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- Pork E. adjusted his silver codpiece,
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flexed his well-sculpted glutes,
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and prepared for the biggest battle of his life
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with Nags the Mosqueezo.
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But what he didn't know was that she had just given birth
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to 12,000 baby mosqueezos!
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Disengage, Dingernauts.
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We don't shoot mothers in space.
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- Dinger.
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- Everyone, you're in for a treat.
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Meet my coworker Mads--
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the inspiration for the evil overlord Nags the Mosqueezo.
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all: Ooh.
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- It really does look like she had 12,000 babies.
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- [scoffs]
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[upbeat music]
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- This is America
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Land of dreams
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Everyone can climb higher
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- Not you, though
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- You're stuck here
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- 'Cause you're a part-timer
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- Yeah!
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- You can do anything
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- As long it's not hard
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- And you can go anywhere
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- As soon as you get a car
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- You're gonna be a huge success
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- Come on, that's not who you are
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- You're a part-timer cursed with full-time dreams
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And this low-paying job
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Is as bad as it seems
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Bad as it seems
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What the [bleep] are you doing here?
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Whoa
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What the [bleep] are you doing here?
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Oh
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-Seriously, dude. - Like, what the [bleep]?
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[creaks]
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[crashes]
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- Dinger's fan fiction is really good.
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- You're only saying that
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because he gave Pork E. a huge wang.
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- No, because he nailed me perfectly,
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down to the huge wang.
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- Well, you're the only one he nailed.
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Ella has a third boob that shoots lasers from the nipple.
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- Yeah, Ermagerd and her third
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are intergalactic bounty hunters.
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I need that tit.
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- So it's just me that he got wrong.
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Nags, a giant mosquito overlord?
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- My character's a little off too.
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- You're an anxiety-ridden robotic caterpillar
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with an android butterfly growing inside you.
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It's a euphemism for puberty.
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- Crap.
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Nailed it.
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- Push from your core. Tighten your butthole.
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Now stop.
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Pete, this new parking spot is gonna shave
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a full 35 seconds off my work walk.
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And you know what I always say, right?
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- No.
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- ABCT-- "Always be cutting time."
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- Roger that.
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- You know what you get when you cut time, right?
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- No. - You create time.
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And with that time,
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take it, lock it away for the future.
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You know what this spot needs?
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Some class.
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You know that guy that owns that nightclub down the street?
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He can give us a killer deal on some velvet rope.
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- "Velvet rope"? - Oh, you hear that?
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Oh, that's time slipping away, slipping away, slipping away.
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Come on, Pete. - I feel my life slipping away.
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(Executive Parking Only) - What the-- [clicks tongue]
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Anton, we ain't got time for that.
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- This is created time, Lori.
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This time doesn't even exist yet.
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- Okay, great. I'll be at the Korean spa for about five hours.
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Don't call.
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- I'll just be enjoying my new executive parking spot.
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It's gonna look so good with a velvet rope.
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- So, in conclusion,
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the conversion rate is 17 gravitons to one Uncle Sam.
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Great question.
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- I have a question.
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- You, shorty in the front.
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- [sighs, clears throat]
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I just feel like in your description
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of Nags the Mosqueezo,
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there's an overlooked core of helpfulness and efficiency
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that is missing from your description
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and makes her feel, perhaps, unseen.
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- So what's your question?
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- Why does my character suck?
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- Oh, 'cause she needs blood to survive.
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- "Exorctly." [watch alarm beeping]
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Dingernauts, you're in for a treat--
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the showstopper of the tour.
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Take five, and I'll be back in a "nanojiff."
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And remember to hold on to your nuts,
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because they're about to be blown into space!
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- [sighs]
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Ugh, back off.
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And sit down. God!
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Stand up.
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Sit down.
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Clean that table.
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- Nag us, Nags.
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- We can take it. - We love it.
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- We not be so unwise as to deny the command
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of the most feared overlord in all the land.
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- Way to commit, Jeff.
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- Okay, well, when you're finished with the tables,
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you can degrease all the joysticks,
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and you can unclog all the holes in the air-hockey table.
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Ah, there is so much to get done.
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- Now, this is how you ABE--
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"Always be 'executivizing.'" - I'll write that down.
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- "Initiativizing"-- I like it.
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[horn honks]
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I know! Cool spot, right?
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- Sir, we need you to move your vehicle
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so we can get to the Dumpster.
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- Oh, uh, actually, new thing--
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I'm gonna need you to come around my spot
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at a 45-degree angle, then about-face to the left.
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- We're not pulling into the lot.
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We've gotten stuck back there before.
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Also, we don't have to-- union rules.
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- Oh, the union.
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[bell dings]
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- [sighs] We'll do you a favor,
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and we'll come back at the end of our route.
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Just put the Dumpster back, okay?
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[truck beeping]
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- Quick tip, Pete--
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"The union" is code for "grease the wheels,"
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and "grease the wheels" is code for "bribe me."
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[vacuum cleaner whirring]
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- Clean deeper, harder.
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- Dingernauts, may I introduce to you the master of his craft,
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the lord of deep space,
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the savior of the known universe and our god--
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the Pork E. Pine!
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- Are you guys ready to rock, antigravity style?
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Not this time, Schwartzman.
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- Come on up for a group picture.
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- Halt! Where do you think you're going?
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There's still gum underneath half of these tables.
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Keep cleaning.
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- What have you done with my people?
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- These are my people now,
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and as you said in "Pork Apocalypto" chapter 8,
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"There's no loyalty in space."
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- [wails] Hoisted by my on petard!
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- Waah!
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- They're coming!
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- Make sure they can really see the soap.
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- You didn't give me a walkie-talkie!
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- Hide, Pete!
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Hide!
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[mysterious music]
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Take it. Take it.
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[truck door closes]
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Oh!
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[truck beeping]
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- They didn't like it!
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- Just clean it up.
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- What'd you say?
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- Toss it!
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You know, this is a valuable lesson, Pete.
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Some men can't be bought,
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and some unions can't be defeated.
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Always be knowing when to hold 'em
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and when to fold 'em.
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Fold 'em.
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- What are you doing? - We're taking our payment.
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- You're not stealing our balls.
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- Balls? These are gravitons.
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And we had a contract. - No, we didn't.
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- Episode one, section three, the contract states--
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- Okay, this is real life.
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You do not steal balls from kids, you Dingernauts.
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Plus, you do not want to take these home.
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You know how many times we've cleaned these balls?
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Never! No time.
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- [sniffs] - But...
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we worked hard for these gravitons.
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- Well, you're not taking them.
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- The Mosqueezo has shown her true form.
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- Just like she did before the fall of the Laser Locusts.
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- We will succeed where the Laser Locusts failed.
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Let the rebellion begin!
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[all imitating alarm blaring]
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- Stop it!
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Dinger, your idiot fans are robbing us.
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- It's the uprising.
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Have they taken any hostages?
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- You aren't leaving until you crap out a butterfly!
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- I hate, hate, hate, hate to admit this,
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but I think we're gonna need to work together.
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- Nags the Mosqueezo joining the forces of good...
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interesting plot twist.
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Would you swear allegiance to me?
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- As Nags the Mosqueezo,
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I declare that you may keep all the gravitons
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you have rightfully earned.
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- But as VIP Dingernauts,
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you now have the opportunity to purchase passes
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to see the last feature of our tour--
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Ermagerd and her third.
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- Wait. The whole thing or just the nipple?
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- All of it, for all of your gravitons.
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[all whispering indistinctly]
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- Deal. - Thank God.
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Hand over the balls.
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- Welcome.
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Come closer, and I will reveal the third to you.
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[magical futuristic music]
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- Boobs are magic.
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- Help!
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Anyone?
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Puberty's a bitch.