Subtitles section Play video
-
I have to do this. All the people that are waiting on me.
-
This has gone on long enough.
-
This ends now!
-
Dude, stop pushing so hard.
-
That's why you keep getting hemorrhoids.
-
It's time to DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- Duel!
-
Now remember Yugi, when you start to stutter...
-
go ahead and calm down and take it slow.
-
It's time to d- du- duel.
-
Very good.
-
News anchor: And now to Pallet Town...
-
where a local man was found guilty of animal cruelty.
-
Reporters: Ash! Ash! Ash! Ash!
-
Reporter 1: Is it true that you abused animals?
-
Ash: No comment.
-
Reporter 1: What do you have to say to people who capture wild animals and keep them in confined balls?
-
Reporter 2: What about the accusation you are part of a pet underground battling society?
-
Reporter 3: Do you regret picking a Pikachu?
-
Ash: No comment.
-
Reporter 3: Ash, what about the threesome with you Brock and Misty?
-
Hey...
-
It was always just Brock.
-
Reporters: ASH! Ash! Ash!
-
Naruto!
-
Sasuke!
-
Naruto!
-
Sasuke!
-
Naruto!
-
Sausage!
-
What?
-
Oh oops.
-
Did you just call me sausage?
-
That's not even a good joke.
-
No no no no. Sorry
-
The script must have auto corrected Sasuke...
-
to sausage.
-
You know I was just going to hurt you, Naruto.
-
But now I'm going to kill you!
-
Prepare yourself, Naruto.
-
Are you gonna do it, or?
-
Just shut up, okay?
-
Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to remember all of this?
-
I mean, do you really have to do all that sign language?
-
I mean, we already have subtitles.
-
I said, shut up!
-
Okay. Sorry.
-
Seriously, how much longer are you gonna -
-
I'm almost done! Can you just let me finish?
-
Fine! Just hurry up.
-
Okay.
-
Now where was I?
-
Say goodbye, Naruto.
-
SASUKE!!!!
-
SAUSAGE!!!!
-
I mean, it's cool that they put us in this magazine and all, but...
-
I don't really appreciate how they photoshopped us.
-
Hey, Sailor Moon.
-
I mean, I know you're the leader and all, but...
-
I was wondering, maybe we could switch planets for this year?
-
Yeah, we should do that.
-
Yeah, I wouldn't mind that.
-
No, Sailor Jupiter. We've been through this. The planets represent who we are!
-
But, I want to be Sailor Moon!
-
You're too big to be a moon!
-
You're the biggest one!
-
That's why you're Jupiter!
-
Ugh, you bitch! I'm self-conscious.
-
And, Sailor Saturn, you're the only one that can hula hoop here.
-
I said I know HULA.
-
I never said hula HOOP!
-
And I can hula hoop a little bit. I can switch with Saturn.
-
No, because you have to be Mars.
-
You're the manliest one, and men are from Mars.
-
Well, if men are from Mars, then women have to be from Venus...
-
and Sailor Venus don't look very womanly.
-
-Actually, that saying is wrong. -What?
-
Women aren't from Venus.
-
Hermaphrodites are.
-
Hermaphrodites? You mean people with both parts?
-
Yeah, a penis and a vagina.
-
I don't even want to switch planets!
-
I'm proud to have a vagina-penis!
-
I'm proud to have a Venus!
-
Well, why can't I be Sailor Moon?
-
I moon just as many people as you do.
-
Yeah, but I keep my shorts on, Sailor Uranus.
-
Are you slut shaming me?
-
(Arguing)
-
Guys, can I not be Pluto anymore?
-
(Arguing)
-
Guys?
-
(Arguing)
-
Oh yeah. I'm not part of the group anymore.
-
Hey guys, smell your armbands. It's so...
-
(burps)
-
(Arguing)
-
Slut!
-
(Chuckling)
-
Girls, right?
-
-(girl voice) Uh, what is that supposed to mean?-
-
(man voice) No, no, no, no, I just meant that girls fight a lot.
-
-And guys don't!?-
-
Yeah, I mean - but we just use our fists!
-
-So do we!-
-
If you're looking for strength,
-
if you're looking for a strong blade,
-
if you're looking...to
-
become stronger than you've ever been before
-
Then come on down to Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes!
-
Where we cut and hairstyle - ALL anime heroes!
-
Men hairstyles to women hairstyles...
-
short, long, horny...
-
We do it all here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes!
-
You want that Super Saiyan look without all that Super Saiyan training?
-
Well, I'm sayin',
-
here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes...
-
Of course we're gonna specialize in bleach and hair!
-
We bleached some of the most famous heroes in anime!
-
Heroes you probably thought were AALL natural.
-
Goku to Naruto...
-
to Lucy from Fairy Tail!
-
We even bleached Sailor Uranus!
-
I mean, Pikachu used to be brown, but we got to him!
-
'Cause like the saying goes...
-
Oh...
-
No!
-
Noooooooo~!
-
No what?
-
You - your shoelaces are untied.
-
You almost fell and uh...
-
hit these bricks down.
-
Hey, thanks man. That's really nice of you.
-
Yeah.
-
Yeah!
-
Yeaaaaaaaah~!
-
Are you supposed to be One Punch Man?
-
Yeah.
-
I can pretty much defeat any anime hero with one punch.
-
Every anime hero?
-
Yeah.
-
Oh!
-
Not too sure what I can do with that.
-
I guess I could paint an arrow on your head,
-
you could look like Aang.
-
Delivery?
-
Oh! Thank God.
-
Just, uh, sign here
-
I don't remember ordering anything but...
-
Wait, I don't think I ordered this.
-
You're from Bleach, right?
-
Yeah.
-
Yeah, that was for you.
-
I don't even know what these are.
-
What are these? Like colored rocks?
-
Yes, it says here that they are rocks, but it's a French brand.
-
So it's not "color", it's "colour"... rocks.
-
What?
-
It's Clorox Bleach.
-
Wha - what are you -
-
What are you doing here?
-
Just... dragging balls. See? (Dragon Ball Z)
-
Hey man! What's with all the commotion?
-
My shoes keep coming untied,
-
no matter how hard I tighten them....
-
Oh, I've got the perfect thing for you.
-
What is that?
-
It's a tack.
-
How is that gonna help me tighten my shoes?
-
Just stick it into your shoelace and it gets tighter.
-
It's a tack to tighten. (Attack on Titan)
-
Oh cool! This Fairy Tail shirt's only $9.99!
-
I guess you could say it's some pretty "fair retail".
-
You suck!
-
Okay! Enough with the bad puns already! Okay, I get it.
-
One Pun-ch Man.
-
Okay, you make puns. Very funny, I get it.
-
Actually, I'm not One Punch Man anymore.
-
What? The square root of 4? What? I don't get it.
-
I'm "four-root" punch.
-
Seriously? Fruit Punch? That's the best you can do?
-
Sí.
-
Okay now, you really did go too far.
-
You can't make that joke. You're Asian.
-
I know. That's why now I'm...
-
...punchink.
-
Okay, really did just cross the line on that one.
-
Actually, I'm uh... still on it.
-
Look. Enough is enough already.
-
A- Aren't you supposed to be One Punch... just one pun?
-
How many puns did you made already?
-
I don't know. Anywhere from one to a ton.
-
Wh- what?
-
Aha! See?
-
I tricked you! You crossed the "too-many-puns-for-one-video" line...
-
And now you can't make anymore!
-
So now, I can finally go ahead in this video without a dumb pun.
-
Well, you didn't say that was a rule.
-
Yeah it is! You crossed the line, so you make anymore puns.
-
If you say so.
-
Yes! I do.
-
But just so I'm clear, this line represents the last pun of the video, right?
-
Yeah
-
So, technically then, this line is kind of the line I'm saying right now.
-
What?
-
Because it's the last...
-
punch line.