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  • (music)

  • Thor: You want me to put the hammer down?

  • (large explosion)

  • (coughing)

  • Captain America: Are we done here?

  • Loki: Hello!

  • Iron Man: You're still here?

  • Loki: Yes...

  • Thor: Why didn't you run away while we settled our

  • differences?

  • Loki: I'll never tell! Muhuhahaha...

  • Hmmhmmhmmhmm...Muhuhuhahaha...hahahahaha!

  • Captain America: OK, we are not taking him back to base.

  • He is DEFINITELY up to something!

  • How The Avengers Should Have Ended

  • Cap: Whoa! Haha! Shield!

  • Iron Man: Gentlemen, right this way!

  • Hawkeye: (unintelligible)

  • (Hulk roars)

  • Thor: Ha! Here comes the hammer!

  • Black Widow: Pew pew pew!

  • Captain America: Captainball!

  • Thor: --from whence you came!

  • Nick Fury: Say what again! I dare you! I DOUBLE dare you!

  • (Black Widow yells)

  • Hulk: Puny god, puny god, puny god!

  • (Iron Man grunts)

  • Iron Man: Tank missile!

  • (Hulk pants)

  • Iron Man: Hey, you guys ever had shawarma?

  • (music ends)

  • Superman: This place serves food?!

  • Iron Man: Yeah. You never had shawarma, either?

  • Hulk: SHAWARMA!

  • (hungrily devours shawarma)

  • Captain America: Why do I have to sit on Hulk's lap?

  • Thor: Mmm! Another!

  • (smashes)

  • Batman: Hey...I'm Batman. You want to know my secret

  • identity?

  • Black Widow: ... why?

  • Superman (clears throat): So, you guys had quite a

  • weekend.

  • Captain America: Heh, that's an understatement.

  • Superman: First you guys were all against each other, then

  • your buddy got killed, so you're suddenly friends...

  • Hulk: Pffh! Someone die?

  • Iron Man: Uh...yeah, you kinda missed out on that part.

  • Black Widow: But luckily you still wanted to be friends later.

  • Hulk: Oh.

  • Batman: Right, you fell from the sky and conveniently

  • learned to control your rage...

  • Superman: And did you steal a motorcycle?

  • Hulk: Um. Details not important...

  • Superman: Details like Odin being able to send Thor back

  • to Earth?

  • Thor: What?

  • Batman: Or the professor conveniently making a way to

  • close the portal? That worked out well for you guys.

  • Superman: Or the Chitauri all dying "Phantom Menace"

  • style after the nuke?

  • Batman: Yep. One convenient thing after another...

  • Captain America: Hmm, kind of like your utility belt!

  • (Avengers laugh)

  • Iron Man: You know what I think? I think you two are just

  • jealous that we knocked it out of the park.

  • (Avengers indistinctly cheering)

  • Hawkeye: Sorry, guys...

  • Batman: I'm not jealous. I'm Batman...

  • Superman: I guess I would be jealous... if I wasn't, like,

  • all of you combined. If I couldn't fly or shoot lasers or

  • catch missiles and see really far, smash buildings and wear

  • red, and...

  • (money rustling)

  • Iron Man: What's that? You're fading out...

  • Captain America: Whoa! We've broken too many records!

  • Thor: We can't hear you through all this box office money...

  • (Avengers laugh)

  • (Batman sighs)

  • Hulk: Shawarma!

  • (epic music plays)

  • Hawkeye: Natasha? Do I have a mark on my face? It really

  • hurts...right here.

  • Not here...or here so much, but right here.

  • Black Widow: Nope. Ship shape.

  • Captain America: Hey guys, time to suit up...oh my

  • GOSH, what happened to your face?

  • Hawkeye: I knew it...

  • Captioning by Evan Reynolds

(music)

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How The Avengers Should Have Ended

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    文政 posted on 2016/07/29
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