and life you love. And today is Q&A Tuesday, one of the best days of the week. Today’s

question comes from Lindsey and Lindsey writes:

“Hey Marie. First, you rock.” No, you rock. “Second, I’m seeking some spiritual

advice. Lately I’ve been struggling with resentment towards a particular person. I

know I need to let go of it, but my gut is telling me not to trust this person because

they’ve burned me before. I don't want this to eat me up inside because I know it’ll

just hold me back from becoming everything I’m meant to be. How do I let it go and

move on when I’m so full of distrust? Do you have any suggestions about how to forgive

without forgetting? Thanks so much, Lindsey.”

Lindsey, this is a fantastic question. Forgiveness is an important topic and it’s a vital spiritual

and emotional practice. You know, as Nelson Mandela once said, resentment is like drinking

poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. Now, I personally get my inspiration from

others who demonstrate forgiveness in incredible ways. So I think about that guy Louis Zamperini,

the Olympic runner that turned war hero in Unbroken. He forgave the prison guard who

brutally tortured him for years. And, of course, I also think about the families of those who

were killed in the horrific shooting in Charleston who also forgave the person who murdered their

loved ones. That’s like forgiveness hall of fame.

Now, thankfully, Lindsey, I don't think your situation is quite as extreme, but still you

feel hurt and you feel betrayed. And you’re right when you say that not forgiving someone,

no matter what they did, will hold you back from being all you’re meant to be.

Here’s the big distinction I want you to get. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you

instantly or ever trust someone again. Forgiveness and trust are separate issues. When you forgive

someone it doesn't mean that you condone their behavior and it doesn't mean that you’re

gonna tolerate any further abuse or lack of respect. And frankly, even if you fully forgive

someone you do not have to keep that person in your life.

Now, Lindsey, you’ve already said that your gut is telling you that you can’t trust

this person, and I think it’s wise to pay attention to that. Now, if you do choose to

keep this person in your life, they’re gonna need to rebuild that trust with you and that’s

likely gonna take some time.

Now, more importantly though, realize that forgiveness is not something that you do for

the person who wronged you. It’s something you do for you. Want a little etymology? The

Latin root means to give completely, without reservation. So think of it this way. When

you forgive, you’re giving a gift to yourself. A gift of freedom, mental, emotional, and

spiritual freedom. And here’s 2 steps to help you do it.

Step number one in this process is forgive yourself, especially if you’re having

any thoughts like, “Oh my goodness, how could I have been so stupid? How could I have been

so naive?” You've got to realize that this situation, like every situation, is an opportunity

to strengthen your soul. You know, every time that I’ve been burned, after I get over

that initial anger and hurt I always ask myself, “What can I learn from this? And how can

I grow from this?” And when I ask those wise questions, what comes back are usually

some really wise answers. Step number two is to forgive the person.

Now, I know that this is easier said than done and there are many, many different approaches

to forgiveness. There’s a spiritual approach, there’s a faith based, there’s a psychological

approach, and what I’ve seen to be the most important step in all of those approaches

is willingness. You being willing. That slight little shift in energy from, “Nuh uh. Can’t

do it,” to, “You know what? I don't know how, but I’m willing to forgive,” can

radically change everything. And a simple little prayer or a mantra that you might wanna

practice saying to yourself is this: “While I don't know how, I am willing to forgive.

Please God, the universe, Smurf fairies, whatever language suits you, show me the way.” Because

that simple willingness is often all it takes to melt the walls around your heart and begin

to truly forgive.

Now, before we wrap up there’s just one more thing that I wanna say about forgiveness

and, yes, it’s a Tweetable.

“Forgiveness isn’t weakness. It’s the ultimate sign of courage and strength.”

That was my A to your Q, Lindsey, and I really do hope it helps. Now I would love to hear

from you. Have you ever wrestled with forgiving someone or rebuilding trust after it’s been

broken? In terms of forgiving and forgetting, what’s worked for you and what hasn’t?

Now, as always, the richest discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com,

and we have a lot of fun in the comments. So please go over there and let me know your

responses now.

Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to our channel and it would be great if you

shared this with your friends. And if you want even more great resources to create a

business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only share

in email, come on over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for email updates.

Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special

gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.