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  • Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

  • and life you love. Isn’t that beautiful? I think it’s amazing. Today is Q&A Tuesday

  • and today’s question comes from Alisha and Alisha writes:

  • Dear, dear Marie. My boss has the mentality of do whatever it takes to get ahead in business,

  • even if it means being dishonest or using severe manipulation. Every time I bring this

  • up to friends or colleagues they all tell me that the most successful CEOs are ruthless

  • and completely cutthroat. For example, Steve Jobs and Bill Gates. And that this behavior

  • is basically necessary. I hate that and it breaks my heart. How does one create success

  • as a sweetheart? XOXO, Alisha.”

  • Alisha, I love this question. Yes, of course weve all heard stories about Bill Gates

  • and the late, great Steve Jobs and so many others whove been painted, sometimes as

  • super rich genius jerks. But I’ve gotta tell you, thinking that that’s just the

  • way it is or that it has to be is so dangerous. Because if some part of you believes that

  • in order to be successful you have to check your integrity at the door, youre gonna

  • severely limit yourself and what youre capable of achieving.

  • I know most people think that’s the way it works, but it’s not true. This idea that

  • you have to sacrifice your kindness and your values and your moral compass just to be uber

  • successful is plain wrong. Successful people come in all shapes and sizes and there is

  • a critical difference between being a strong, successful leader who achieves remarkable

  • things and being an immoral, dishonest d-bag who does anything to get ahead.

  • First thing I want you to realize is that legendary asshats tend to get a lot of press.

  • And that’s because those are the kind of stories that the media loves. And honestly,

  • none of us know how true those stories really are. Plus those stories give most people an

  • easy out because it reinforces a false belief that in order to be successful, you have to

  • be a jerk.

  • Second, there are tons of hugely successful people that are strong leaders and theyre

  • sweethearts. Now, one that I’ve had personal experience with is Sir Richard Branson. Now,

  • I’ve worked with him, I’ve worked with his team, I’ve watched him interact with

  • his staff, and I can tell you firsthand that he’s an incredibly kind and honorable human

  • being.

  • Is he perfect? No, but neither are you and neither am I and neither is anyone. And there

  • are millions of other strong and successful leaders who are not as famous and theyre

  • doing great things in this world. So how do you do it? I’ve gotta tell you, it is all

  • about your approach. For example, every leader has to be able to do these 4 things:

  • Number one, give direct and honest feedback. Number two, inspire outstanding performance

  • in  your team. Number three, make tough calls, which often means disappointing and upsetting

  • others. Number four, let people go.

  • Here’s the trick, you can either do each of these 4 things like an asshat or like a

  • sweetheart. So, for example, you can give direct and honest feedback with compassion

  • or with cruelty. You can get outstanding results from your team through inspiration or intimidation.

  • Now, you get the idea. Anything you do as a leader can be done with an open, honest

  • heart or you can just be a jerk. The best part, you get to choose what kind of leader

  • you want to be.

  • Finally, I’d go so far as to say that being an asshat in business is not only unnecessary

  • but it’s actually dangerous. In today’s digital world where private emails and texts

  • and videos of conversations get shared with the public on a daily basis, you’d be a

  • total dumbass to behave unethically and think it’s not gonna eventually get out. So let’s

  • land this plane on a Tweetable.

  • Holding onto your heart never has to hold you back from success.”

  • Now I would love to hear your take. As weve discussed, believing that you have to check

  • your integrity at the door in order to be uber successful is just plain wrong. So I’d

  • love to know, what other unchallenged assumptions or beliefs do you have about success that

  • might be holding you back? You can’t change what youre not aware of, so think about

  • it, leave a comment below, and let me know.

  • Now, as always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at,

  • so come on over there and leave a comment now.

  • Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to our lovely channel and share this puppy

  • with all your friends. And if you want even more great resources to create a business

  • and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only get to talk about

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  • Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

  • gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next

  • time

  • on MarieTV.

Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business

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How To Be Uber-Successful Without Being An Asshat

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    Adam Huang   posted on 2016/03/27

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