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William Morris once said, "Have nothing in your house
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that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."
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These are words I live by for two reasons:
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I love being surrounded by beauty,
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and my physical surroundings directly affect my person.
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I can meditate and do yoga till the cows come home,
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but if I'm surrounded by a mess or just excess stuff in general,
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I am unable to focus, to work or to relax.
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A serene space is a requirement for my sanity's sake,
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both professionally and personally.
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Clear countertops, an empty sink, clothes put away,
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an empty desk to write on.
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That thought alone both focuses and calms me,
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but the world I live in doesn't readily meet my needs for simplicity.
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There are more products available to us than ever before.
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The 1950s-era supermarket contained 3,000 different items,
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but by the 1990s, there were 30,000 items.
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Let's take a look at a swanky Fifth Avenue apartment in 1943.
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Notice the lack of clutter,
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the negative space, the simplicity of it all.
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This is no longer the ideal,
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or, even if it is to some people, it's nearly impossible to achieve.
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We, as a society, are accumulating more than ever before,
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much of which can be traced back 25 years ago,
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to when imports to America increased exponentially,
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allowing huge amounts of cheap toys, clothes, and electronics to come our way.
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As a result of this accumulation,
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1 in 11 American households spends over a thousand dollars a year
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to rent self-storage space.
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One quarter of households that have two car garages
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have so much stuff in there, they can't park a car.
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And although US consumers make up 3% of the world's children,
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we buy 40% of the world's toys.
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So, while I find this New York apartment to be the ideal for serenity,
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it wasn't necessarily attractive to me always.
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I remember coveting my collections as a little girl.
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There was the Berenstain Bear book collection,
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the pencil collection - I don't understand -
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the Teddy Bear collection, and most importantly, my dolls.
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I wanted more of all of it. I was a child of the 80s and 90s.
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More equaled better, which equaled a happier, more fulfilling life, right?
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All I have to say is, thank God for curiosity,
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because at 19, wanting to see the world, I traveled abroad to India,
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where I spent a good deal of time
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with a bunch of joyous children that lived nearby me.
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They were happy and fulfilled,
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but they had none of the collections I had as a little girl.
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A broken bicycle tire could entertain them.
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And, when I say "entertain", I'm talking unquenchable joy
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emanating from their beings for hours at a time.
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What's more, my stuff was limited on that semester.
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Due to weight restrictions on Indian flights,
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I was only allotted 40 pounds in my backpack
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for the entire four months away, and that doesn't add up too much.
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Yet, I felt unencumbered. Life got simpler.
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It was freeing, and my days became filled with experiences, and not stuff.
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So, a seed was planted, but it wasn't enough for me to change my habits.
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I judged American consumerism,
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but I bought tons of trinkets on that semester abroad.
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Many were for friends and family,
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but many were for me.
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I shipped a huge box of tourist gear back to my parent's house.
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But this was a unique circumstance, right? Possessions equal memories, right?
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That box was proof that my life had forever changed.
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It was proof that I was an adventurer, a world traveler.
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How I came to believe otherwise has been an eye-opening experience.
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I became a minimalist when my passions and my goals
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became more important than my possessions.
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Seven years ago, I started writing in earnest. It took me by surprise.
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For the better part of my life, I had dreamed about and pursued acting,
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and here I was, rolling out of bed,
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planting myself at my desk, beyond motivated, beyond fulfilled.
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It was a passion I never knew I had.
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And I was willing to go to any lengths to continue doing it
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for as long as I was around.
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I was living in New York at the time, sharing an apartment with two roommates,
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living paycheck to paycheck, but I never felt lacking.
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After all, India had taught me the value of the experience.
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But the more I wrote, the more I needed space,
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to daydream, to brainstorm, to create.
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So, here's the thing about necessity being the mother of invention.
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My bedroom walls weren't going to magically expand.
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I had to create space within the confines I was given,
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and it was a small bedroom, packed with furniture, tons of books,
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and pages upon pages of files from my graduate school years,
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proof that I had earned my master's in Fine Arts.
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(Laughter)
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So, to create space, I started to declutter.
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I checked my desk,
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I figured, "In this day an age, when we store everything on our laptops,
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a desk is unnecessary."
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I scanned all my graduate school files, and now that I had digital copies,
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I recycled all that paper,
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and I even downsized my book collection, which kind of felt sacrilegious,
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but, after doing so, I had an empty shelf on my book case.
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That became my writing space,
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and my room got bigger.
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So, I had decluttered to the essentials, to what I knew to be useful,
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but I loved beauty, and I was in New York, and style mattered to me,
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or, I should say, New York cultivated my sense of style
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because we would all agree, I had no idea
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how to put an outfit together when I first arrived.
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So, once the city schooled me in the fine art of dressing,
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the decluttering extended to my closet, which was a good thing,
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because it was about the size of an iPhone.
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(Laughter)
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I got rid of anything that didn't make me feel like a million bucks.
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I was ruthless about it, and the result was awesome.
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Gone were the days of hemming and hawing in front of a mirror,
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wondering if I looked OK.
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When I did make purchases, I found quality pieces that lasted,
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paused to make sure I really loved them,
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then purchased sparingly.
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I like to call this "the power of pause" and "the art of conscious consumption".
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I used my teeny apartment, my teeny bedroom,
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my teeny closet and my teeny budget to develop these skills.
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And I continue to use them today,
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even though my life couldn't look more different if it tried.
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I moved to Indianapolis.
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I moved in with a man that I ended up marrying.
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We've just sold his 1,000-square-foot house
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and have moved into a 2,700-square-foot house.
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And big reveal: I'm about to have a baby.
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(Laughter)
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Seriously; I'm 35 weeks along.
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We might want to flag any doctors in the audience, just in case.
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(Laughter)
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So -
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While I moved to Indianapolis with very few possessions,
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I moved into his fully furnished house.
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And guess what the first thing I did was when I arrived?
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I decluttered.
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I love my husband, and I knew he loved me
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when we went through every item in his house,
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and decided whether to donate it, to check it, or to keep it.
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In my defense, he had become the bachelor
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that all of his friends had given their cast-off items to
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when they got married.
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But he's also a collector.
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So, when he put his foot down about items he wouldn't part with,
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I got to learn what his passions are, and what makes him tick.
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When we got married, we asked for donations to our favorite charities
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because we didn't need anything,
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but, when we got pregnant,
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we welcomed the baby showers and the generosity of loved ones.
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I don't want minimalism to shackle me
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just like I don't want to be shackled by stuff.
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So, in this season of accumulation, I have instituted the power of pause,
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and the art of conscious consumption to design a baby registry,
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I have called that list more than you'd like to know
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- conscious consumption requires a lot of research -
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and I have gone to town designing a nursery I love.
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But when the baby years are over,
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I will declutter what is no longer necessary
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and pass on the baby gear to another round of expecting parents.
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Now I'm very aware that I could be carrying a hoarder who -
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(Laughter)
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hates show tunes,
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but you know what they say,
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"When the student is ready, the teacher appears."
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So, while I look forward to discovering her sense of style right along with her,
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I also plan to use simple living to instill values in her life.
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When I teach my little girl to put her toys away in the living room,
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it won't be just because I can't stand the mess.
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It will also be because I want to teach her
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that she shares this world with other people,
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and having a healthy respect for the space you take up in it
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is part and parcel to being a worker among workers
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during our time here on Earth.
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I believe a home should be a haven,
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a place to return to, and rest, and find comfort
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so that we can better deal with the stressors
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that are inherently going to be a part of our life,
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instead of add to them.
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When asked how he created his masterpiece,
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Michelangelo said, "It was simple.
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You just chip away until you see David."
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What if our life is our masterpiece?
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And what if we chip away all that is unnecessary,
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until we see what matters most, our people and our passions?
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What would that life be like?
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So, I just want to ask two things of you before I wrap up.
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The first is I ask that you go home tonight,
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and you find some quiet, serene space, and you close your eyes for 30 seconds,
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and you imagine what your masterpiece would look like,
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one that has nothing to do with keeping up with the Joneses
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or how you think you're supposed to live your life,
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but how you truly, authentically want to.
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And then, the only other thing I ask
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is that you wake up tomorrow, and every tomorrow after that,
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and you chip away all that is unnecessary,
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until you're living your masterpiece.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)