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We all say we want to be with someone nice; it sounds so plausible.
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-Did I tell you about this date last night? -What happened?
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It was, I mean, the worst!
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You think they're not going to get any worse, but then they do!
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Just doesn't make sense, I mean, you're clever, you're pretty, you're funny; why can't you find the right man?
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-Thank you! -Yeah
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Well, all I'm looking for, I don't think it's too much to ask, is someone who's, you know kind, funny, nice, and normal.
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But in practice it's pretty hard to deal with niceness when it does come along.
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So I didn't run; it's so embarrassing!
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Would you like to go out for a drink sometime?
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-Yeah, okay! -Yeah, like, I could call you about 9 o'clock after work?
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-Yeah! Cool! -Brilliant!
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A tiny part of us might think "If they're any good, why are they interested in us?"
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I had the most amazing time last night.
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Thank you.
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I love the color of your hair.
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If we aren't totally convinced of our own lovability, another person's affections could be a bit unnerving.
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"Wouldn't they rather be with someone else? Is something wrong with them?"
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Their niceness can be so unsettling you might even try a trick or two.
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Oh, hi! It's, it's me.
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It's Hannah?
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People who treat us like shit can seem like they understand something profound about life and about us.
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Yeah, no, I'm, uh, I'm just at the office at the moment, yeah.
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Thought I'd call, see what you were doing, if you wanted to hang out.
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Uh, next week, sort of, time is good. I'll call you.
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Uh, or yeah, no, uh, you-you call me, an-or we'll figure it out.
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Their assessment of us is more align with our assessment of ourselves.
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We shouldn't hold it against nice people if they like us.
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Maybe they see something in us we've overlooked.
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But you, the nice ones, shouldn't be naive either.
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It's very frightening to have to deal with niceness.
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It can be unfamiliar. It can freak some of us out.
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So be ready for us to panic and hang on in there.