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  • Introducing

  • the all new,

  • Completely redesigned,

  • iFhone seven, (music stops) iFhone 8 (music kicks back in)

  • When we released the iFhone 7

  • People complained that it was basically the same thing as the 6, just that we added another camera

  • But this time we made sure that wasn't the case

  • We added 2 more cameras

  • To give us the first ever quad-camera experience

  • People who think it is stupid or unnecessary to have 4 cameras on one phone

  • Just don't understand that now with the quad-camera,

  • You can take 1 picture, and you'll have 4 of that same exact picture

  • You could never do that before!

  • Just think about what you could do with that!

  • If you're a parent of quadruplets, you don't need to get all of them to sit still for a picture--you just need one!

  • You take 2 pictures, you got the point of view of a spider just like that!

  • You don't have to take 8 individual pictures anymore,

  • I mean even for video

  • The video resolution alone,

  • You film one K and you're shooting 4 K(s) now

  • Which is kinda one of the reasons why we went from the dual-cam

  • straight to the quad-cam and skipped the tri-cam

  • Because you know if you film with the tri-cam

  • the resolutions a little...

  • Well too Samsung for us, it's a little too edgy.

  • The last thing we want is for people to get heated over this and explode on us, you know.

  • Another thing that people really criticized us for when we released the 7

  • was the lack of new iPhone colors.

  • Even though we did introduce two new colors:

  • Black and Jet Black

  • people still weren't pleased for some reason.

  • So, this time around, in addition to the original colors,

  • we're also announcing a bunch of new and fresh colors

  • for the iFhone 8, ranging from Matte Black to Shiny Matte Black,

  • Light Skin Brotha Black, Jack Black, Jack Black On a Hot Day,

  • Look, I could keep going, but we'd be here all day.

  • Just know that all these new colors will never get old

  • Because they're all black.

  • Black? Black don't crack. (Phone screen shatters)

  • And even with all the things we've announced so far--

  • The craziest thing about the iFhone 8--the price.

  • You ready for this?

  • We are pricing the iFhone 8 at exactly one dollar.

  • One dollar! It's--it's pretty much free!

  • I mean, of course, there are a few add-ons that you're gonna need.

  • Just like the 7, the iFhone 8 doesn't have any headphone jacks

  • So if you wanna use headphones

  • you have to buy the wireless ones.

  • Not a big deal.

  • We did change the charger port again

  • Uh, we actually added two more charger ports to make it faster

  • All three ports are different so you have to get all three different chargers

  • And actually they don't plug into the wall anymore

  • They only plug into our 3D MackBooks so you have to get those as well.

  • Couple more fun new features for the iFhone 8--

  • We also took all of the lighting capabilities out of the iFhone

  • So you'll have to purchase the iLight

  • If you wanna use flash or the flashlight on your phone

  • We made it a lot easier to text and write messages

  • with the iBoard, so your phone actually doesn't have a keyboard anymore--

  • you actually need the iBoard if you wanna write anything.

  • The iFhone 8 comes with the premium color version of every app

  • so you also have to purchase YouTube Red and Facebook Blue

  • and Snapchat Yellow and so on.

  • Also if you want any reception or Internet of any kind

  • You'll need the iCellPhoneTowerMini

  • This one is actually not wireless so that the Internet's faster

  • so you have to bring it wherever you go.

  • Also, Siri is no longer in the phone.

  • We actually made her external

  • So you have to buy a person as well.

  • Oh, and I almost forgot to mention

  • One of the biggest new features we developed

  • Unlike the 7, which was only water resistant

  • We finally developed a way to make the iFhone

  • completely water proof.

  • All you have to do is use our new highly advanced iFhone case called the...

  • iAndroid.

Introducing

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B1 US black quad jack black charger tri matte

iFhone 8 Commercial Leaked!

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    Caurora posted on 2016/10/02
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