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  • [tranquil whistling music] Somewhere deep within the Swedish Jungles...

  • There's a Pokemon right fucking here.

  • *sniffs*

  • The rarest Pokemon...of them all.

  • *spits*

  • I haven't showered...

  • I haven't taken a shit...

  • I'm constipated.

  • Hold on, let me -- let me check my GPS.

  • Where is it?

  • It's nearby.

  • I found one!

  • [dramatic music]

  • You didn't see me, but here I am

  • They call me Beast Master 64

  • I'm the greatest Pokemon hunter alive

  • I've been on the hunt

  • for 84 days

  • Where is it?

  • *sniffs loudly*

  • What - what's this?!

  • I'm getting closer.

  • I was unarmed, outnumbered...

  • But I caught a Blastoise.

  • It had no arms

  • but I got that sucker.

  • No one sees me...

  • I am the danger.

  • You getting this?

  • You fucking getting this?

  • [unintelligible talking] Ow

  • [laughing]

  • Ow, my balls!

  • [laughing]

  • Ah!

  • False alarm.

  • I used to have a Magikarp in my Pokedex.

  • It evolved into a Gyarados but I snapped its neck before it happened.

  • *explodey-snapping noise*

  • I still think about the sound.

  • It puts me to sleep.

  • A Machamp tried to wrestle me

  • but I got him.

  • With my ass hole

  • I punch a Charizard in the face he never even got up

  • I stole a Pikachu from a child.

  • And then I...

  • ate it.

  • Beast Master 64!

  • I use a Geodude as a fucking football!

  • There's at least four Pokemons in this area.

  • Look there's one right there!

  • Do you see it?

  • *camera man* Wait where?

  • Right there, between the benches.

  • It's a Snorlax.

  • [Pokemon Go music starts playing]

  • You're telling me you don't see it,

  • It's right fuckin' there mate!

  • [Pokemon Go music]

  • *camera man* There's nothing there..

  • Some say it's a dangerous profession,

  • But I...I'm not--

  • WOAH, get down, get down!! [Pokemon Go music]

  • There's a Machamp right there.

  • Right fucking there, you see it?

  • [Pokemon Go music plays]

  • Say my name again.

  • There's a fuckin'...

  • Machamp...

  • In two pieces.

  • You're telling me you're not seeing this?!

  • I will eat his legs tonight

  • You're telling me that's not real?

  • Pokemon are real.

  • They're right there.

  • Listen mate, listen...

  • No...

  • Pokemon are real!

  • Shut up!

  • Shut the fuck up!

  • They're real, goddammit!

  • POKEMON ARE REAL!

  • OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!

  • *screams in despair*

  • Wait a minute...

  • He's right...

  • No, no...

  • *sobbing*

  • *groans*

  • Why?!

  • *sobbing*

  • All these years, I've been hunting...

  • It was all in my head.

  • It was in here.

  • But if Pokemon aren't real...

  • How can our eyes be real?

  • Wait!

  • What the fuck is that?

  • That's a Pokemon!

  • That's a Pokemon, right there!

  • That's a Pokemon!

  • I'm not fucking falling--

  • Cameraman: Oh my God...

  • BM64: That's my Pokemon!

  • [gunshot]

  • [dramatic music]

  • *sigh*

  • If Pokemon aren't real...

  • Then dogs aren't real either...

  • *quiet sobbing*

  • *heavy breathing*

  • [gunshot] [Rest in Peace Edgar]

[tranquil whistling music] Somewhere deep within the Swedish Jungles...

Subtitles and vocabulary

B1 INT US pokemon fucking real music sobbing gunshot

POKEMON GO | GOING TOO FAR?

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    風消遙   posted on 2016/07/10
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