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  • - Most Companies strive to make their products better.

  • But at Apple, we pride ourselves on thinking different.

  • That's why with the iPhone 7, we've done something that,

  • at first, seems counter-intuitive, and then is.

  • We've made it worse.

  • - We removed the headphone jack and that's all.

  • That's the new, that's the newness right there.

  • It's just the lack of a thing that was there and now

  • it's not.

  • It's gone, it's not there anymore.

  • Tada.

  • - Once we conceived of this exciting new update.

  • Oh no, downdate, it was so beautiful in the way that it

  • allowed me to go home at two PM.

  • - It's all about simplicity

  • Everything will run through one port

  • Now, you might be asking yourself, "What if I want to charge

  • "my phone while listening to music?" Shit.

  • - Apple has always pioneered sleek beautiful

  • design, which is why you will fucking hate the literal

  • parade of (mumbles) you need to plug it into anything

  • as or more complicated than a doughnut.

  • - Oh!

  • You could just go buy a pair of Bluetooth headphones,

  • there you go, problem solved.

  • And if you normally use your headphone jack to plug

  • into your car, then fuck!

  • Fuck!

  • Fuck, you're fucked.

  • The you're fucked and then I'm fucked

  • And then I'm fucked because you're fucked

  • - Our users expect for us to introduce new

  • innovative, and exciting features every year.

  • To those users, we say, you try introducing new,

  • innovative, and exciting features every year.

  • I mean, what else do you want a phone to do?

  • Make you cum?

  • - With the new iPhone, oh this is the old iPhone

  • You know, they look exactly the same.

  • Which would make you wonder, "Why should I just get

  • "an iPhone 6 since it is cheaper and apparently now better

  • That's because please

  • Please don't.

  • - Along with the worse iPhone we're, like,

  • out of our minds excited to introduce a whole new line

  • of Apple products made with the same philosophy

  • The iPad Backs which is just two iPad Backs stuck together.

  • The iPod Brickle which can only play Brickle

  • And the Apple watch which we couldn't figure out a way to make worse than it already is.

  • - If I'm being honest, I'm starting to get really scared

  • of Jony, he's just taking away things at random at this point.

  • All the G keys on our keyboards have disappeared.

  • My car's wheel disappeared, I can't get home.

  • - Just be grateful I left you any ports at all.

  • I wanted to make it an impenetrable glass brick,

  • but Tim said no.

  • - Our design department used to have 12 people,

  • now there's only eight.

  • What happened to the other four?

  • - Careful, Tim.

  • - I miss Steve.

  • I miss Ste--

  • - Oopsie daisy! Where did Tim go?

  • The iPhone 7. Jony giveth and Jony can taketh away.

  • - Hi, it's Mike Trep from College Humor.

  • Click here to subscribe, click here for more fun things

  • and send help to keep me from sinking.

  • Please, please help.

  • Please help.

- Most Companies strive to make their products better.

Subtitles and keywords

B1 INT US iphone fucked tim apple fuck fuck headphone jack

The New iPhone is Just Worse

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    鄭小鬼   posted on 2018/09/29
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