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  • Hi everyone,

  • we are BlimeyCow's favorite band, Pompton Lakes,

  • and you're watching Messy Mondays.

  • Hi Jordan!

  • (theme music)

  • A few weeks ago, we talked about

  • ten things that you should never say to a girl

  • (ding)

  • Because we all know that guys

  • need all the help that they can get.

  • But you know, girls say some pretty dumb stuff

  • to guys too sometimes.

  • So in the interest of fairness,

  • here's ten things that you should never say to a guy.

  • "It's nothing. I'm fine."

  • No! Tell me what's wrong!

  • I want to understand!

  • And I can tell that you might not want to talk about it

  • right now, but, can't you see that

  • I'm at least trying to make an effort here?

  • Give me something!

  • "Does this make me look fat?"

  • Lose/lose situation,

  • the fact that you're asking means

  • you probably think it does.

  • So either we confirm how you feel,

  • or you think we're lying.

  • When, in actuality, you probably actually

  • look really good.

  • "Here - just let me do it."

  • Nothing defeats a man's spirit more than hearing:

  • "Here - let me do that."

  • You think that you're just trying to get a task done

  • as efficiently and fast as possible,

  • but what I hear is this:

  • "Clearly you're unable to do a job as simple as the dishes,

  • I'll deal with this,

  • you can walk away and just

  • think about how incapable you are."

  • "You are so sweet! How do you not have a girlfriend?"

  • Because you won't date me!

  • "You're going to make some girl

  • really happy someday."

  • Let me demonstrate what this statement feels like

  • to a guy when he hears it:

  • Kelly here is going to act as a metaphor

  • for this statement entering

  • into a man's eardrums. Okay.

  • Watch carefully

  • (punch)

  • (strangled moan)

  • "Does this outfit show too much skin?"

  • Girls, this one is awkward for us guys,

  • cause it makes us have to admit that

  • we notice stuff like that.

  • There is no right answer!

  • Just...don't put us in that position.

  • "You're like a brother to me."

  • The feeling is not reciprocated.

  • Because, if we were related,

  • my feelings for you would be

  • illegal in forty-nine states

  • ...I looked it up.

  • "So what are you thinking?"

  • This can be very dangerous.

  • Hey, what're you thinking about?

  • Uh, well, you see...

  • I just saw that commercial for the museum

  • that was on TV

  • and then that made me think about the planetarium,

  • and then that made me think about Star Wars,

  • and then that made me think about

  • if there are going to be real wars in space

  • like, for real one day,

  • and then that made me think about

  • the current conflicts in the Middle East

  • and then that made me wonder

  • if those are even justified by-

  • That commercial was like, two seconds ago...

  • ...I know.

  • "Um, you don't have to do that for me,

  • do you think that I'm incapable of

  • opening the door myself?"

  • Obvs you are capable of opening a door for yourself.

  • I'm just trying to be a nice guy!

  • "My ex used to do that, too."

  • No one likes hearing about how they compare

  • to your former flame.

  • Ugh, are you going skateboarding again?

  • My ex used to do that all the time.

  • You know, maybe you should cut your hair,

  • my ex had long hair,

  • and I hate him.

  • I think you wear the same deodorant as my ex.

  • That's confusing...

  • This is over!

  • The end!

  • So there you go!

  • Now everyone knows

  • what not to say to everybody else!

  • I just fixed communication between the genders.

  • To recap:

  • Guys, don't be an idiot,

  • and girls, give us a break.

  • You're welcome.

  • Don't mind us.

  • We're just playing the most important game of our lives.

Hi everyone,

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Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Guy

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    Caurora posted on 2016/12/03
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