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Here we will explore true facts about the fruit bat.
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There are many species of fruit bat. Most of these are megabats.
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This means they're in the suborder of Megachiroptera
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and the family Pteropodidae.
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Yes, the Latins went a little apesh*t with the naming of things,
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which is, however, lucky because if YouTube had done the naming
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these would all be called "big-ass bat check out my tumblr you dick weed
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.com"
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The megabat fruit bats include the largest true flying mammals in the world:
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the flying fox. Which is a bat.
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The largest of these can have wing spans of over five feet.
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Luckily, they eat fruit.
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Unlike the bird, the bat wing is made of a thin membrane of skin
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stretching between its body, arm, hand, and very long creepy fingers.
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When resting, the megabat uses its wing to surround itself like a blanket.
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It hangs upside down with the help of its cool little feet
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in order to create a chimney in the event of a dutch oven.
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Thank you, Urban Dictionary.
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This is important because the megabat possesses an amazing sense of smell.
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Unlike the microbat, the megabat does not possess echolocation.
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This is because with the exception of the guava, fruit does not give up much chase.
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Here you can see different parts of the megabat's anatomy.
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Its wings, its tiny round kneecaps...
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Wait, those aren't kneecaps.
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What are you doing, you're licking-? Oh my.
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Let's just pretend they're kneecaps.
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For amusement, groups of megabats hang on trees and
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using the raincoat that evolution has given them,
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they flash one another.
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Mega-dirty. Megabat.
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Partially due to the fact that these animals are eaten as a delicacy,
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they are endangered and sometimes their babies must be raised in
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the cutest damn sanctuaries in the world.
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Meet Eric. Eric is not a megabat.
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Eric is one of the few microbat fruit bats. When he was young,
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some of the other microbats called him Vagina-Face.
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No one ever referred to him as a flying fox.
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In fact, he was given the nickname Flying-F*ck,
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but those bats were idiots because Eric is a sensitive and wonderful fruit bat.
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He even writes poetry
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about grapes.
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And while those other bats live empty lives judging the world by how it looks,
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Eric focused on what was inside
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and he found Lily.
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and the two of them have better sex than all the rest of them.