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Hey, it’s Marie Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be, say it with me,
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to create a business and life you love. And today is Q&A Tuesday. Today’s question comes
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from Harold and he writes:
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“Hey Marie, love what you do. Thanks for all the advice and clarity. I’m a highly
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intuitive person. I’m pondering a decision that on all sides points one way logically
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and intuitively it points the other way. Now, I hear the saying to always go with your gut,
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my question is, is it always best to go with what feels right? Thanks, Harold.”
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Great question, Harold. You know, I think we’ve all been in situations where something
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looked really great on paper but for whatever reason, we couldn’t shake that funny feeling
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inside that said, “Nuh uh, don't do it.” You know, whenever I get into a tough spot
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like that, for what it’s worth, I always wind up going with my gut. But it is wise
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to have a process to work through to help you in situations like this, where logic is
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saying one thing and your intuition is telling you another.
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I’ll share a great, strategic decision making process with you in just a few minutes, but
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first I wanna tell you a little story about a time when I went against logic and the expert
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advice of others to follow my own instincts. So back when I was writing my book, Make Every
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Man Want You, I was torn between trying to sell the book to a big publisher or self publishing.
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Now, I did a lot of research and I asked several New York Times bestselling authors for their
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input. And I even paid for a course on book publishing.
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I gotta tell you, Harold, everyone told me not to self publish my book if I ever wanted
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to get taken seriously as an author. In fact, I was told self publishing is the kiss of death. (I heard someone was looking the self publish, (chuckle).)
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And I gotta say, logically I agreed. Self publishing would cost me a lot of money,
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there was a lot of risk involved in the process in terms of quality of the end product, and,
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like it or not, self publishing carried an amateur-like stigma. Plus I had this phrase
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“kiss of death” looming in the back of my head. But I couldn’t shake the feeling
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in my heart that for some crazy reason, I was supposed to self publish.
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So I went ahead with my gut feeling and I decided to self publish my book. And I
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gotta tell you, it was one of the best things I’ve ever done. Not only did I learn a ton
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about project management and production, I gained a lot of confidence, I made great money,
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I changed a lot of lives, and I wound up selling that same self published book to a big publisher
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and today my book is in 16 languages worldwide.
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To be clear for anyone considering it, I’m not saying self publishing is right for every
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person, but in this instance it was right for me. And over time after making enough
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tough decisions, I’ve learned to always trust my gut. But I do get it, Harold. Sometimes,
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like now, you’re just not so sure. And when you’re really torn between logic and intuition,
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there’s one thing I recommend to help yourself make the best decision for you.
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You have got to write it all down. You might be asking, why? Because when you get all the
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possibilities, the pros and cons, the worst case scenarios, and who else your decision
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will impact. When you get all that out of your head and down onto the page, you’re
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gonna be able to evaluate the situation a lot more clearly and, ultimately, you’re gonna be more confident in your decision.
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Let me repeat this: whenever you’ve got an important or difficult decision to make,
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make it on paper. Just thinking about it in your head or even talking about it with other
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people will likely just get you more confused and more unsure. Now, to help you out, here
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are 5 strategic questions you need to ask and answer about your situation.
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Number one, what’s the result or outcome you most want in this area of your life? So
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what’s most important to you? What are you really after here and why? Number two, list
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all your options to move ahead. If it’s just two, that’s fine. But I want you to
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challenge yourself to think outside the box and consider outrageous, even farfetched alternate
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options if that’s relevant for your situation. Now, this is where innovation and creative
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solutions can really spring up. Number three, upsides and downsides for each option. List
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as many as you can think of here. This is your classic pro and con list. Number four,
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worst case scenarios for each option. This one’s vital because we often overestimate
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worst case scenarios in our heads, but when we really take time to write them down we
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see it’s rare that there’s any decision we can’t change or recover from. This helps
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remove fear. Number five, who else will this impact? For each option it’s useful to think
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beyond yourself and consider how your choice may impact your relationship with others.
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Your team, your family, your friends, your customers, etcetera.
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This might seem like a lot of work, Harold, but important decisions can radically impact
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the quality and direction of your entire life. And these 5 questions will strengthen your
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decision making muscles and help you strategically and intelligently work through any tough situation
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you find yourself in. So let’s land this plane on a Tweetable.
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“Sometimes, going with your gut is more than a snap decision.”
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Now, by the way, if you haven’t seen our other episodes, one’s called Four Ways to
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Sharpen Your Intuition, the other, How to Tell the Difference Between Fear and Intuition,
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make sure you check them out. I’m also gonna put links to them below.
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Now I would love to hear from you. Have you ever felt torn between your sense of logic
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and your sense of intuition? Any tools or practices that have repeatedly helped you
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intelligently and strategically work through some kind of dilemma?
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As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so get your buns
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over there and leave a comment now.
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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams, because the world needs that special
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gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.