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  • April 14th, 1965

  • Dear Eva,

  • It will be almost a month since you wrote to me

  • and you have possibly forgotten your state of mind

  • I doubt it though

  • You seem the same as always

  • and being you, hate every minute of it

  • Don't!

  • Learn to say, "Fuck you" to the world once in a while

  • You have every right to

  • Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder,

  • wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting,

  • hoping for some easy way out,

  • struggling, grasping, confusing, itching, scratching,

  • mumbling, bumbling, grumbling,

  • humbling, stumbling, numbling, rambling,

  • gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling,

  • hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning,

  • groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting,

  • hair-splitting, nit-picking, piss-trickling, nose sticking,

  • ass-gouging, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking,

  • long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching,

  • searching, perching, besmirching, grinding,

  • grinding, grinding away at yourself

  • Just stop it and just--

  • Do!

  • >From your description and from what I know

  • of your previous work and your ability

  • the work you are doing sounds very good

  • "Drawing - clean - clear but crazy like machines,

  • larger and bolder... real nonsense."

  • That sounds fine, wonderful-- real nonsense

  • Do more

  • More nonsensical, more crazy, more machines,

  • more breasts, penises, cunts, whatever--

  • make them abound with non-sense

  • Try and tickle something inside you, your "weird humor"

  • You belong in the most secret part of you

  • Don't worry about cool

  • Make your own uncool

  • Make your own, your own world

  • If you fear, make it work for you

  • Draw and paint your fear and anxiety

  • and stop worrying about big deep things

  • such as "to decide on a purpose and way of life

  • a consistent approach to even some impossible end

  • or even an imagined end"

  • You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty

  • Then you will be able to do

  • I have much confidence in you

  • and even though you are tormenting yourself,

  • the work you do is very good.

  • Try to do some bad work--

  • the worst you can think of and see what happens

  • but mainly relax

  • Let everything go to hell

  • You are not responsible for the world

  • you are only responsible for your work-- so do it

  • And don't think that your work has to conform

  • to any preconceived form, idea or flavor

  • It can be anything you want it to be

  • But if life would be easier for you if you stopped working--

  • then stop!

  • Don't punish yourself

  • However, I think that it is so deeply ingrained in you

  • that it would be easier to do

  • It seems I do understand your attitude somewhat, anyway

  • because I go through a similar process every so often

  • I have an "agonizing reappraisal" of my work

  • and change everything as much as possible

  • and hate everything I've done

  • and try to do something entirely different and better!

  • Maybe that kind of process is necessary to me

  • pushing me on and on

  • The feeling that I can do better than that shit I just did

  • Maybe you need your agony to accomplish what you do

  • and maybe it goads you on to do better

  • But it is very painful, I know

  • It would be better if you had the confidence

  • just to do the stuff and not think about it

  • Can't you leave the "world" and "art" alone?

  • And also quit fondling your ego

  • I know that you, or anyone, can only work so much

  • and the rest of the time you are left with your thoughts

  • But when you work or before your work

  • you have to empty your mind

  • and concentrate on what you are doing

  • After you do something it is done and that is that

  • After a while you can see some are better than others

  • but also you can see what direction you are going

  • I'm sure you know all that

  • You also must know that you don't have to justify your work

  • not even to yourself

  • Well, you know I admire your work greatly

  • and can't understand why you are so bothered by it

  • But you can see the next ones and I can't

  • You must also believe in your ability

  • I think you do

  • So try the most outrageous things you can

  • Shock yourself!

  • You have at your power the ability to do anything

  • I would like to see your work

  • and will have to be content to wait until August or September

  • I've seen photos of some of Tom's new things at Lucy's

  • They're very impressive

  • especially the ones with the more rigorous form

  • The simpler ones

  • I guess he'll send some more later on

  • Let me know how the shows are going and that kind of stuff

  • My work has changed since you left and it is much better

  • I will be having a show May 4th to 29th

  • at the Daniels Gallery 17 East 64th Street,

  • where Emmerich was

  • I wish you could be there

  • Much love to you both

  • Sol

April 14th, 1965

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B1 UK grinding scratching ability worrying andrew nonsense

Letters Live: Andrew Scott

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    Lu posted on 2016/12/07
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