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How many of you are on Instagram?
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Okay.
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Did you see that they changed their logo this week?
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Did you notice that?
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Yeah.
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Here's the original one, and then this is the new one.
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They thought the original one looked old, and as we all know, looking old is the worst thing that can happen to anybody.
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A lot of millennials are freaking out about it, which might seem ridiculous to older people, but remember how upset we all got when they switched Darrins on Bewitched?
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That was really frustrating us.
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You can't just do that.
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Thanks to Instagram, now every day has its own different hashtag.
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It used to be simpler.
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Like people were sad on Monday, and they were happy on Friday, and on Wednesday we would hump.
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Now, today, I thought I would actually teach you about the different Instagram days because I am young and hip.
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And I know what the kids are up to and down with, and I Netflix and chill.
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And I know what Fetty Wap means.
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And I do alcohol.
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And I know about Instagram.
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So, today is Monday.
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So you're supposed to post a picture of a guy that you have a crush on.
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It's called Man Crush Monday.
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This is a tough one for me.
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Because I haven't had a real man crush since about 1974, but I did come up with a perfect guy for this one.
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He's young, he's handsome, he has amazing hair.
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Not Harry Styles; it is my puppy, Kid.
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Aw.
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I have a crush on my puppy.
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#Adorable
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Now Tuesday is known as booze day, which I think it's always been.
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Wednesday is woman crush Wednesday.
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Now we're talking.
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Obviously mine would be Portia.
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But some people post pictures of women that they fantasize about; like my writer Troy posted this sexy green M&M.
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That's who he fantasizes about.
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You have to know Troy really.
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Then I think everybody knows it, throwback Thursday.
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And then Friday they call flex day Friday.
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You post a picture of yourself after you go to the gym.
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I didn't go to the gym so I'm gonna just show you a shirtless picture of tWitch because that's...
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That's pre Magic Mike, that's before you really ...
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Yeah, that was the day right there, that was...
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That I waxed you? Yes, that was the day I waxed you!
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Yeah, what happened after that, yeah that was the last time I smiled for that day, that was it.
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So, Saturday, I think, is my favorite.
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Saturday is Caturday, they call it, so you post pictures of cats.
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So, I mean... like, for example, this one here.
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I know!
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Or this one here.
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Or this one here.
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Or this one here.
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I could do this all day.
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One more.
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There.
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Okay, this is why I don't have time to go out on Caturday nights.
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Because I'm home.
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But here's the thing.
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I don't think that you should have to stick to these themes.
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I mean, you can make up your own.
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For instance, Kim Kardashian decided that on every day that ends with a y, she posts a naked selfie.
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That's what she does.
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And for me, every day is #dancingday.