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Is it better this way, or that way?
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It's horrible whichever way.
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It's not very respectable, really to feel frustrated with one's appearance.
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Mature and reasonable people are not supposed to go around regretting the shape of their nose or the way their hair falls.
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Yet, you gaze in the bathroom mirror and think: Why? In my brief existence on this planet does this have to be me?
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For those unhappy with their looks, pictures are painful, each new image brings more bad news; yet, this isn't crazy.
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We care about our looks for a sound reason.
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Because everyone judges us by them.
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Because they determine the first response.
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To deal with the challenges of our appearance, we need to develop a particular kind of wisdom.
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Here is a start to learning how to cope with one's looks.
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[It's not personal.]
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Personal appearance simply is one of the least democratic parts of life.
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It's a lottery and you haven't won.
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It's nothing to do with you, nor is it to their credit that it is them.
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It just is.
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[Let your disappointment feed your love of beauty.]
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A bald man would appreciate your hair like no one else will.
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It's the ugly who are at the best place to appreciate beauty; something the beautiful should bear in mind when they're considering on who bestow their favors.
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[Rely on ugly parents.]
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People learn about love from their parents.
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And when they're grown up, often search for lovers who remind them a little in some unconscious way of mum or dad.
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The good news is that often mum or dad were quite weird or ugly looking.
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That helps to explain the odd choices good looking people sometimes make.
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Thank God for ugly parents.
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[Laugh at the weird elite.]
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The world is dominated by an often unfair money hierarchy.
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Against that, it's refreshing that there's also this strange looks hierarchy.
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It doesn't restore justice, but it thumbs its nose up at other forms of injustice just a little.
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[Be patient.]
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However unfair the distribution of appearance is today, time will eventually bring justice.
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No one ends up happy with how they look.
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It's just a question of waiting.
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For some, this enchantment may start at 10.
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For others, it may take another 40 years, but it will happen, for sure.
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[See beauty in new places.]
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Rather than saying appearance doesn't matter, you can get better at noticing the less obvious but still real beauty in odder places.
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The trouble with our culture isn't so much that we love appearances but that we focus on too narrow range of features and qualities.
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So, start to get interested in someone's august forehead.
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Note the melancholy sweetness of their eyes.
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Admire an expression of Kindly acceptance.
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Point out serenity.
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A trusting face.
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A candid nose.
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There are so many good and attractive things we can see in people's faces, If we're alert to different types of beauty.
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And hopefully, someone, somewhere, will one day do the same for us.