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  • - You may now kiss the bride.

  • - Just uh, just gonna do one of those.

  • Hi, I'm Zach and I'm single as fuck.

  • - Zach, don't fall in love with me.

  • Hi, I'm Ashly, I'm gonna marry Zach for a week.

  • Which is probably a huge mistake.

  • - It's gonna be great!

  • - Thank you.

  • - You're welcome.

  • - Honestly, a lot of the time, I love being single.

  • I really do.

  • - I do whatever I want, whenever I want.

  • I'm an independent woman.

  • - I've never had to plan my life around another person.

  • I'm not good at letting people into my life.

  • - Committing to another person for the rest of your life

  • is a crazy, crazy...

  • - You said that, and my heartbeat just went up.

  • (gasps)

  • - I want to be in relationships, I do.

  • - At some point, I want to share my life

  • with someone, and the logistics of that

  • seem a little frightening.

  • - This is like, immersion therapy.

  • - Are you gonna carry me over the threshold?

  • - [Zach] No, you carry me.

  • - Why do you have so much shit?

  • - Because we're gonna be together for a week.

  • - Four texts a day, five meals over the course

  • of a week, two nice things that are

  • completely unplanned.

  • - Each?

  • - Each.

  • - Let's just do one.

  • - Where do I put my stuff?

  • - Oh my god, I didn't even think about this.

  • I guess I'll have to move my kimono.

  • So I think, at some point, I'm just going to

  • want him to shut up.

  • - Really, I'm making your bed?

  • - It's our bed.

  • And I know he is definitely gonna want me

  • to shut up.

  • The only CD that I have in my car is Taylor Swift

  • and then I Spotify... - She's almost a year old now.

  • - It doesn't matter, it's the best CD.

  • - Like most married couples, it's gonna be

  • completely sexless.

  • (laughs)

  • Would you say that's accurate?

  • - No.

  • - How do you sleep?

  • - I sleep in fetal position,

  • like a little baby. - So do I.

  • - You have to be comfortable around the other person.

  • - Broccoli makes you fart.

  • I assume it's gonna teach me a lot about myself.

  • Best part about being married so far?

  • Ashley has got citrus amimos shampoo.

  • I smell like a damn tree.

  • Definitely gonna teach me a lot about Ashley.

  • - Ooh, Wonder Woman pajamas.

  • We should probably get some alcohol.

  • Maybe we'll want popsicles.

  • Look how cool those tank is.

  • - [Zach] Ashly, Ashly, eye on the prize.

  • It's been similar so far to friendship,

  • but it's just longer.

  • - Yeah.

  • This is a long, long friendship.

  • - And with retainer.

  • (laughs)

  • - Don't fall in love with me.

  • - Stop saying that.

  • - Zach.

  • For me, the hardest thing to conceptualize

  • is like, your freedom is just gone.

  • - Ashly told me she wants a divorce.

  • - I do.

  • Zach was stressing me out so much.

  • Stop filming me.

  • - [Zach] We need to talk this out.

  • - We're not Kardashians!

  • - Even in the second day of marriage,

  • we started resenting how much time

  • we were spending together, and that's not good.

  • Okay, I'll have you know, that Adam asked me

  • to get dinner, and I said no, I'm gonna order dinner

  • for my wife.

  • - There have gotta be moments where you

  • have panic about like, "Oh my god,

  • "I just signed up for the rest of my life."

  • - Have we made up from our fight yet?

  • - Yep, cuz I got a funny Snapchat of you.

  • - My hair looks stupid.

  • - Your hair was silly.

  • You definitely need time where you're just

  • not even engaging with the other person

  • and it's not rude.

  • - I hate planning dates.

  • Oh, it's such a nightmare.

  • It just stresses me out.

  • - Hi.

  • - Hey Pumpkin, we're gonna be late for

  • our double dinner date with the Fulmers.

  • - Another thing is hanging out with your couples friends.

  • So you're gonna go on a date night.

  • - With you and Ariel? - Gonna go on a double date

  • with me and Ariel.

  • It's great!

  • - We brought wine.

  • - White wine.

  • - We're late, but Zach found a great parking spot.

  • - Yeah.

  • - Hello!

  • - The Kornrezzes are here!

  • - We don't have any pictures of us making out

  • in our house.

  • - [Zach] We don't have any pictures of us in general.

  • - [Ashly] This is so adult.

  • Date night with the Fulmers made me realize

  • why people get married.

  • - We are pounding meat for our wives,

  • pounding meat.

  • - For our wives!

  • - Date night with the Fulmers was the shit.

  • They made a really delicious dinner

  • which I'm not accustomed to anyone cooking for me.

  • Like, what a delight. - [Ashly] Yeah.

  • - A friend cooked for me.

  • How delightful is that?

  • - There really is a moment in every adult's life

  • where you're like, just tired of being single.

  • Would you get bored of this if this was your whole life?

  • - I don't know, I don't think so.

  • - That was wonderful, shall we go home now?

  • - Tomorrow has some prasu...

  • tomorrow has some surprises in store

  • for you, Ashly.

  • - [Ashly] Are you drunk?

  • - Uh, drunk on love.

  • Drunk on marriage.

  • I realized I've never planned a romantic date

  • for anyone.

  • I hate planning dates.

  • Today is like a day of niceties

  • and surprises.

  • - Zach had so many surprises for me.

  • It was fucking crazy.

  • - Having a special day that's like,

  • "This is our date night", it encourages you

  • to think outside the box.

  • - It feels weird cuz it's like, not my birthday or anything.

  • It's just my marriage.

  • - Ashly loves theme parks and it's been

  • hot as balls out, so later today, we're going

  • to a water park.

  • I got one more thing before the water park.

  • - Oh! - A wedding photo of us.

  • - This is so cheesy.

  • I do love word art.

  • Right in front of Taylor.

  • - [Zach] Now we're a family.

  • - I'm gonna keep that forever, that's hilarious.

  • (shouting and cheering)

  • - Oh, here we go!

  • Oh, my butt is dragging!

  • Oh no, I'm backwards!

  • - Woo!

  • Thank you, Ashly.

  • - You're welcome.

  • - [Zach] Married couples probably don't go to water parks

  • unless they have kids, but that's the kind of

  • married couple we would be.

  • - That was so fun.

  • - That was a good test, cuz it was a test of

  • can Ashly and I just spend a ton of time together

  • and not go crazy - [Ashly] Kill each other.

  • - [Zach] wanting to kill each other?

  • And we succeeded.

  • We both said, as soon as we got home,

  • "I had a fun day.

  • "I don't wanna be with you any more."

  • So we're just gonna sit next to each other

  • and try and be alone in the same room.

  • ("Senorita" by Justin Timberlake)

  • - Final night of marriage.

  • - Last night of marriage, we're going to my

  • favorite pho place.

  • - Fo?

  • - Pho.

  • - [Zach] Monday was our final day.

  • It was kinda bittersweet.

  • - And the weird thing was, last night it felt so normal.

  • I forgot for a second that I wasn't actually married.

  • - I got mostly fruit, so it's healthy.

  • - You didn't get even a little bit of fruit.

  • It's nice to have someone who's always

  • on your team.

  • And marriage really is teamwork.

  • Wow.

  • I think this is all married people do.

  • - Just watch TV in bed and drink wine.

  • - Watch TV and drink white wine.

  • - Now that it's over, I'm like, kinda sad.

  • You ready?

  • - Divorce on three.

  • - [Both] One, two, three, divorce!

  • - Oh no.

  • Marriage is fuckin' hard, y'all.

  • - You really can't put yourself first.

  • - And that is like (blows) what?

  • It's scary, to open yourself to another human being

  • but it can also be really rewarding.

  • And I see that now.

  • I wanna get married someday.

  • Do you?

  • - Yeah, totally.

  • - But not to each other.

  • - No.

  • - Definitely not to each other.

  • - Maybe a little, but not really.

  • - Don't fall in love with me, Ashly.

  • - That's my line.

  • We called each other Pumpkin throughout the week.

  • - I heard someone else call Ashly Pumpkin,

  • and I got furious.

  • I was like, "Back the fuck off.

  • "That's my Pumpkin."

  • - Sexual intimacy is a big part of any relationship.

  • - Different video.

  • - [Ned] Okay.

- You may now kiss the bride.

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A2 BEG US zach gonna married marriage date night pumpkin

Single People Get Married For A Week • Single AF

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    莫興文   posted on 2016/03/14
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