Placeholder Image

Subtitles section Play video

  • Engrish or Japanglish marketing comes in many forms.

  • Sometimes its the man in the street, during the festive season. Proudly holding a sign

  • saying Christmas Fucking Sale.

  • Sometimes its a simple household item like string, being branded with a sinister sounding

  • title like; “FamilyRope”.

  • Er…I'm not sure what purpose they had in mind when they were branding that.

  • Or sometimes its the invention of new words altogether.

  • Tokyo Banana. Creamy. Soft. And bananaful. (Worrying noise)

  • But it's definitely one of the bonuses of living in Asia - to experience this unique

  • form of English on products and services you use in everyday life.

  • People always ask me to make a "day in the life" video, because they think it'd be fun

  • to watch me sitting in a chair all day eating biscuits.

  • But today, I will show you a day in my life, through the bizarre and wonderful Japanese-English

  • marketing discoveries I encountered, on my walk around town yesterday.

  • In the morning I went to a department store downtown to buy some cheap socks.

  • Such is the glamorous life I lead.

  • And whilst I was passing through the underwear section, a questionable brand of underwear

  • caught my eye. Namely, BLACK MAN Underwear.

  • Black man. Super Bikini.

  • I don't know if the people behind the brand were being spectacularly bold or ridiculously

  • naive. But curiously all of the models on the boxes

  • were white.

  • However, it was the paragraph on the box that really grabbed my attention, outlining the

  • remarkable grand vision behind the Black Man Underwear brand.

  • A man has freedom as a man. It is dream, loveand everything else.

  • Black man is pursuing it forever. Black man makes you to be free.

  • It is a nice taste.

  • Clearly, a lot of thought had gone into thinking that up.

  • But there were different types of Black Man underwear. There was your standard conventional

  • underwear, a bikini, and even a sport edition.

  • At least, I think it was a Sport Edition.

  • It just had Sporty Erogance written down the front.

  • In hindsight I'm not sure if that meant sporty elegance, or Sporty Arrogance.

  • Particularly, as it would take a degree of arrogance to wear the Black man Super Bikini

  • out in Public.

  • Anyway after that I went to grab some lunch and on the way I passed through the local

  • nightlife district.

  • And to my surprise I stumbled across a Secret Sexy Club.

  • But how do I know it was a secret sexy club?

  • Well it said so on the 30 foot billboard out the front.

  • You'd think that'd be the first rule of secret sexy club wouldn't you?

  • We do not talk about secret sexy club.

  • Because by telling people, you're secret sexy club, inherently, you're not a secret

  • sexy club.

  • It's not a secret is it?

  • Then again, I'm probably overestimating the thought that goes into naming these clubs.

  • Especially as the club next door was calledClub Bitter

  • Club Bitter. I bet it's good fun in there.

  • At the end of the day though, if I had to enter one of the clubs i walked passed, I'd

  • have to go with Sexy Friendly Club. It may lack the flawed secrecy of secret sexy club

  • - but at the end of the day you want the chance of sexy friendship don't you.

  • That's one of the key factors you look for, when you enter one of these incredible clubs.

  • For lunch I went to a noodle restaurant and grabbed a dish that described itself as having

  • Pleasant aftertaste in which sourness and pungency harmonise in exquisite balance.

  • And if that didn't sound appealing enough, it also came with plenty of vegetables and

  • it was women-friendly.

  • Which are two of the essential things I look for when choosing a dish.

  • Weird description aside it was actually quite nice.

  • And it was also a Vegan restaurant which is somewhat out of character for me.

  • But I'm a bit weary about meat these days, more specifically, chicken.

  • Ever since I was walking passed this chicken restaurant and it was a restaurant that specialised

  • in chicken.

  • And on the side there was a picture of a chicken with all the different parts that you could

  • eat.

  • And one part of the chicken set alarm bells ringing. It was a part of the chicken labelled

  • as

  • Bon Jovi. They were halfway there alright.

  • Half way up a chickens

  • So, I've been actively avoiding eating Bon Jovi chicken ever since

  • After lunch I was walking through a shopping mall - and it was a really annoying shopping

  • mall. Every 2 meters there was a sign saying the mall, the bargain.

  • And I couldn't help but think - that's nothing to brag about is it? One singular

  • bargain. You know I wouldn't put that everywhere.

  • One of the shops caused me some concern though. There was a discount children clothes shop

  • calledStarvations

  • Starvations - again I don't know what compelled them to use that as their name.

  • Presumably, at some point during the store's conception, some people in a room thought

  • it up. “Maybe we should brand our new chain of

  • stores around the theme of childhood innocence and wonder

  • Nah fuck it. Let's name it after an extreme form of malnutrition.”

  • But in the end I did actually manage to grab the bargain in the form of this delightful

  • towel.

  • Sometimes there's an item that's got such brilliant english that you have to buy it

  • spontaneously there and then.

  • You see, I'm alway looking for chances to enhance my masculinity - and what better way

  • than through this Men's Wide and Long Towel.

  • Thoroughly wash your manly body. That was a call to arms I simply couldn'tignore.

  • It also describes itself as “A large towel that can thoroughly wash every corner of a

  • bulky man's body! Clean up like a man!”

  • There's even a little area in the corner where you can touch the toweltouch the

  • manliness.

  • Coor yeah. It feels like sandpaper. Fuck yeah.

  • Best of all there's details on the back of how to use thisthis manly towel.

  • Even a small amount of soap will foam well and the rich and creamy foam will cleanly

  • rid the skin of dirt.”

  • Rich creamy foam. Yeahsuch manliness. I'm going to have fun with this later.

  • In the evening I went for dinner with a friend to a 1950's styled pub chain called Hanbey.

  • It's a really cheap, the food's amazing, but it's the menu that really blows my mind

  • every time.

  • Honestly, it is the most ridiculous menu I've ever seen. It must have been conjured up by

  • someone who was taking something rather special.

  • For example, above the section for sashimi, for raw fish, there's a somewhat distasteful

  • girl remarking “I think I fit well in sake, please Daddy.”

  • You what. Imagine if your daughter came up to you and said that.

  • Then above that there's a dish called Monster Priest Octopus Sausage.

  • Which sounds like the something David Lynch would think up.

  • And what better way to wash that Monster Priest Octopus Sausage down than with the

  • Cinnamon Water of terror

  • And my perhaps my own personal favourite; “Fly like a scallop…”

  • I quite like that, it brings back nostalgic memories fromFly like an Eaglefrom

  • Space Jam.

  • Although fly like a scallop lacks some of the punch from the original version.

  • But as English menu's go, Hanbey's is surely the craziest of them all.

  • So there you have it in - a day in the life of crazy english.

  • How about you though? what have you found on your travels. Let us know in the comments

  • section below!

  • And if you want more bizarre examples of Japanese- English, check out last years video on my

  • reasons why Japanese-English marketing is amazing.

  • A colourful waffle design enables the co-ordination of I liking. And I was so confused I actually

  • ended up buying it.

  • Thanks for watching guys. I'm off to wash my manly body.

  • Although it does actually feel like sandpaperthat wasn't an exaggeration.

  • If my face is red and torn apart in the next video, you'll know I've been using this

  • manly towel - god forbid. See you then.

  • Damn, I quite want to watch Space Jam now. I haven't seen that in like 16 years.

  • Bloody hell. What a great film.

  • Ah it is quite good though isn't it?

Engrish or Japanglish marketing comes in many forms.

Subtitles and vocabulary

B1 INT UK club sexy black man towel chicken underwear

Crazy ENGRISH | Wonders of Japanese-English Marketing

  • 336 1
    Kana kawai   posted on 2016/09/08
Video vocabulary

Go back to previous version