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  • I don't hate school, but I'm still happy that I no longer have to go there.

  • Cyprien, you're in danger of death, you have 2 choices to stay alive.

  • The first choice, I send you back in time with this remote,

  • No no no, not that!

  • The second choice, I make you listen to a little song that I wrote, it's super cool.

  • No no no, I'll take the first choice.

  • Too bad for you, it was a great song.

  • Teleportation...

  • It's been several years since I finished school.

  • However, I can't forget all of the little things that I hated in school,

  • they're little things but they all annoyed the hell out of me...

  • The pencil lead that stays in the pencil sharpener...

  • When I smudge a line that I drew with my ruler...

  • Trying to use a glue stick and there's no glue left...

  • So I have to try and use the little plastic thing to get any glue out...

  • So when you do that often, that means buy a new glue stick.

  • Crumbling my paper when erasing...

  • Putting my hand under the table and touching a piece of gum...

  • Ew!

  • My neighbor who does everything to avoid being copied...

  • Entering the wrong room...

  • Sorry for the... bye!

  • Chewing on someone else's pen...

  • You're chewing on my pen dude...

  • Oh pouahh...

  • Emptying my pencil sharpener in my bag...

  • Stabbing myself with the compass point when I put my hand in my bag...

  • Oh fuck!

  • (The compass) AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

  • When the teacher erases the board but leaves a bit...

  • At that moment I really get the urge to take the eraser

  • and scrub that damn board so that it's totally clean,

  • it's not that hard to do but I don't do it, otherwise

  • people will think I'm crazy and I'll be humiliated for the rest of my school life.

  • Looking at my watch twice in the same minute...

  • Dammit!

  • Getting pen ink on my fingers while putting on the cap...

  • So I try to get it off with an eraser but my fingers stink afterwards.

  • When the teacher wants to call on someone.

  • So who's gonna do this problem?

  • Here, the technique is to avoid all eye contact with the teacher.

  • Cyprien!

  • Fuck...

  • But what annoys me the most in school, is when the teacher is absent...

  • So it's been 15 minutes... should we leave?

  • (Everyone) Yeah, yeah...

  • Sorry for being late, get out your books and turn to page 43.

  • Shit!

  • But not everything sucks in school.

  • There are even some small moments of joy,

  • it's not very often but I love it.

  • (substitute) the teacher is absent.

  • YES!

  • (substitute) We're going to watch a movie today.

  • YES!

  • (substitute) There's a protest going on.

  • YES!

  • (substitute) What exactly are we protesting?

  • Who cares!

  • My worst enemy at school, I remember like it was yesterday... *BOREDOM*

  • When I was getting bored in class, I could do whatever I wanted,

  • but no matter what, nothing was more interesting than the class in progress...

  • The non-exhaustive list of what I would do when I was bored in class:

  • Making squares in graph paper.

  • Putting my finger in between the binder rings to see if it hurt.

  • And I can say that it hurt a little but not much.

  • Now I know.

  • The girls would write SOLEIL (sun) with their calculators.

  • The guys would write ELLE BAISE (she fucks) with their calculators.

  • Taking out shards of paper from spiral notebooks.

  • In the category of drawing:

  • The rabbit behind the wall,

  • The "S"with the weird shape,

  • The flowers with the compass

  • and filling in the squares on graph paper.

  • Collecting the beads inside ink cartridges...

  • I admit, there was no point to that.

  • But if ever needed some, I would've had them...

  • Building a blowpipe with an eraser.

  • Making holes in an eraser.

  • I made plenty of those, I don't know why.

  • Bouncing my pen.

  • That was pointless, but I did it anyway.

  • Playing with the cap of my pen until it was bent...

  • Listening to music with a headphone in my sleeve...

  • That was smart.

  • Building a missile with an empty pen, paper and glue...

  • Straight into the ceiling.

  • Of course when I was bored, I talked to my neighbor,

  • but be careful, you can't get caught by the teacher, and

  • as a result I developed some super skills.

  • I was the best at "red light, green light".

  • Very interesting, please continue sir.

  • Don't get me wrong though, I worked hard at school.

  • A bit...

  • A tiny little bit...

  • A teeny tiny little bit...

  • And you, what do you think of school?

  • Leave a comment, make yourself at home!

  • Subtities by abaziky98 :) Sous-titrage par abaziky98 :)

I don't hate school, but I'm still happy that I no longer have to go there.

Subtitles and keywords

B1 INT pen eraser glue school teacher substitute

Cyprien - L'école

  • 354 4
    nhchyy   posted on 2016/05/28
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