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Hey, guys. Welcome to engVid.
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Is it a lot harder for you to speak English around native speakers than it is to speak English with other learners
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or people from other countries who are speaking English as a second language?
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So, do you forget your words, do you lose all your confidence when you're speaking to someone from England, for example?
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If your answer is yes, then I have some advice for you
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so that you can speak with more confidence around native speakers.
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I think the most important point, where I want to start,
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is that: Don't look at the native speaker as if they're up here and better than you in any way,
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because sadly, that is why a lot of people get awkward and stop talking around native speakers
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because they think: "The native speaker's English is just so good. I'm going to sound like an idiot next to them."
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And that's why they close down and go quiet. So, the next time you're around a native speaker,
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speak to the native speaker on a level with them.
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It means: "You're here, I'm here, I'm not looking up at you, you're not looking down at me",
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and that is a really important step to bringing that confidence to you when you're speaking around the native speaker.
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The next important point is: Some people are confident speaking English around other learners or other non-native speakers
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because they think:
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"When I'm speaking to this person, they don't know if I'm making mistakes, so I can just say this, say that, say this, and
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it doesn't matter if... In fact, it doesn't matter if I make mistakes because the other person doesn't know; therefore, I feel relaxed."
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But the problem when you speak to a native speaker, then, is that:
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"Oh no, they are going to know all the mistakes that I'm making.
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They're going to notice that I'm saying it wrong. It's... I... I don't want to speak
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because they're going to think that my English is so bad."
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Well, it is... It is true that
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a native speaker, if they're analyzing your language and watching your language and if
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they care about your language, they can notice: You made a mistake there, you made a mistake there, you made a mistake there.
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But the reality of communication is that most people are not thinking about that kind of stuff when they talk to you;
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they are communicating in the moment, they're thinking about themselves, what they're going to say.
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They're not watching you and your language closely.
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The native speaker just doesn't care about your language that much.
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The native speaker doesn't care about your mistakes as much as you think about your mistakes and worry about your mistakes.
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Speaking as a native speaker, now, as a native speaker teacher, when I'm talking to someone,
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I have to switch on and concentrate if I want to listen for people's mistakes.
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It takes effort and it takes energy. And if I'm concentrating on listening to the words to find mistakes,
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it means that I'm not really in the middle of a conversation with that person.
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Instead, I'm just listening to: Are they making mistakes? So in my normal communication,
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my normal social communication with people, of course I'm not listening closely for mistakes, because I'm having a conversation.
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It's so far away from my mind and it's not important to me at all.
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So I hope, as an example, that gives you some confidence to think that:
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"Oh yeah, maybe native speakers don't care about my mistakes that much."
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Which brings me to the next point, which is: Even if you are making mistakes, is it really that important?
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So instead of having this way of looking at yourself when you make a mistake:
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"Oh, it's terrible, it's really bad. I have to... I have to learn more. I have to avoid it."
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Try instead to develop and grow in yourself the ability to make those mistakes with what I would call vulnerability.
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"Vulnerability" means allowing yourself to show a weak side,
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I think is a good description of vulnerability. You know, it would be great if you could speak to that person
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in the same way as you can speak in your native language, say exactly what you want without any mistakes, all perfect.
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It would be great.
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But the reality is you're still learning a language,
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and nobody in the history of the world learnt a language without making mistakes along the way.
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So allow yourself this vulnerability, and allow yourself to exercise that vulnerability
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so that you get good at being vulnerable when you're speaking a language,
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rather than: "Oh, no, I don't want to make a mistake, I don't want to make a mistake, I don't want to make a mistake."
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So rather than stop, you know, trying to make these mistakes so much,
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be seeing it as a good thing to try speaking, try speaking as much as possible to whatever level you can speak,
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and if mistakes happen, okay.
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At least I tried.
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The next point is a really, really simple one.
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If you're around a native speaker and you don't understand or they're speaking too fast,
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it's really okay to ask them to repeat themselves,
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to say it more slowly, or to say: "I don't understand", or to say: "Can you say it in a different way?"
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or to say: "I'm sorry, I don't know that word. Can you explain it?"
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Again, speaking as a native speaker, sometimes you meet someone
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and you can, based on the first impression that you get of the person, you think:
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"Oh, their English is really great", because their accent is good or for whatever reason, you just presume
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that their English is really great. And when a native speaker gets that impression of you, then
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maybe they'll speak really fast and they'll be using hard words
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because it seems like your English is great and you understand them. And when that happens, a lot of the time the
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person learning English is like: "Ah, I don't understand anything, I don't understand anything",
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because you're now getting native speaker normal talk. that's really, really hard.
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So in these situations, it's a great thing to... To say: "Slow down" or "Say that again", and
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there's nothing... Nothing wrong with doing that.
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So there you are. These are my tips for you, if you're shy to speak around native speakers.
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When you get... When you come across a native speaker next time, take the opportunity,
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see yourself on a level, allow yourself to make mistakes with that vulnerability,
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and from there comes increased confidence when you speak English to native speakers.
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Thank you so much for watching, and for today's video, you can do the quiz,
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and it would also be really great if you leave a comment with any other tips that you have for increased confidence
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when you're speaking English to native speakers.
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Thank you for watching, and see you. Bye.