I don't know, what do I do? What, do I have something? What do I do?"
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He goes, "I dunno, just get some cheese and crackers or something,"
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and I'm like, "Cheese and crackers! I'm --" [babbling]
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"I don't have dinner parties, I don't have anyone over to my house."
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I'm like, "I have video games and sneakers."
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[Nicole] That's right!
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So I go and, I go, there's a deli, and I go in the deli.
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I go, "What do you mean, cheese?"
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He goes, "Get Brie or something."
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I go, "Brie?" I didn't even know what that is, I'm like, "Uh ..."
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So I go in this -- I'm on Saturday Night Live, I guess,
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or something, I don't remember, really, when it was --
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I just remember I liked you and he was like -- not now.
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[laughter] I'm married now.
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Um, but he was like, "Oh, well you can meet --"
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[laughter] [band plays music]
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- What?! - Not that way!
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[Jimmy] Wait, wait, what's going on? Wait, what?
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So he said -- [audience laughing]
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So Rick, our mutual friend, says, "Oh, you know Jimmy wants to meet you,
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and you can go over to his apartment, and dadadada ..."
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and I'm single, and I'm like, "OK, yeah, cool!"
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[Jimmy] Wait, what?!
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- Yes!
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What?!? are you talking about? - Yes!
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Did I date Nicole Kidman? Did we go out on a date?
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So I go over, though, and you're there in a baseball cap,
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and like, nothing. Just like --
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I had Brie cheese!
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And you wouldn't talk. You didn't say anything!
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You were like, "Hey. Mm. Mm. Mm."
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[talking over each other about being nervous and not talking]
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[Jimmy] I didn't know this was a thing! I thought this was a movie!
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It was like a hang, it was meant to just, I dunno.
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And then you put a video game on or something --
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[laughter]
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and I'm like, "This is so bad."
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[laughter, applause]
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It was bad.
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[foghorn sound]
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I swear, and you didn't talk at all!
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And so after about an hour and a half I thought,
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"He has no interest. This is so embarrassing."
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I had no clue at all!
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[Nicole] And I left, and went, "OK, no chemistry."
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And then I was like, "Maybe he's gay."
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C'mon!! [band plays]
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I'm outta here, take care.
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[Nicole] OK, now I'm gonna do the show!
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[cheering]
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[Nicole] So tell me, Jimmy ...
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[Jimmy] Well, doctor, I remember it like it was yesterday.
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Nicole Kidman walked in my apartment --
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[Nicole] That was our date.
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Do you remember what the apartment looked like?
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[Nicole] Like, not much.
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Anyway, we weren't meant to be, right?
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Wow, did you make a good decision.
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You made a great, fantastic decision. - You didn't! Anyway. It was like that.
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[Jimmy] Oh my gosh! I am in shock right now!
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But now, so nice, we're both married with kids.
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[Jimmy] Yeah! I can't believe I dated Nicole Kidman! This is fantastic!
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You didn't!
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This is unbelievable! Unbelievable.
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It was one of the most awkward moments ever.
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[Nicole] You're red!
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I really am! I'm in shock! - So am I!
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I can't believe it. Ha, you're definitely embarrassed!
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Yeah, I mean, wow, my gosh! Are you friends with Rick any more?
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Yes, I just saw him!
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[Jimmy] No, we don't talk to him after that, yeah.
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[Nicole] He's adorable!
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You made a much better decision. Keith Urban is so much cooler than I am.
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He's a rock star, you live in Nashville now ...
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I do, yes.
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He's always on tour, isn't he, constantly, like ...
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Yes, these country guys -- yes, he's always on tour --
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[Nicole] You're not trying to be all serious!
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[Jimmy] No, I'm trying to be serious now. Look, here's the deal:
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I'm not always on tour. I'm always at home.
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[laughter]
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Kids ... - You're working all the time!
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Did he not just play a gig New Year's Eve, right?
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He did, in Niagara Falls. - Yeah. Niagara Falls.
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The Canada side or the New York side? - Um, the Canada side.
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That's the side. - Beautiful.
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The Canada side is like lights, and it's almost like Vegas, it's fun.
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The New York side looks like a Lemony Snicket book cover.
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Sad, and like, lots of trees with no leaves on it,
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and you go, "What happened? Why is that side so much worse?"
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Canada side, that's the place to do it. - Yeah.
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It's amazing. Yeah, we gotta work on that side of Niagara Falls.
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So where does he play? - I've never been to the New York side.
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Oh, it's ... please. We'll fix it up.
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Where does he play?
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He played a big show there for about 60,000 people.
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[Jimmy] Have you ever been to Niagara Falls?
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I had before.
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[Nicole] We can't even have a conversation.
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[Jimmy] You're feelin' a little something, yeah.
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You're feelin' a little chemistry?
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A little chemistry now. But it's too late, baby!
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Ship has sailed, OK Nicole?
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Taken, OK? I'm taken, OK?
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I'm just kidding, just kidding.
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I can't believe this. What a day.
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[Nicole] I am never coming on this show again.
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No, come on! Come on! You've gotta ... they're feeling it!
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This is fantastic!
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[Nicole] I'm teasing you. [Jimmy] And we love Keith.
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We love Keith. [Nicole] I love Keith!
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We love Keith. He's been on the show. I know you love Keith more than I do.
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I'm not saying I have a thing for Keith Urban.
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I'm saying I enjoy his music, and I like him as a personality.
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[Nicole] We're now fighting over Keith.
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I don't have a --
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Only one of us here is in love with Keith [Nicole] This is a disaster!
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No, it's not a disaster. Uh, but he's always been on the show,
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and you've never been on the show. - No.
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Is this why? - Absolutely.
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[Jimmy] So odd!
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No, I just, we would watch you at home, and I'd be like, "Gosh,
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will I ever go on that show and bring that story up? Hm, maybe not."
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[Jimmy] And you did! [Nicole] And now I did!
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Anyway, let's talk about Paddington. [Jimmy] This is the best day ever, man.
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This is like a great day. Let's talk about Paddington.
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Paddington, congrats already, it's a big hit already.
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Internationally, right? - Yes.
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Overseas. They released it overseas first. [giggles]
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I remember I got Brie cheese ...
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And corn chips!
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Corn chips! I didn't get -- did I get corn chips?
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Yeah! And some old Chinese food.
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How could I buy old Chinese food? - It was in the fridge.
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It was in the fridge. It probably was. Really there was nothing there.
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[Nicole] See, I've got a good memory.
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Oh my god, I remember I got saltine crackers,
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and I didn't have ... oh, it was just really awful. I didn't know.
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And what sport do you really like? Baseball, or something ...
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[Jimmy] What sport I was into? What hat was I wearing?
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[Nicole] Yeah, you were wearing some baseball cap.
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I love that you remember I was wearing a baseball hat. Cool, man.
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[Nicole] And some sweats. [Jimmy] I was not wearing sweatpants!
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What are you talkin' about?
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It's like you went over to, like, Duck Dynasty guy's house, or something.
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I was not wearing camo sweatpants. I was dressed in a ...
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probably in a three-piece suit or something ...
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You weren't interested, so you wore sweats and a baseball cap.
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That's not true! I don't even know what you're talking about!
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Now I'm like freaking out. All right.
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I'm gonna go back to Paddington, we're gonna edit this out.
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[Nicole] Yeah. Yeah.
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The bear. - The bear.
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The little adorable bear. - It's a cute bear. It's a cute movie.
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You play the villain in the movie. - I do.
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That's a good juicy role. - Yep.
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[Jimmy] Did you always want to play -- what?
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[laughter]
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[Nicole] Can't even talk to you now!
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[Jimmy] I mean you can't even say, you're stuttering and stuff, you're so nervous.
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Only because you make me laugh now.
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I make you laugh, yeah. I always made you laugh.
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All right, so let's talk about it., my man Hugh Bonneville.
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[Nicole] So funny. So funny. - Love him. Downton Abbey, we love him.
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And there's a CGI bear and of course everyone knows the books.
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But the bear does have the most beautiful eyes.
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No, he does!
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[Jimmy] Yeah! He does!
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[Nicole] Why are you laughing?
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[Jimmy] Everyone's feelin' the sexual chemistry here,
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and it's awkward, and it's just odd.
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[band plays]
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Wanna play Mario Brothers?
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I'll show you my new Nintendo. That's pretty cool.
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I can't believe that's real, that story.